About 'International Men's Day'

[ZoeTurtle]

I've just been informed by a colleague that it's International Men's Day. According to their website:

It is an occasion for men to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care while highlighting the discrimination against them.

AIBU to think this is MRA bollocks or is there a big problem of "discrimination against men" that we should be highlighting?

[MephistophelesApprentice]

And feminists wearing t-shirts saying they bathe in male tears get columns in national newspapers, then claim that men not talking about their emotions is down to other men.

Why shouldn't we be able to advocate for ourselves, in the face of such hostility and disdain from those claiming to pursue equality?

[MoriartyIsMyAngel]

DamnBamboo - there are support groups and charities set up to help men in those areas now, if it's something he's still dealing with.

[MoriartyIsMyAngel]

And feminists wearing t-shirts saying they bathe in male tears get columns in national newspapers, then claim that men not talking about their emotions is down to other men.

Oh, men do that too. More than once I've had the response 'Female tears, yummy!' or 'Feminist tears, I love them!' while debating (almost anything) on the internet while being female. I think it was a 'thing' for a while. I resolved that by choosing gender neutral names for most online accounts. It's so nice to disagree with a man on a YouTube video and still have them call me 'mate' and be reasonable with me because they assume I'm male!

[DamnBamboo]

Thanks Moriarty will tell him, but he's always on the lookout as he just hasn't gotten over it and has never been able to access anything at all where he lives (Yorkshire)

[MoriartyIsMyAngel]

Tell him to contact RAINN, they're very good.

[CandyCaneCottage]

Except they are completely different, feminism says that it's good for everyone, but I don't expect women to necessarily fight for men, but I do feel that those that won't and believe men should do it themselves should then appreciate what they are doing and not derail it.

Regarding the person with depression, there are many different facets, for example it could be that he doesn't feel entitled to a girlfriend or see girlfriends as a trophy but wants the companionship that one brings. Dependent on age it could be entitlement to things that he isn't entitled to but children generally feel entitled and some older children or even adults who develop slowly feel entitlements to things they aren't entitled to.

Also some women also get depressed because they aren't in a relationship, so then by logic there are entitled women also

[DamnBamboo]

*He's doing okay now, and I kept my thoughts to myself of course, but I absolutely think feminism could help him, because seeing young women as trophies instead of human beings was fucking his head up

Just feminism though? Or maybe people who believe in an egalitarian society, on all counts?

[GhostofFrankGrimes]

These supposedly innocuous threads about "the menz" always end up with thinly veiled jibes and cynicism from the usual quarters. Anyone would think mumsnetters did not have sons, fathers, husbands..

Obfuscation overload.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Yeah,of course we need a day to celebrate men's achievements. The newspapers, TV, film industry etc are just full of women being praised and given awards. Every discussion panel, committee, parliamentary group, board of directors is made up entirely of women, well, perhaps with a token man if someone reminds the organisers that men are people, too. Now that political correctness has gone mad, men's achievements have disappeared from the history lessons taught in our schools. It's time to redress the balance...

[CandyCaneCottage]

so SGB you think professional power = happiness, its not all about power...

[Flashbangandgone]

I didn't think there needed to be an international men's day, but reading the thinly veiled disdain for the male sex from various posts, perhaps it is something that's needed! Yet again it's a case of certain people who would proudly brand themselves as liberal being decidedly illiberal and not seeing the irony!

Yes, there's a history of inequality with regard to women, but to argue that there aren't issues that tend to disproportionately impact onto men is wrong (suicide for instance).

[IrishDad79]

Father's Day an excuse for a piss-up? Why wasn't I told about this? And all this time I've wasted it by spending the day with my kids when I could have been down the boozer.

PS Vestal is fucking clueless.

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Are they discussing being more proactive in the home? taking on more day to day childcare responsibilities? are they debating why men abuse women and ways of dealing with such men through policy change? are they pulling each other up on extra marital affairs, pledging to be faithful to their wives and building happy homes for their children? are they discussing why men abandon their children so often and what they should do about it ….if they are doing all this then i'm all for International men's day.

International mens day, which men can spend thinking about women. Hmm.

While I don't agree that women should dictate what men focus on on IMD, bloody hell, did you just write off men's treatment of women and miscellaneous other (huge) faults as women's problems?!


A discussion about men pulling their weight in the home would be men thinking about women?

A discussion about men doing their share of childcare would be men thinking about women?

A discussion about men not betraying a partner in a monogamous relationship would be men thinking about women?

A discussion about men building happy homes for their children would be men thinking about women?


What aspect of the normal tasks of daily life do you not perceive as men doing women a favour, exactly?

[Flashbangandgone]

Are they discussing being more proactive in the home? taking on more day to day childcare responsibilities? are they debating why men abuse women and ways of dealing with such men through policy change? Etc etc

This one-dimensional narrative of 'women are victims with men their oppressors' is unhelpful and, albeit we don't yet have full gender equality, is wrong.

[MephistophelesApprentice]

SmillasSenseOfSnow

Those are things men and women should be working to balance every day of the year.

But unless you believe male suicide rates are somehow related to things that women are doing, it would be fair to see IMD be a day where I don't have to examine my identity in relation to women.

[SolidGoldBrass]

An INternational Day for suicide prevention would be a good idea. As would an international event reminding men to take care of their health. I have recently been to a few events where there were stands raising awareness of testicular cancer and encouraging men to examine their bollocks for potential problems.
All that's all good.

But men-as-a-class oppress women-as-a-class. There are no societies or cultures in this world in which men have fewer rights than women, are legally owned by women, are routinely bought and sold by women, killed by women with comparative impunity. There are countries, cultures and societies where women are forbidden to vote, drive, own property, go out unaccompanied etc.

So feminism, the liberation of women,remains an important movement. By all means set up or support campaigns to assist specific male issues, men's mental or physical health problems, etc. Or set up campaigns to help specific categories of people such as wheelchair users, refugees, ex-forces, cancer sufferers. Or support animal charities if that's where your priorities lie.

Many individual feminists are involved in other kinds of activism or charity work, just as many people who campaign and fundraise for animal welfare, prison education, curing cancer, etc, support feminist causes.

But feminism is about women. It doesn't need to be diluted or distracted by all the other valid causes that any and all individuals can involve themselves with. Feminism is for women.