WIBU to just fuck off

[MusicalFanjo]

I've got a bloody stinking cold and chesty cough and feel like utter shite and I haven't slept for more than a few hours for the past 3 nights as 4 week old DS has been cluster feeding.

My partners alarms have been going off since just gone 5am. He has no fucking intention of getting his arse out of bed until at least 7. Every 2 fucking minutes they are going off. I'm awake, DS 4 weeks is awake and now my (also poorly) 22month old is awake. My partner is, you guessed it ASLEEP!

He knows I'm pissed off, he knows he's woke the kids up and yet he can't be bothered to get up.

Well I've just got dressed and I'm seriously tempted to just fuck off out for the day and leave him to look after the kids. I've already told him
That I hope he enjoys having them today. The only thing stopping me is the fact he does actually need to go to work and I don't actually have anywhere to go (loner) well that and DS2 is exclusively breastfed so the poor mite would starve.

I'm fuming absolutely fucking fuming. I'm just so so tired and I really can't face the over tired tantrums from ds1 that are bound to happen today now. I am struggling enough as it is. Having two under 2's is hard. I don't know anyone here so I'm always on my own and I struggle to get out and about with both kids in tow so we tend to spend most of our time at home. The days seem to be getting longer and I don't know how to fill them.

He will probably be waking up soon and I can guarantee that he will have the arse with me for being short with him... Because having your alarms set to go off every two fucking minutes for a solid two hours is perfectly reasonable don't you know.

Twat.

I just cannot make sense of this at all.

If he knows that he sleeps through the alarms & you don't, then surely the point of them has only ever been to wake you up unnecessarily?

How did he ever wake up before you moved in?

There is absolutely no logic to this at all! !!

Is he mentally challenged?

Yes he is knackered after having such disrupted sleep. I've told him that it would be easier to wake up if he just set a single alarm, maybe two at most, for when he actually needs to get up. If I need to set an alarm in the morning I get up and go to the toilet as soon as it goes off. Most of the time I don't actually need to use the bathroom but it wakes me up.

I don't think it is all selfishness, he genuinely does struggle and it is hard to get up after that kind of sleep disruption. It's the fact that this could easily be resolved by the above that I find selfish. He has always been like this as long as he remembers. His mum used to have a real hard time waking him. He can have a conversation with you then immediately fall back to sleep and have no memory of it. Because of all this he now doesn't trust himself to get up, hence the multiple alarms.

I once lived with someone that did this, repeated snoozing off alarms, when he finally got up to get dressed he'd turn ALL the lights on, bounce up and down on the bed getting his pants and socks on because standing on one leg was too much the whole thing took hours - once he got up, ran a bath, went back to sleep, and - what a surprise - only woke up once the bath water was dripping from the kitchen ceiling. He did THE SAME THING the next week.

Shortly after, he moved out

Is there a spare house room your DP could move into? This is just ridiculous. Does he really think he is so much more important than you?

It IS selfishness if he knows it wakes everyone else up. If he wasnt selfish he'd realise that his way wasnt working and he'd find a new way.

When I was your age I had a DP with the same issue. Slightly different in that every night he set his alarm ludicrously early so that he could read/jog/invent a new computer game before work.

On not one occasion did he attempt to get up and do any of these. Instead, it was the snooze/swear/snooze/swear routine while I lay awake beside him, nervous that he would be late for work.

Why in the name of God did I live like that? I could slap my younger self in the face.

And I didn't have kids!!

Take action. You know you have to.

I have to get up at 5am for work and trust me, if I didn't have to there's no way I'd be setting my alarm!

What a dick. That's very selfish behaviour.

Just confiscate all his alarms and hide them.

It's selfish. There's no excuse for it.

I dated a couple of people like that, Morris. Never made it to living together stage for that very reason.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I'm really not a morning person - I often stagger out of bed at 7, when DH has been up with the kids since 5.

The business with the alarms is assholish, though. It's not waking him up so he needs to fucking pack it in.

Next time, take his duvet off him and chuck it down the stairs, if he won't give you the opportunity to switch the alarms off. Or make it clear that he needs to go sleep elsewhere in the house (because, after all, why should you?)

I can sleep through some of his alarms myself now diddl on a few occasions I have briefly woken to an alarm and then properly woke an hour or so later to find that he had already left the house.

this week has been really busy for him at work and he has needed to go in early to have even a chance at getting all his work done. so he's been using his main loud alarm with the volume up higher than usual alongside his phone alarms. It's this loud alarm that I can't sleep through. I don't know how anybody can sleep through that.

SoDiana Thu 19-Nov-15 09:02:23

There is absolutely no logic to this at all! !!

Is he mentally challenged?

WTF?

I'm just feeling a bit down in the dumps at the minute and I think
this is why I'm letting things bother me more than they usually would.

I have to get up at 2.30 or 3 am sometimes, due to shifts. I used to hit the snooze button, but have learned that the best thing is to set the alarm for when you have to get up and then, just get up immediately. It's the only way.

Switch it off if he doesn't when it goes off and go back to sleep.

Also, I agree with all the PPs that he is really selfish. You say he helps with the DC, but he doesn't really, does he, as he's got to work later today to make up for lying in this morning? Poor you, and poor DC.

We love our Xiaomi wristands, they vibrate on your wrist and wake you up but no one else is disturbed by them. Cost £10 on amazon.

Like the PP I also used to get up at 5 when DS was breastfeeding, and do stuff for myself for a couple of hours. I used to nap for an hour in the day and go to bed at 9pm. For the few months while babies wake up EVERY night you need to protect your sleep carefully.

When you feed you DS in the night, can you just stay in his bed with him? In a low bed where he couldn't fall off ...

He is extremely selfish.

I had a lazy arse of an ex like this. Luckily we had no DC thank the Lord.

I would absolutely go out and leave him to sort it all. Book yourself into a hotel to catch up on sleep.

Cheesy 22mo DS has his own room but DS2 is in my room. I only breastfeed DS2 and tend to do that while snoozing in bed anyway.

I daren't climb in to DS1s bed. The little bugger keeps pulling his willy out the side of his nappy and weeing everywhere. I'm having to wash all of his bedding, including his quilt almost every day.

OP I'm letting things bother me more than they usually would.

This should be bothering you, it is a big deal. You should all go to bed earlier and get more sleep!

Oh no hang on that's what my mother always says
Turns out she's right then

good luck

Wow you poor thing to cope with a 22 month old and on,y just given birth 4 weeks ago why isn't he being more helpful to you
You are still recovering from an enormous physical, psychological,emotional event to your body which is still going on with breastfeeding.
You absolutely need all the sleep you can get.
Sleep is a form of healing and essential for you recoveryyou sound as if neither of you are taking this seriously enough.
I am worried about the tendency for you developing pnd as I did in these circumstances.
Why isn't he nurturing you as you need.
I'm sorry you may feel let down but this is serious and he needs to sleep on the sofa and on the days he doesn't go to work take the babies and let you sleep during the day as well as during the night.
Please take care of yourself

X Post Musical
Poor you! loads of washing too! I wonder why he does that?
Has anyone else had misplacing-willy syndrome in their boys?

I'd be keeping a glass of water by the bed tonight and pouring it over DH at the 5am alarm.

Just turn the alarm off. He's an adult, he can get himself up for work for god's sake. If he has to carry on with the two hour snooze he needs to do it another room.