WIBU to just fuck off

[MusicalFanjo]

I've got a bloody stinking cold and chesty cough and feel like utter shite and I haven't slept for more than a few hours for the past 3 nights as 4 week old DS has been cluster feeding.

My partners alarms have been going off since just gone 5am. He has no fucking intention of getting his arse out of bed until at least 7. Every 2 fucking minutes they are going off. I'm awake, DS 4 weeks is awake and now my (also poorly) 22month old is awake. My partner is, you guessed it ASLEEP!

He knows I'm pissed off, he knows he's woke the kids up and yet he can't be bothered to get up.

Well I've just got dressed and I'm seriously tempted to just fuck off out for the day and leave him to look after the kids. I've already told him
That I hope he enjoys having them today. The only thing stopping me is the fact he does actually need to go to work and I don't actually have anywhere to go (loner) well that and DS2 is exclusively breastfed so the poor mite would starve.

I'm fuming absolutely fucking fuming. I'm just so so tired and I really can't face the over tired tantrums from ds1 that are bound to happen today now. I am struggling enough as it is. Having two under 2's is hard. I don't know anyone here so I'm always on my own and I struggle to get out and about with both kids in tow so we tend to spend most of our time at home. The days seem to be getting longer and I don't know how to fill them.

He will probably be waking up soon and I can guarantee that he will have the arse with me for being short with him... Because having your alarms set to go off every two fucking minutes for a solid two hours is perfectly reasonable don't you know.

Twat.

Couldn't you have just got up yourself and switched the alarm off?? I am not excusing his terrible behaviour but this it could have been easily fixed.

I am up before DH anyway and am normally up when the alarm first goes off I get up unless DS1 wakes me up Very rarely will it go on snooze as one of use may as well have a sleep in!

Well if he gets back into bed he's an arse.
Blaming you for his laziness?
Pathetic

wait until he's asleep - change his alarms so they go off at 7am.

Bucket of water. Cold. Just preempt it by putting a waterproof mattress protector underneath his side. Selfish bastard.

I'd be screaming in his face "GET UP GET UP GET UP YOU SELFISH LAZY BASTARD" on repeat for a few days until he learned his lesson. Failing that, he can sleep in another room and take his phone and alarm with him.

He's actually mental. 5am????

I would send him to sleep in another room for a start (sofa if there's nothing else). When one of us is ill, and coughing all night, we do sleep in different bedrooms. It helps A LOT! If you keep the baby in your room, then he can sleep in his room?
(I do the same when I have a baby, what's the point of both of us being awake every 2 hours)

on another note, when you are feeling better, even if you don't know anyone in you area, have you researched playgroups where you could take your kids? The children centres should have a list (and probably organise something themselves). You will be less isolated if you can bring your eldest a few times a week.

Good luck

Wny is the alarm set for 5am if no one needs to get up. Just alter it.

Op, this is sleep torture! What a selfish bastard. It's not your job to get a grown man up out of bed and to work. Agree with all the water posts above - or let him sleep in the spare room. Or kick him out.

midnight honestly the relationship is otherwise great. He pulls his weight at home and helps out with the kids as much as he can. He supports me through various family issues. We have fun together and can spend whole evenings giggling like kids. I am overall extremely happy in the relationship but this is his major downfall and frankly I've been fed up with it for years. I've done all I can do now. Nothing will improve until he starts taking responsibility for himself getting up. I'm not his secondary alarm clock. but how the hell do I make him do that? This shit should come naturally to an adult.

Is he sorry for all the disruption to everyone else? If so, he can use ONE alarm, no snoozes, and get up when it goes off. If he's not sorry, he can go sleep on the sofa surrounded by all his alarms and leave the rest of the house in peace.

Why does he feel it's acceptable to wake the whole house up at 5am for two hours?

So nothing has changed then since you last posted.

Just tell him that if he doesn't get up immediately when the alarm goes off that you will be turning them all off. Every morning. No exceptions. Adults get up and are responsible for getting up. If he is then late it was his choice to go back to bed and not your problem. A few times being late to work may land him in hot water which might sort him out.

Lock yourself in the bathroom and let the children wake him up. They are extremely effective alarms.

Definitely agree on the playgroup idea - there's bound to be other local parents who don't know anyone either and you'll never make friends with them unless you go out to meet them.

I just don't know where to start with someone as selfish and inconsiderate as your DP. Can you imagine if you needed two hours of snoozing before waking up to go to baby DS each time? He'd practically starve. Your partner really needs to grow up.

He's going back to bed because he has bags of time. The alarm needs to be set for when he has to be up. Let him be late for work if he doesn't get up, he'll soon learn.

When you're awake feeding in the middle of the night, unplug his alarms or switch them off.

The man must need to go to bed earlier, I second pp that said change he's alarm to the time he actually needs to get up, maybe the last 2 hours sleep being constantly broken is ruining him too. None of this is an excuse for the rudeness and selfishness of he's behaviour tho.

The first alarm means he gets up or gets kicked out of bed. Or sleeps elsewhere.

If he is such a great guy then he'll understand

Or he's not.

This guy AGAIN!

Just put your foot down. Go ballistic whenever it happens. How do you live like this??

I would be sleeping elsewhere and leaving him to it.

Crumbs, I'd have lamped my husband over the alarm clock thing. And if he pulled a stunt like telling me he was working late because he couldn't be arsed getting up, I'd actually cut the crotch out of every pair of trouser

Two under two is hard work, and the Crystal Maze would be easier than getting them both into bed.

Best of luck not throttling him! And wrangling two does get easier

I would refuse to sleep in the same room as him, especially if the baby is in there too.
He can sleep in the living room and wake himself up ten times in a morning while you sleep in peace.

He's getting 2 hours less sleep than he's allowed to. By continually waking himself up for 2 HOURS!!!!! (sorry, can't get over that. Half an hour, maybe, but 2 FUCKING HOURS) he's not getting decent REM sleep. No wonder he's tired. Studies show that an extra hour's sleep can make a huge difference to how a person feels. Imagine how he'll feel on 2.

His alarm goes off at 6.50. He sits up, he gets up, HE'S AWAKE. Waking across the room to get his phone and then going back to bed at 5am is not an accident, not sleepwalking, not "just 5 more minutes", it's WILFUL and DISRESPECTFUL to the rest of the household.

Show him this thread when he (eventually) gets home tonight. He needs a kick up his lazy ass.

OP there's another alarm clock thread this morning. Has your idiot partner tried something called a lumi? I think this is an alarm clock that gradually lights up the room making it easier to wake up and be more awake when the alarm goes off.

You are enabling him to do this op. I would quite clearly tell him that this is not working especially if he is still waking up late.
All but one alarm is to be set, if he doesn't get up for that it is his fault. You are not his parent it is not your responsibility to wake him up for work. You have a choice, continue with this argument or change your attitude towards it.