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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving children in cars? Is this ok or not?

142 replies

babarthefuckingelephant · 17/11/2015 21:30

Theres another mum at the nursery that i've noticed since the weather has been getting colder has been leaving her baby in the car while she takes her toddler in or picks her up. Car is locked and usually parked at the end of the path so 10-20ft from the door, and she seems really blasé about it but it unsettles me a bit and i don't know if IABU and just overanxious. Its a small nursery and you can be in and out in a minute or two but then you never know when someone will pull you to the side and it will take longer. I don't know whether to mention it to somebody, but then I leave my baby in the car when i go into the petrol station to pay for petrol (about the same distance and time), so am i just over worrying?

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 17/11/2015 22:20

I think it's fine. what do you think is going to happen to the child in the car outside nursery? How do you know the child isn't sleeping? Why not mind your own business?

gingerdad · 17/11/2015 22:21

I left my DD in the coop once

Had a parent come to collect twins from cubs once walked home. Then came back realising she'd forgotten them.

Too much over thinking the problem here.

HairyLittleCarrot · 17/11/2015 22:25

"Mother strays 10 feet from baby for 60 seconds. Child Services alerted."

Statistically, the child is probably at greater risk of being carried off by a swooping winged unicorn were the mother to carry it down the path instead of leaving it strapped in a seat in a locked car.

I honestly think these threads are just a combination of irrational fear that GCHQ are monitoring us ready to alert child services to each of our fruitshoot infractions, combined with the pleasure of ohmigod I'd never do that oneupmanship.

HairyLittleCarrot · 17/11/2015 22:26

gingerdad
I read that as chicken coop.

Time for bed, I reckon.

skankingpiglet · 17/11/2015 22:30

I leave DD when I pay for petrol, post letters etc. I would happily leave her whilst I nipped in to my local shop to get a loaf or similar, but I'm worried about someone clutching their pearls and the news story fairly recently about someone getting on trouble with the police for popping into a shop to collect a prescription when they could still see the car. Really, what's going to happen? She's her biggest danger to herself, and she's tightly strapped in. I leave her longer to use the loo!

gingerdad · 17/11/2015 22:35

Lol I did go back and get her once I got to the car and couldn't figure what I'd forgotten. DW wasn't to impressed.

Dixiechickonhols · 17/11/2015 22:36

The mum has weighed up the risks. It sounds fine. What could happen? Car setting on fire, someone crashing into car, someone smashing window and stealing baby are all highly unlikely.

HearTheThunderRoar · 17/11/2015 22:39

Not everyone has pay at pump, where I live (abroad) there is only one which is at the other side of the city.

I use to leave DD in the car at about 2 when I was going for petrol etc and it was for all of 2 minuets. Mind you, this was 15 years ago when I think people were a bit more relaxed about this sort of thing.

imwithspud · 17/11/2015 22:55

Dd1 goes to pre-school 3 mornings a week. I've never left dd2 in the car to drop her off or pick her up, apart from the time my dm came with me at pick up time and she waited in the car with her. It's just not something that I feel comfortable with, dd2 tends to get unsettled in the car if it's not moving. The car seat just clips onto the pushchair which is light and easy to unfold so it's no skin off my nose.

I have how ever left them in the car to go to a cash point, post a letter (usually parked right outside or thereabouts) and to pay for petrol if pay at the pump isn't available.

Strokethefurrywall · 17/11/2015 23:04

Blimey, I leave my kids isn't he car all the time, have done since they were tiny!
Used to drop DS1 off at pre-school, park outside on quiet road, leave engine running and newborn DS2 asleep or awake, it never mattered, and drop off. I was gone perhaps 2-3 minutes total.

Have always left them to pay for gas, I think people are far more relaxed about things here! Didn't realise it was something to frown on!

LaLaLaaaa · 17/11/2015 23:07

Is it not illegal to leave car with engine running? Or are you not in UK? Perhaps it's not where you are.

Round my way a number of cars have been stolen after folk left them with engines running. I don't leave mine for that reason, more than legality Grin

I think I'd leave baby in car if I was going to be a minute posting letter or something. If I was going to walk out of sight then I wouldn't

timeisnotaline · 18/11/2015 00:33

People are worried it might be longer than 5 minutes. I see at least every year news of a baby dead or seriously at risk from being left inside a car in warm weather so just thinking about it gets me anxious even though I'm sure it's completely different in winter. If there wasn't a window open I don't know if I could just leave without seeing the parent return.

RudyMentary · 18/11/2015 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unsurechicken · 18/11/2015 01:12

I actually think that your talking about me.

Weird huh but in my situation I'm awaiting an operation on both wrists and to get my toddler and then to carry my baby in his car seat kills me literally it's agony.

So I had a chat with the health visitor and she said to leave baby and only take the toddler in. Same with loading themy in to the car leave one in the car and come back for the second. No law against ithe and actually it's most practical and its the safest way for my children.

If it is me, nursery is by KFC and McDonald's please feel free to help me carry baby in while I drop off or collect my daughter that would be the kindest thing.

Strokethefurrywall · 18/11/2015 01:17

Might be illegal here but I doubt it (British overseas territory!) - seeing as the police don't enforce the wearing of seatbelt a for kids here!!

That being said, I wouldn't leave kids in the car with the engine off, always when the a/c is on. And for like the 3 minutes it takes for drop off.

Strokethefurrywall · 18/11/2015 01:18

Thankfully we live in a place where the chance that someone might steal your car with your kid in it is very minimal!

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 18/11/2015 01:22

It's illegal to leave a child under 7 years old in a car for more than 5 minutes here (Texas)

BitOfFun · 18/11/2015 01:32

Show me one case of Social Services giving a tiny shit about a baby left securely in its seat while the parent pays for petrol or drops a child off at childcare. Really? Not in the real world.

caroldecker · 18/11/2015 01:38

this US site suggests most of the laws relate to hot states and the problems with overheating rather than any other danger.

lavenderhoney · 18/11/2015 02:10

Op, what do you think might happen? If she's gone for less than 2 mins and the baby is asleep I can't see a problem.surely it's kinder to leave the baby sleeping ( clearly with you watching!:) than get it out, faff around, get it back in, maybe a lot of yelling? You said yourself she's only gone a minute or two.

Sometimes I leave my poorly DC in the car whilst dropping off at school and picking up the other one. It's a quiet country school to be fair, and no traffic at all except for school, but the last thing they want to do is get out in pjs and come with me.

Want2bSupermum · 18/11/2015 02:21

Here in NJ it's illegal to leave a child unattended in a car. Not only is the heat an issue in summer but there is a risk of the child getting out of their seat and being able to release the hand brake. We also have remote start on our car which DH has activated a few times by accident.

I dont like to leave my kids in the car unattended. On Sunday we attended a party and DS fell asleep five mins before we got there. I took her in and explained DS was sleeping. Two of the other mothers volunteered to watch DD while I sat in the car with DS.

lavenderhoney · 18/11/2015 02:32

Why didn't you take your ds in with you in the buggy or pram? You being on the car doesn't make it less hot or whatever unless you're running the a/c. I would have been v bored sat in the car.

I wouldn't leave a child for ages, but a couple of minutes is fine, depending on circumstances. I lived in the ME and wouldn't have left a DC for a moment in the heat. Here in the Uk, it's a bit different. And they are strapped in anyway. Older kids should know not to bounce about and touch the controls.

Want2bSupermum · 18/11/2015 02:36

I would have taken DS in with me but dearest DH took the stroller out of the car at work and left his golf clubs in there. He would have had an earful but he was 3000 miles away.

GreatFuckability · 18/11/2015 02:51

i did it all the time, bugger getting 3 kids out of car seats to pay for petrol/nip in the shop/take one kid into nursery. all 3 survived so far.

Strokethefurrywall · 18/11/2015 02:57

See it's the same here - 85oF every day and I still leave them in the car as long as its switched on and the AC is on full. Trying to get both of them out is a menace now that DS2 is 18 months, it was easier when he was tiny!

Neither of them are concerned when I leave the car to pay for gas or drop one of them off at pre-school.

I'd never leave them in a car park and go into a grocery store as they'd be clmetrly out of sight but for quick errands im comfortable with it.