to be annoyed the school showed a video about the Paris attacks?

[DancingLady]

DD is 5, and in assembly today the children were shown a short video about the Paris attacks. Might have been the Newsround one - from what I've read, it sounds similar. I asked her for context (did the HM talk about the attacks before or after the clip?) and she said she didn't know. I'm a bit baffled as to why a school would feel it was their place to show a load of 4, 5 and 6-year-olds (it's a new school with only reception-year 2) this.

We've talked to DD about what happened - she saw we were upset on Saturday and while we didn't have the TV on DH and I discussed it a bit and answered her questions. Tonight at bedtime she was scared and worried.

Would you mention this to the HM or your child's teacher? I don't think it's a school's place to show this to children - not such small ones, anyway.

I really can't think that the Head was showing the worst. The idea was to reassure. As Ubik said with her children the older ones were discussing it - of course the younger one listens. They are not traumatised if adults are willing to answer questions. I doubt the school were 'pre-empting' it- they were responding to what was already being talked about.

Far more likely to be traumatised by talk in the playground and then adults ignoring it. Far more reassuring to have adults adding balance.

I remember I was at school when the Chelsea smilers rumour went around. This was pre-internet, late 80s. Basically in the space of a week or so a rumour spread around all the schools in the South East that a gang of Chelsea fans were going around attacking schools, asking children which football team they supported. If they said a team other than Chelsea they would make a small cut on either side of the child's mouth then kick them so they screamed and the cuts would split up their cheeks. Some people were keeping their children off school and it genuinely spread panic. I remember children crying terrified in the corridor refusing to go in the playground. It was entirely untrue, a few attacks had happened amongst football hooligans some years previously, and the Chelsea firm were active and unpleasant hooligans at the time.

It wasn't easy for people to confirm if things like that were untrue quickly in pre-internet days. But it does show how quickly frightening and unpleasant rumours can spread amongst children, particularly if there is a grain of truth or uncertainty about what exactly is happening. I think this really is a situation where children would be much more frightened by hearing rumours and half truths than they would be by an age appropriate and sensible news report. I think it's a good thing.

I wonder how much time some posters have actually spent in school playgrounds, in recent years, other than dropping off and collecting.

Well I asked my DS, circumspectly, he didn't know what I was talking about. You can't assume all playgrounds are abuzz with this. Perhaps we are very fortunate, I refuse to feel bad about that.
It is not 'disrespectful' for the school not to discuss this with young children.

YANBU. Scaremongering is neither supportive nor helpful.

I remember at 5 being vaguely aware of the famine in Ethiopia. Then the teacher covered it in a lesson. It is the first big news story I remember.
When there is a big news story, most children will become aware of it. Either from the radio, TV, or from hearing adults of other children talking. When we were in the car, the radio presenter on an ordinary music show talked about Paris in between the songs.

So yes I do think children need things explained to them. Sometimes what they imagine can be far worse.

Mehitabel the HT himself told me he was preempting playground rumours by showing a Newsround clip in assembly. This is a new primary - there are no children older than Year 2. So I'm not sure there would have been a load of chat about it in the playground anyway.

Not sure who said that 'loads of 5-year-olds' have older siblings - some do, loads don't. My eldest is 5 and I know dozens of parents the same, with younger kids. So no, many, many 5-yo won't have heard this from older siblings.

I think the school should have dealt with this on a 'need to know' basis - maybe talking to year groups individually, as there's a big difference in what the average 4-yo and the average 6-yo can process.

I don't think children as young as 5 need to know about any of it.
A 5 year old cannot process what it is all about even if it is explained to them. Just because you have talked about it doesn't mean the child will go away happy and it is all sorted.
My parents explained things to me if I asked but then I would go away and worry about it anyway and was not always able to express my worries to my parents.
You don't have to let your child see reports like the Paris attacks FFS. If the TV is constantly on that they see it then stop allowing it!
Proudly announcing you don't shield your young kids from this stuff is irresponsible. You should be until they are quite a lot older.
Children should not have to worry about the crap adults have caused.

It is so sad that parents want their children to know everything. No wonder today's kids are stressed to death.

We haven't shielded nearly 5yo ds from it but we haven't hidden it either. We were discussing it on Saturday thinking he wasn't listening and ds piped up "what happened in France?" So we said that some bad people killed some other people. He said if he was there he'd have hit them in the face and stopped them. Bless him, he's still so innocent in some ways. Apart from that he hasn't mentioned it and seems to have forgotten and is untraumatised by it. I'm not sure I'd appreciate his school showing him a video as it's not really their place to at that age. But it would depend on the video. There's a beautiful one circulating where a father is having a conversation with his son who is about the same age and he's explaining the power of flowers and candles. I'd have no problem with them showing that as its message is very reassuring.

Sorry just seen that a pp put the link up of the father talking to his son. We'll worth a watch.

I commented previously and have only caught up to page 3 comments. But I've got to say, so many people are talking about wanting to protect their little children and to shield them from the reality of what is going on in the world. Yes it would be wonderful to shield them but honestly you are kidding yourselves. Kids talk, your children will find out. You are doing them no favours by keeping things from them. Much better to talk to them about it in an age appropriate way to make sure they understand. And also don't lie to them. You can tell them that the police are doing a lot to make us safe.

The OP had talked about it at home and her dd was in some ways aware about it.
The school clearly talked about it in such way that she felt it could happen to her and was now a real threat to her.
That tells me that the way it was handled at school was probably not the right one.

Re protecting kids... My dcs are much older (Y6 and 8). However, I would not let them watch the news the way they are nowadays.
In cases like the one if Paris, these are usually completely unedited images of people dying (or being beheaded etc etc). There is no need to show these very violent images to convey the information.
Yes massacres happen. But adults and children dont need to have them brought into their living room to be aware about them.
Actually, the fact that so many horrors are brought into our homes tend to have the opposite effect, or we become use to these horrors and don't even react to them!!

So I agree with the OP. These are the things that need to be talked about in schools. But images aren't necessary. And it needs to be approached in a way that doesn't scare the children. T also Gould a way for schools to redress the balance sometimes. I'm sure that in some families, so e pretty shocking things will far been said about muslims. Or how French people were just looking for it.
That should be part of the role of school. But not at that age. I would wait until the children are st least K2.

5 is too young to do this without parents being consulted. At my school, the eldest (10/11) stood for a minute's silence but the younger ones carried on as usual. This is too sensitive an issue and parents know what their children are able to hear and deal with, not schools,

If they were only up to year 2 there was probably no need.

I am just surprised that anyone managed to keep all news off and didn't mention the topic when on the phone to someone. And while I appreciate that many 5 yr old are the only, or the eldest, it is equally common to be the youngest- I was not an oddity having a child at secondary and one in the infants!

I am all for shielding them but you do need to answer questions honestly. When my 4 yr old started school I made sure that everyone, including his 4 yr old friends, knew that his father had died. It wasn't fair on DS for children not to understand that this can happen. They take it in their stride and are quite open in asking questions- it is the adults who cringe and try to change the subject.

I am not convinced that parents always know what their children overhear.

None of us can possibly know what they overhear. At school, at friends' houses.

It isn't possible to entirely control.

And not all children are going to say what they overhear.

I was told in the playground that there was no Father Christmas - I didn't mention it to my parents so they wouldn't have had a clue. I doubt I would have said anything had they asked.

Of course they are not, but I am about 80% sure that if my 5 yr old had been told about it in assembly he wouldn't have told me about it.

I doubt 4-6 year olds would be talking about this in the playground. I wouldn't want a 5 year old to watch newsround or be told anything about the attacks. I'd rather another child said something than a teacher. It easier to play down what their friend told them than a teacher or a news clip! My 12 year old was upset enough I wouldn't tell a 5yo.

We go around in circles. I have spent hours and hours on playground duty, I know what playgrounds are like! .
The teacher was playing down what they might have got from other children!

Today was parents evening for my 7yo, who had been shown the Newsround piece in class. I asked the teacher what they'd done.

She said she would have preferred not to bring it up at all, but once she'd been notified that they'd be having a minute's silence in assembly she felt her y3 class needed a bit of preparation.

Reception DC2 was oblivious.