to be annoyed the school showed a video about the Paris attacks?

[DancingLady]

DD is 5, and in assembly today the children were shown a short video about the Paris attacks. Might have been the Newsround one - from what I've read, it sounds similar. I asked her for context (did the HM talk about the attacks before or after the clip?) and she said she didn't know. I'm a bit baffled as to why a school would feel it was their place to show a load of 4, 5 and 6-year-olds (it's a new school with only reception-year 2) this.

We've talked to DD about what happened - she saw we were upset on Saturday and while we didn't have the TV on DH and I discussed it a bit and answered her questions. Tonight at bedtime she was scared and worried.

Would you mention this to the HM or your child's teacher? I don't think it's a school's place to show this to children - not such small ones, anyway.

I suppose I'm also worried that my son did see the footage and we spoke about in detail, he could then become the child at school telling all the other children.

My 8 Year old son and 4 year old DD 'do' go to a big (900 pupils) city school- nobody spoke of it yesterday.

Ds is 8yo. They're doing Islam in RE this year. We had a note sent home from school a few weeks ago because the teacher introduced this subject and asked if any of them knew anything about Islam.
The response from a fair number of them was to ask about Islamic State militants.

She had to adapt her lesson hurriedly and do some careful explaining. We got a letter letting us know this had happened in case they came home with questions.

So I think you'll find that a lot of the children are aware and yes, they'll talk about it, probably much worse in both accuracy and detail than the school will have given.

I haven't the foggiest what my dcs discuss on the playground in their tiny rural school but I will not be burdening them with this at 7 and 4 unless they bring it up.
The fact that children in other countries are not lucky enough to be so shielded is a nonsense argument - should I stop feeding them because other children go hungry?

I never shielded my children from news events such as this.

The eldest were 6 and 3 at the time of the 9/11 attacks and I had it on live TV as it was happening. DD1 also said it was on in the classrooms in school too.

My DD1 is now a student working as a teaching assistant on a year abroad in Paris. One of the schools she is based at is a stone's throw from the Stade de France. No choice for some of those children but to know about what was happening. Age appropriate as far as possible, but it was impossible for them to hear and see nothing.

I would have no issues with Newsround footage being shown. Surely it is aimed at children anyway. It would have been edited to make it age appropriate.

I don't advocate scaring children unnecessarily, but certainly I never shrouded mine in cotton wool. I never saw the point and still don't.

Ok, so because some children are being traumatised with this knowledge in France, all our children have to be traumatised?

My personal point of view when I was bringing my dd up was that I wanted her to be well-grounded in how beautiful the world and life is before letting her know about the seamier side of things. Children don't even have a concept of death at 4.

And sometimes I wonder what the purpose of being well-informed about news is? Everyone was so well-informed about the needlessness of the Iraq war that they attended some of the biggest demonstrations in the history of the UK, but did the government take one blind bit of notice?

I would be cross if it was discussed in my five year olds class. She really struggles with anxiety and this would be to much for her to deal with.

I don't see the need at this point to force it on young children.

In the city I live in, we've had two very high profile murders in the last two years. It's been inescapable in the city. But the level of detail some very young children know and spout off about is too much. Parents should be more careful what they are chatting about in front of young ones. I don't want my three year old coming home to ask about murder and setting people on fire. Then spending the rest of the year frightened of the child in her class who kept threatening to stab her.

Who the fuck said all children have to be traumatised? Utter bollocks.

I wouldn't hide what is on the news, that is all I say. I see no point in doing that at all.

Newsround is aimed at children. No problem at all.

Some children have to have a concept of death at 4yrs- they have to deal with the death of a parent.
I am not saying that all children should therefore be forced to confront it, but I don't think that you can be so sure that your children didn't hear about it in the playground. At 5yrs I wouldn't have told my parents if I had heard anything.
I am not sure what you want school staff to do if your child asks questions and is upset- I can't see how pretending it didn't happen is helpful.

Newsround is aimed at children 6+. www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/13927399

I am not keen on children being taught about this at school. As far as I am aware, my children are blissfully ignorant about it all. And so they should be as they are only little- what good can come of telling children this?

However, my biggest gripe is that if schools do want to take it upon themselves to tell children about things that can upset them (terrorist attacks, holocaust etc) then they should inform the parents that they have told them so that when their children are upset at bedtime, the parents can understand why (because small children re-tell things in the most random ways) and be able to talk with them about it. Instead, children have these assemblies and are left to mull over their randomly remembered horror with confused parents.

I would be very surprised if a 5 year old doesn't hear somehow that something really bad happened. I would rather explain to them in an age appropriate manner than have them hear things from other people. MIL came round the day after the attacks and the first thing that was mentioned was Paris. I find it hard to believe that most young children won't hear about it from someone anyway. There will be talk about it on the playground so I would rather get in there first.

My 6 and 8 year old were not told about it at school, it hasn't been mentioned which surprised me. I expected that the school would have talked about it, just like they did on Remembrance Day. I actually find it quite disrespectful that the Paris attacks were not mentioned.

I was reading a status from my young teen about the attacks on Paris and some of the fear mongering and misinformation was quite scary. My son is petrified and we live in a place that is very unlikely to be attacked. Unfortunately there has been so much talk about it on FB from people who don't really understand which has lead him to be more fearful than he needs to be. A lot of them will have younger siblings who will hear things who will then go on to mention it in the playground.

I would love to be able to protect my children from the evils of the world, but it's just not possible and I think not discussing things like this with young children who will hear about it anyway is likely to cause them much more fear.

YANBU. I think it's totally inappropriate to discuss such news items with a 5/6/7 yr old.

11 plus is fine but definitely not any younger.

Learning about the unpleasant stuff at a young age isn't going to magically equip them to be more 'successful' as adults but just robs them of a carefree happy childhood.

Fuck that!

It seems a 'bury your head in the sand' attitude to me. Children hear things. What were we supposed to do in schools with 9/11 when children were discussing it and wanted reassurance? Pretend they didn't hear and leave them upset all day? To my mind it was better to discuss it than have more frightening discussions going around the playground. Sensitive children may never have told their parents what they had heard.

Children get most scared when they feel adults are not honest with them or hide something from them

People are assuming that all 5 yr olds have a home and conditions like theirs and don't hear anything. The reality is that lots have teenage siblings or at least junior age, parents who don't think they overhear conversations, have TVs on as background etc- furthermore that no one in the playground is going to know anything. That is not reality. Schools deal with the reality and if you have children asking questions you answer them in an age appropriate way.

With 9/11 I don't think that the Head had any plan in the morning,but it became obvious that something had to be said- there were a lot of worried children. She had each class teacher tackle it, which was probably better because it is different for a 5 yr old and an 11yr old. I felt quite capable of doing it, having had to explain death to my 2 yr old when he had no father, and being used to discussing it with curious small children- however I don't think that I could have done it as a 22yr old teacher which is perhaps why the Head, in this case, took the whole school approach.

I just think that you are being incredibly naive to think that all 4/5 yr old are sheltered from it. As clear on here some parents feel it better to be open. Children often have TVs in tnei bedrooms (a huge mistake IMO) - have the Internet . Many 5 yr old will have much older siblings that will be asking parents questions- it is remarkable how much young children take in when you don't think they are. The Head obviously felt that some balance was needed for reassurance. Had the Head been confident that all children were completely in ignorance there would be no need to say anything- schools however deal with reality.

My 11 year old and nine year old were talking about it at breakfast time.
So my six year old knows all about it. She doesn't seem traumatised.

I was just reassuring - acknowledged it was a frightening thing, but that it wouldn't happen to them because there were a lot if people working all day and all night to make sure it doesn't happens

The children in Paris have had no choice in knowing what has happened.

Some children watch their parents blow their own brains out. I don't think that's an excuse to show children shotgun wounds to the head, or tell them that some parents kill themselves.

You don't need to tell a child that terrorists attacked a theater and executed hostages one by one. Until the event is more removed and the dust has settled a bit, it should be up to the parents how they talk to their children about it.

Those kids in Paris you speak of are probably anxious about school or travel right now. Why would you want to distress more children simply because others are distressed?

Maybe it is better to hear about it from a teacher in an age-appropriate manner and get reassurance than just have the rumors on the playground. It is a hard issue though. I agree with the poster who said it should be tackled by the class teacher than in a whole school assembly.

I think it is completely unnecessary to discuss any of these events with a 5 year old. I would be fuming.

Newsround is not aimed at 4 year olds. My DD has watched the Clangers tonight not Newsround. The 'point' of not showing her this is that it is completely unnecessary and exposing her to something that is beyond her years. If it's aimed at 6 minimum then she is viewing something age inappropriate, it's premature viewing and I want her to enjoy her age not steal two years of innocence from her. My DS is 8.5 and I will occupy DD with a game or toy if he wants to watch something like The Dumping Ground and that's only drama. There's plenty of time to view this stuff so why accelerate it. It's best IME to only deal with what comes up at this age.

I don't agree that purposefully bringing the subject of the Paris attacks up is necessary. My 4 year old has not mentioned it once and I very much doubt that she believes I'm hiding something from her.

We live in a world where so many children are suffering from anxiety and stress. I really don't think it is the school's place to be adding to that anxiety. If there were rumours in the playground, I would prefer that my children then asked me or a teacher about what was being said, and that we then explained in age-appropriate ways - why pre-empt this?

But really wanted to post a link to three lovely audio stories for children to process this kind of news when they do hear it:

www.sparklestories.com/blog/2015/11/14/support-children-face-terrorist-attacks-paris/
Sorry! Can't work out how to make it clicky on the app now!

I agree with you op. News round is not produced for 5 year olds. DD's school spoke about it (Y4) but DS is still in infants and did not. I think that's an appropriate demarcation.