to be annoyed the school showed a video about the Paris attacks?

[DancingLady]

DD is 5, and in assembly today the children were shown a short video about the Paris attacks. Might have been the Newsround one - from what I've read, it sounds similar. I asked her for context (did the HM talk about the attacks before or after the clip?) and she said she didn't know. I'm a bit baffled as to why a school would feel it was their place to show a load of 4, 5 and 6-year-olds (it's a new school with only reception-year 2) this.

We've talked to DD about what happened - she saw we were upset on Saturday and while we didn't have the TV on DH and I discussed it a bit and answered her questions. Tonight at bedtime she was scared and worried.

Would you mention this to the HM or your child's teacher? I don't think it's a school's place to show this to children - not such small ones, anyway.

My children were almost 5 and almost 7 when 9/11 happened. We didn't shield them from it, they watched it on mainstream news. We've never shielded them from anything. In our opinion it's very important for children to know what is going on in the world.

You'd be surprised what children talk about at school. Someone would have said something and she'd have found out about it which is why these things should be talked about at home.

And, I'd just like to say Remembrance Day is not in the past, 2 RAF personel were killed in Afghanistan on 12th October. It's still very much in the present.

Thanks for that link Mrs Hathaway.

The British education system never ceases to fascinate me.

Asking six-year-olds to do a low-stress phonics test that only takes a few minutes = "Oh my GOD!!! Our children are the most STRESSED in the world! This is putting so much pressure on them and causing them psychological problems! Don't you know that this is the reason why so many of them end up cutting themselves with razor blades as teenagers?"

Showing six-year-olds a violent bit of film footage involving mass murder = Absolutely A-O.K. You don't need to SHIELD kids, doncherknow?

We live in France (not near Paris) and I have 2 dc 9 and 5.

It was discussed I believe in some detail at school for both. Due to the increased terror threat France is facing there will be changes in the lives of my dc. I believe the school handled it well.

They talked about the tragedy, about what is happening, about being safe and what the children will notice - school locked during school hours, cancelling of any unsecured outdoor events or large gatherings. What it is still safe to do for example indoor sporting events etc.

I would prefer my children did not hear any of this but that is because this is not a world i would want my children to have to live in. But they do and are.

However, my children are fine. No fear or nightmares just like the rest of us sad and confused that this is happening.

We cannot shield our children (although I wish we could) so I think better that they are educated, informed and reassured that they are being protected to the very best of our abilities.

I deliberately didn't have the news or radio on all weekend within earshot of my 5 yr old. I'd be livid that an assembly with video footage was held without some forewarning to parents. Video footage is frankly going to make it all considerably more real and scary to any age group.

She's still v upset at discovering that people abandon animals at / after Christmas and that's why Santa doesn't bring animals as gifts. We have two rescue cats and while she came to the shelter with us, she is only now making the connection and was pretty emotional about it.

I have no qualms about shielding her from the global situation.

I really like that link too MrsHathaway. Our kids can handle this.

YANBU, my Dad was very keen for us to 'know' about all sorts of atrocities, conflicts and 'real life'. I don't know if he was 'age appropriate', he certainly thought it was best for us to know 'the truth'. I have to disagree as it overshadowed my childhood. I 'did' have nightmares and generally felt overwhelmed and powerless in having this information. I was very depressed as a child and teenager and certainly think this in some way contributed to that. OTOH, my brother is a much more pragmatic person and didn't receive the information in the same way. That to me highlights the problem with sharing details of the 'news'- how it's received entirely depends on the personality of the child therefore unless it's necessary why bother?

My 8.5 year old is a football fan so was asking questions on Saturday. He also will be watching the Newsround article today at school. I think that it may help him but he is very sensitive and asked me if we were going to be 'bombed' as he was going to sleep on Saturday night. Frankly, I dress up the truth as he is just like me and I don't want these years of 'childhood' ruined by fear. I said that it won't happen here as we have a channel between us.

I will be very upset if my 4 year old is shown the same news article. She is four, I do think she is 'precious' and all she should know is joy and happiness, teddies, Happyland and Peter Rabbit!

I'm not sure about video footage (depends on exactly what it was), but I do think that you shouldn't always shield a child, rather explain and reassure. For one thing, the children would have been talking about it themselves in break anyway because some would be aware, so better for the adults to control that to some extent. Also, it prevents misunderstandings. Small anecdote from my childhood to illustrate (sorry, not trying to make this about me, but I think it's relevant):

When I was 4/5, my mother's job made us very slightly at risk from the IRA planting a bomb in the car. Therefore, whenever we went to various places officially, the car was swept for bombs. No one had explained what was going on to us, so that we wouldn't worry, though it was obvious what the police were checking for. I didn't know about the IRA, but I'd definitely heard of Guy Fawkes, so I always believed if a bomb had been found, my parents would be taken to prison and I'd never see them again. The fear was still there, because it hadn't been explained in an age appropriate way.

Her favourite book is Bambi at the moment and keeps asking me who 'man' is, when they refer to 'man' hunting and killing. She is shocked that any human would want to kill an animal. Given that it is hard enough to explain this, It is not possible to talk about Paris in a context that she can understand and it is completely unnecessary.

I would be really pissed off about this. My 5 year old is very sensitive and this would terrify him for months afterwards. He is a child. His childhood should be as worry free and innocent as possible for as long as possible.

Where do you draw the line? It's ok to tell 5 year olds about terrorist attacks, so is it ok to discuss high profile murder cases when they're on the news? What about child abuse cases when they're headline news?

I have absolutely no problem shielding him for things like this until he is significantly older. I don't believe any other child will tell him all the gory details in the playground but if that ever does happen I'll deal with it as best I can. I won't be showing video footage that's for sure.

I don't believe any other child will tell him all the gory details in the playground

That is very naive. I hope you have a more proactive approach to sex.

They do tell, the child I referred to in an earlier post had had another child coming up to them and saying that everyone is going to be bombed. That is why the conversation started. The children involved were 8 years old.

It's a fair point about other children having to deal with this topic and similar ones - but it HAS to be tackled in Paris to try to minimise the trauma.

Similarly children during WW2 HAD to deal with the reality of the time - but that wasn't without its effects; my Dad (who was a child during the war) said it takes very little mental effort to summon up the absolute helpless panic during an air raid and the general feeling of insecurity during the war. Other people I've heard about were left with long-term trauma from seeing disembodied legs and arms during the Blitz - but it was expected that everyone would have a stiff upper lip and not talk about it, so all this was left to fester inside.

My Dad dealt with the war because he had to, but has said he is profoundly grateful his children and grandchildren have grown up in an era of far greater safety and security and without rationing. And despite his childhood he has still found the news from Paris extremely difficult to cope with.

There are things I think my five-year-old DS HAS to deal with right now, like death. Equally there are things I wouldn't dream of telling him about, like rape and torture and child abuse. In between is a spectrum, and I'm not sure where the Paris attacks sit on that spectrum.

As PP have said all children are different - some will be fine with a rational, reassuring explanation, and some will still be terrified. Unfortunately schools have to make a blanket decision, but in an ideal world we'd tailor the information we give our children to their personality.

Sorry, that should have read - There are things I think my five-year-old DS HAS to deal with right now, like the concept of death.

TheComforter I live in a tiny village in the Peak District, I'm pretty secure in my assumption that the other 15 children in DS class won't be telling him about the attacks. Nothing was mentioned yesterday. Not a word. I'd be surprised if anything was mentioned today, or any other day.

The sex conversation isn't top of my agenda this week either, although we are very open and will answer any questions he has. I don't believe they're showing explicit videos in assembly in year one either. That was a weak comparison.

Answer any questions he has when he has them*. We didn't tell him the stalk brought his baby sister, we explained it in an age appropriate way. He wasn't that interested.

Bif, I respectfully disagree.

That's fine, lets stop the name calling and little digs then shall we?

I think you're right to be annoyed that the school did the assembly but no follow up. I remember unable to sleep at night because I was terrified about being blown up by the IRA. With news on a loop and the Internet I can imagine some children being scared even more than I was.

I'm shocked that there was any need to show footage like people running away or gunfire. Showing all the buildings around the world lit up in tricolore was surely the best sort of hopeful imagery that we could show kids?

If the lit up buildings had been shown instead of footage of the attacks my opinion may well be different stompy.

That would have been an ideal way to prompt a discussion that could have been continued at home.

Bits even tiny Derbyshire villages with small schools deal with all kinds of issues. I live in a tiny Derbyshire village myself. We are not cut off from the world and kids ask questions and talk to each other. It never fails to surprise me how parents find this so hard to believe.

No think it's too young at 5 to see video footage.

That footage upset out whole family and my youngest is 16. Of course it was horrific.

Ffs at 5 let's still shield.

I don't find it hard to believe, my point was there little chance of his pals telling him in the playground. I would be more concerned if we lived in a big city and he attended a large school with lots of children, obviously the chances of him being told by another would be much higher then.

I also said that if another child did mention anything at school, which they haven't so far, I'd deal with it as best I could.

I'm not going to tell him about the attacks on Friday, and I'm definitely not going to show him footage, on the small chance that someone else may tell him while at school. I respect others feel differently, I'm not sure what the big issue is about my post?

No issue really. I think I was just thinking on the back of this post what is the best way to handle this in schools. We are all desperately trying to make sense of it ourselves and if a child asks a question how do we answer it?

I really have no idea. I'm hoping it's a conversation I don't have to have yet, but if I do all I can really think to say is that there are bad people in the world as well as good, and that I still believe the good outweighs the bad.

You're right, I can't begin to understand it myself so I've no idea how best to explain it to a child.

The link another poster out up with the little boy and his dad was lovely, and is worth a watch.