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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep her

66 replies

Ifoundacatnowwhat · 15/11/2015 22:21

This afternoon I have taken the children to see the ex at his house.

Shortly before we were going out a young cat walked into the kitchen. Surprising as there's no houses close by, very rural. There's a farm across the road where there's a lot of ferral cats but they run when they see humsns.
She was instantly chased out by the dog and the ex walked outside and kicked her several times to get her to run off. Since then she has followed me whenever I've walked outside, got into my car several times, thrown herself at the back door trying to get in and sat outside and cried. I'm worried if I walk away tomorrow that she'll continue to try to get in and the ex is really hateful to cats. Wibu to take her to a vets tomorrow and keep her if she's unchipped? There no local missing cats on Facebook, I have checked.

OP posts:
Chocolateteabag · 15/11/2015 22:24

Ask at the farm in case she is actually one of theirs?
But assuming she's not chipped then no YANBU in my view.

Supermanspants · 15/11/2015 22:25

I would be reporting your ex to the RSPCA. . . What an absolute shithead

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/11/2015 22:25

Not unreasonable at all. That poor thing needs help and has chosen you to help her. Good luck.

(Please give the ex a kick from me - thanks.)

Glitzy75 · 15/11/2015 22:27

I am glad the pig is your ex!

shutupanddance · 15/11/2015 22:28

Yes good plan and Im glas hes your ex

potap123 · 15/11/2015 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Ifoundacatnowwhat · 15/11/2015 22:43

I've told the ex I don't want to see him behave like that again in front of the children. I don't fully trust him so I always supervise access. I left him for being an abusive wankstain and it would seem nothing's changed! (He hates cats as he got badly scratched as s child after trying to flush it down the loo)

She's a really beautiful cat, Siamese shape face, mostly white and with a small patch of tabby. She's also extremely friendly and has so far this evening thrown herself against the door glass 4 feet up at least half a dozen times. She really is behaving like a cherished housecat. Farm a cross the road doesn't actually have anyone living there, owner just comes up once a day to feed the animals.

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 15/11/2015 22:49

If he's cruel to animals I wouldn't leave the kids with him. Yes, keep her and don't let your ex get away with such cowardly behaviour. I would never trust someone who would be cruel to a weaker, more vulnerable creature who can't report them or fight back. What a cunt.

Chocolateteabag · 15/11/2015 22:50

I think she has chosen you then!

acatcalledjohn · 15/11/2015 23:10

He has an issue with cats because he got scratched by one when trying to flush it down the toilet?

Hmm

Obviously he wasn't at the front of the queue when common sense, decency and respect were handed out.

OnTheEdgeToday · 15/11/2015 23:16

I would take her to the vets to see if she is chipped, if not - id keep her and advertise her as a lost kitty. If no one comes forward then keep her.
Someone stole my cat, he wasnt chipped but they took him to he vets to check. They put a paper collar on him with their number - i called instantly and explained he was a well loved cat and he was 11. They argued this and said the vet said by his teeth he is about 3. I had him since he was 14 weeks old, i know how old my cat is.
I told them to stop feeding him etc.
They didnt, he gradually stopped coming to my house. We were gutted.

honeyroar · 15/11/2015 23:23

Try and find the owner first. Ask a vet to scan, call at the farm, and if not keep her.

And give your ex a huge kick in the goolies on her behalf, what a huge asshole.

TheoriginalLEM · 15/11/2015 23:25

your ex is a psychopath! id leave my children with him over my dead body.
as for the cat - take her home and try to fond owner.

winkywinkola · 15/11/2015 23:28

Your ex is a total wank stain for treating anything like that.

I'm surprised you even let him near your property. Do you really feel safe with him around and him alone with your dcs?

He tried to flush a cat down the loo as a child? Is that correct? Ah well. You choose to associate with lunatics.

Keep the cat. Hopefully she will scratch his eyes out. She will be a far nicer and loyal companion than your utter prick of an ex.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 15/11/2015 23:30

Anyone who kicks a cat is a cunt

Poor cat Sad

Jux · 15/11/2015 23:40

Check out that chip. With luck you've just been adopted Grin

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 15/11/2015 23:46

Yup, I think you've been picked OP.

Cat sounds gorgeous, how do you know it's a she?

I think kicking your ex is too gentle. Have you got a cricket bat handy?

(not really, but makes my blood boil, fucker)

ReginaBlitz · 16/11/2015 00:38

I've not rtft as to shocked at first post, you all sound unhinged. Why the fuck are you letting a sick fuck who kicks a defenceless animal anywhere near your kids? And then you want to adopt the poor fucking cat putting it at even more risk. Phone the rspca let them get the cat and get your twat of an ex arrested.

Epilepsyhelp · 16/11/2015 00:42

The RSPCA will probably get it put down and how would OP adopting it get it hurt given that she doesn't live with ex?

OP please take the cat, it could get seriously hurt if you leave it around such a complete and utter shit.

lexigrey · 16/11/2015 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VestalVirgin · 16/11/2015 00:49

Regina, you may not know, but there are actual laws, forcing women to let sick fucks like this near their kids.

@OP
Keep the cat. Of course take her to the vet and get her treated for parasites and stuff, but that goes without saying.

HarlequinandColumbine · 16/11/2015 02:30

Your ex has the personality traits of a psychopath/ serial killer who kills tortures or harms animals when young for their own pleasure ? It's NOT normal behaviour to kick a cat like that he shows 0 empathy. Honestly ? Who does that ?
As for the cat same as everyone else has said get it checked out at the vets Have you took a photo and posted it on Facebook or just looked at missing pets page? Good luck

AcrossthePond55 · 16/11/2015 02:58

Take the little thing. It's quite possible that this was her 'home' at one time and she's turned up there. Or she's from the farm and they aren't feeding her to get rid of her. One thing's for certain, she'll keep showing up at your ex's.

And don't discount the possibility of her being feral. We're out in the country and have had any number of feral cats who, for reasons of their own, have 'adopted' us and become quite tame.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that subhuman piece of shit in your life.

Senpai · 16/11/2015 03:07

He hates cats as he got badly scratched as s child after trying to flush it down the loo

I've been bitten and scratched by all manner of animals. Mostly because I don't read their body language cues correctly and as a child I didn't understand when I was being too rough until they bit. I would never harm an animal like that.

My father was viciously attacked by a cat because his friends didn't socialize it correctly and not once did he strike at it or wish it ill will.

So hating cats because "they bit me" isn't an excuse. I know you're not excusing it, I'm just venting about his excuse. Wink

Anyway, personally, as I am not a cat person in the slightest would take it home, bring it to a vet to check for chips, and then relinquish it to a no kill shelter if none of my friends wanted it. I would worry about leaving it there.

We have a feral cat in our back yard that hangs around since DD leaves crumbs everywhere which attracts squirrels and birds, which is easy food for the feral cats here in the mornings. Ah the circle of life.

Dontbesilly · 16/11/2015 10:34

Your ex sounds delightful!!!

Kicking cats is not on. I would kick your ex!

Please whatever you decide to do keep the cat away from that man he sounds unhinged.