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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hurt he only takes snapchats with her?

142 replies

lifetimeoflaughter · 13/11/2015 22:59

Whenever we go out as a group of friends, there is one guy (who I would consider pretty much a best friend) and he will always take a snapchat with the same woman.

Se is very pretty.

He does it as hes a player and wants to make other women jealous.

He never takes one with me.

I'm definitely your plan jane type of girl.

Just makes me feel pretty shit.

Aibu?

(yes pathetic I know)

OP posts:
Trills · 14/11/2015 10:15

Pictures with her = him saying I am so awesome, are you jealous because this girl I am sat with is so hot

He doesn't exactly sound like someone I'd want to spend time with.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 14/11/2015 10:17

I think you may be possibly deluding yourself as to your feelings towards this man.

^ This has pretty much hit the nail on the head I think.

Enjolrass · 14/11/2015 10:18

He doesn't exactly sound like someone I'd want to spend time with.

Exactly! He sounds like a tool and I wouldn't want to be either woman in this.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/11/2015 10:18

I think the OP is possibly trying to minimise her feelings for this guy, because she knows that he's not interested, and it's come out as a blend of her being jealous of the prettier girls that get his attention, and scornful of his personality.

Original poster
lifetimeoflaughter · 14/11/2015 11:02

I think you may be possibly deluding yourself as to your feelings towards this man.

^ This has pretty much hit the nail on the head I think

When I'm gay? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
lifetimeoflaughter · 14/11/2015 11:07

scornful of his personality

Not at all.

Why the fuck would i be friends with anyone if I was scornful of their personality?

I have no problem with cutting anyone out of my life.

He does have a lot of good qualities too, hence why we are close friends.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/11/2015 11:12

So you've got the hump because he finds someone prettier than you?

Is that too simple a summary?

Sorry but I'm still unclear as to what the problem is.

Original poster
lifetimeoflaughter · 14/11/2015 11:12

This is typical Mumsnet though, stating things like facts when none of you know anyone involved.

Doesn't matter that I tell you I've never fancied him - because apparently you all know me better than I know myself.

OP posts:
JoySzasz · 14/11/2015 11:15

Do you like the girl then? Wink

Enjolrass · 14/11/2015 11:17

So you don't fancy him at all?

Still sounds like you jealous. You can be jealous without fancying someone.

It sounds like you are jealous of their friendship.

He may or may not fancy her. Her going out with his friend Is irrelevant. He may still fancy her even though she isn't single. No harm in that. The harm comes about from him pursuing it.

You don't know if he fancies her, like you don't know his motivations regarding snap chat. Even though you believe you do.

IoraRua · 14/11/2015 11:21

I really can't see what has you so pissed off here. The other women are well capable of minding their own emotions, seeing a pretty girl and a guy you're into in a snap is a nothing of a problem.

It's his snapchat, it's not hurting anyone. Who cares?

molyholy · 14/11/2015 11:26

You're pissed off because you think he finds a good looking person more attractive than you? Very odd.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 14/11/2015 11:28

If you don't fancy him (and never have) why do you care whether he finds you attractive or not?

Original poster
lifetimeoflaughter · 14/11/2015 11:29

He may or may not fancy her. Her going out with his friend Is irrelevant. He may still fancy her even though she isn't single. No harm in that. The harm comes about from him pursuing it.

No she has a boyfriend AND is sleeping with one of his closest friends.

He's also seeing someone (very recently) and he seems very happy.

But only about 5% of you actually understand what I'm saying .... the rest of you don't have a clue. Its embarrassing the bullshit you are sprouting.

Especially the homophobic comment as well.

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 14/11/2015 11:32

What homophobic comment?

And so what if she is sleeping with half the town? Or if he has a gf?

He may still fancy her. Not ideal, but that doesn't make it not true.

What is the actual problem here because most of us are confused.

You have a problem that, you think, he finds her more attractive than he does you and takes selfies with her for his own social media platform.

If you can verbalise why this bothers you maybe it would help us.

Sallyingforth · 14/11/2015 11:33

Just another example of kids being obsessed with social media instead of real life.

Next time you go out with 'friends', turn your phone off and ask them to do the same.

Chippednailvarnish · 14/11/2015 11:34

You're right it is embarrassing, you and your friends sound about 12.

WorraLiberty · 14/11/2015 11:34

Errm I think I'd feel pretty embarrassed if I started a thread and explained myself so badly, that only 5% of people understood what I was saying.

You keep trying, but it's like pulling teeth to be fair.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 14/11/2015 11:34

Homophobic comment? Confused

Your reaction to this 'scenario' is the embarrassing thing here op.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 14/11/2015 11:35

The only person embarrassing themselves is you, OP. You are, for some unknown reason, annoyed at a grown up taking pictures of himself with another grown up instead of with you.

Why the hell does it matter? If he's such a good friend, surely that friendship comes before your looks? At least, I would hope it does.

Original poster
lifetimeoflaughter · 14/11/2015 11:38

What is the actual problem here because most of us are confused.

Sorry most of you are too thick to understand.

You'd rather turn it into something else that doesn't even make sense Confused

Enjoy this thread, because I'm going out for the day now.

I doubt any of you remember the last time you went out, aside from the weekly trip to Morrisons.

OP posts:
LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 14/11/2015 11:38

So you've got the hump because he finds someone prettier than you?

Is that too simple a summary?

Sorry but I'm still unclear as to what the problem is.

Yes, exactly! If you really don't fancy him then either it IS this, or it IS that you are scornful of aspects of his personality. What else is left? Confused

IoraRua · 14/11/2015 11:39

You sound very young and this is a bit pathetic OP.
To recap: he uses her as some sort of trophy for snapchat. She seems happy with this. You are unhappy because you're less attractive and feeling a bit neglected.

Really, this is one of those things where you need to give your head a wobble, think 'fuck that, it's a bit sad' and move on.

UnGoogleable · 14/11/2015 11:41

I think you're mistaken OP

Snapchat leaves the picture up for up to 10 seconds, not 24 hours. See I don't even get out to Morissons on a weekly trip, but I am able to Google.

Enjolrass · 14/11/2015 11:42

Ah resorting to insults?

Not very mature behaviour.

Enjoy your day! I have to go to morrisons for some site seeing Confused

Got to get out and entertain myself!