Ways in which your life has *NOT* been destroyed since having children.

[Sortedforcheeseandwizz]

Are there any?! Can anyone tell me one thing that makes life with children better/happier/nicer than life before? (Or more than one, if you’re feeling particularly chipper today..)

Doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful, can be anything, big or small!

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable. (Some big decisions ahead and having a wobble…)

the grandchild you get 28 years layer :)

Fab thread.

For me it's the sparkly stickers- those ones with the really fine greeny/pink glitter. They fill me with a deep sense of joy presumably to do with wanting to possess ALL THE STICKERS as a child.

Also, I got to buy a lovely tacky snow globe yesterday because DD agreed that it was ace (she's 18 months).

And how hilarious she is. She plays everything for laughs. It's like having a tiny manic comedian on tap. Instant pick-me-up after a crappy day at work.

later

With my serious hat on I can honestly say that nothing in my life has been ruined. My dd is a bright shining star of loveliness, always has been. She makes my life worthwhile and full of love.

On a lighthearted note; sandcastles, Lego and Sylvanian Families, Christmas, Easter eggs and chocolate cornflake cakes.

What a lovely thread to read - my EDD is on Monday and people have been so insensitive with their 'Just you Wait's and 'Get your sleep whilst you can, you'll never sleep again's.

I always say "So there are no positives then? It's all rubbish and not worth it?" and then realise how annoying they've been!

I agree with LurkingOne... Lego Lego and more Lego.
I've even managed to get away with some 'grown up' Lego as a joint project... A Back to the Future Delorean!
Fess up... I'm not alone right?

You can buy tight sparkly clothes and dress like lamb and you will be met with gasps about your AWESOMENESS.

Happy tears, I'd never had happy tears before DD.

Less work, more love, more fun

What's not to like?

I know this is a bit extreme, but I fucking hate people who do nothing but whinge about their hard lives because of their awful kids (when there is nothing especially demanding to be whining about).

Ignore the miserable bastards.

The greatest thing is seeing nature in action and watching a real person - with their own idiosyncrasies, moods, laugh, etc, develop. Just brilliant.

Lots of new friends.

Lots more things to laugh about.

Lots more things to think about.

Cuddles.

Revisiting favourite childhood books.

Mine have grown into teens...

I'm with the same gorgeous husband, but now have two mini versions in my sons.

In the end, after some years, they ask you how your day has been or hold your hand when you are scared of the dentist.

You get to stay working part-time even when they can stay home alone.

You can play all the best board games that take 4 players

You are a family.

Potato - my parents have a sign up in their house that says "grandchildren are your reward for not strangling your kids". They seem happier and younger since having grandchildren and it's made me realise just how much I love them when I see them being silly with my ds.

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable.

Hah! I remember this when I was pregnant. I even got to the point where I was worried I wouldn't love the baby.

Then DD arrived, with her fuzzy little round head and almond eyes. She's not "a baby", she's some kind of magical creature made from pure love, who has had me spellbound since the first time I laid eyes on her. I spend all day with her, take loads of photos of her, and when she goes to bed I look at the pictures and almost want to go pick her up and hug her. (Almost. I'm pretty tired by then.) Every time I think about her, my heart fills up the the brim with joy, and I feel that as long as I get to be with her and DH and we get to see her grow up, everything else is secondary. This doesn't mean I've given up on my career or other dreams, it just means that I've stopped worrying about a lot of things that I used to worry about, and I believe I can handle almost anything as long as I have my family.

I realise that this sounds cheesy as hell (and I probably sound like a boring person) and you won't know how truly amazing it is until you have your own child, but I kind of wish someone had tried to convey this to me when I was in your position. I might have worried less.

I'm not saying it's not hard. Sleep deprivation can drive you a bit crazy, but I also feel like a stronger and better person for having dealt with all that. I've stood at the changing table at 3m, for the sixtieth sleepless night, covered in baby sick, changing the third nappy that night and heard myself say to screaming DD, calmly: 'Don't worry baby. Mummy's got this'. And it's true. Because for her, I can do anything.

Having children is both the hardest and the most amazing thing in the world. You can never love anyone as much as you love your own child and it makes it all worth it

Becoming more assertive

Revisiting things you enjoyed as a child, and doing things you thought were nerdy or boring as a child and realising they are not

When you realise that you created people who are wiser than you

Cuddles - from babies to teenage years

Then making you laugh - from baby to teenage years

Getting an insight into what it's like growing up male

cutting and sticking
playing with glitter
lego
the warm feeling when a little one lisps 'i wuff you mummy' and the even warmer glow when your 16 year old says ' your are the best mummy ever , thankyou for everything' as you finish the 6 hr round drive to look at her new school...
the smugness when your child gets the lead role in the school play ( especially if they beat off the smug mother superiors child !)
christmas
shopping....i love shopping and children need new stuff all the time because unlike me they grow out of their clothes ...

and best of all when they are sleeping and you creep in and look at them and you feel your heart might just burst because they are the best, most clever, pretty, handsome, cute, funny , adorable children ever in the whole world and you ...you clever thing made them !

did i mention the glitter and shopping ???:)

oh and the long conversations about unicorns ...( with the 16 year old !)

it does help that i have girls and i am under girly myself....

I love DH more since I've seen what an amazing Daddy he is.

I get to do stuff like go to Legoland and to farms regularly. I get to play with lego and paint.

Crap at baking? Get your toddler to press the button on the mixer, then present your crap, lumpy baking as "cakes [DC] made for you with a little help from Mummy!" and everyone 'ooh's and 'ahh's at your clever toddler.

Every baby and toddler group you go to, you'll be offered biscuits.

No one outside of the DailyMail offices expects a mother to have a flat stomach, if you do, bonus, if you don't, it's a perfect excuse. (and pushing a buggy is excellent exercise)

Forgotten a bag for the supermarket? not a problem, you can fit a basket full of stuff under your buggy/in the side pockets.

Nothing beats a 2 year old saying "I luff ooo, Mummy." when you've had a crap day, and "Mummy's pretty" is the best compliment ever!

Perfect excuse to not go to any event you can't be arsed with "can't get a babysitter, sorry." or "We're not going to make it tonight, [DC] is ill."

You realise just how unimportant many things you used to worry about really are.

Thinking of answers to 'why' that amuse you in an attempt to satisfy your 3 year olds curiosity
Becoming a patient, selfless version of you
Feeling pride and love like you wouldn't believe
To laugh everyday
To have little adventures; going upstairs is always a race, bath time is different

It's fab. It's also draining! You will never try so hard to do something well and be so unsure that you're doing it right.

I think that dh & I would have had a fab life without dd but the thought of not having her now is hard to fathom.

Nothing has been ruined although things (well, some things) need more planning. We decided not to go abroad with children under 5 as we didn't want the stress. Plenty of our friends do but the type of holidays we like are city breaks and walking which can be done easily in this country until can be arsed to get on aplane.

Sex life is still good, albeit sporadic - we do have 2 preschoolers and I'm 27"weeks pregnant though! Morning sex is a thing of the past though.

Less money and less time to laze about reading the papers on Sunday. But, weekends are a lot more fun as we don't waste them lying in bed! We both feel healthier as we spend more time outdoors and less time eating out and drinking, and infinitely happier.

also my life is better because now i get to be cool ...i was never cool as a teenager but now i can be a cool mummy....
my dress sense has improved ...helped by teenager and her friends...oh yes thats another thing, you get a whole new social life , not just with other mummy friends but as your children get older , their friends too...i love my teenagers friends, and my house and life is full of noise, and laughter and glitter !

I had similar wobble, then had my first child and realised people just talk rubbish.
Improvements to life:

1. you have a new person in your life (that came out of you for goodness sake!) that you love more than yourself and would sacrifice almost anything for. It is a love like no other.
2. While breastfeeding you can sit on the sofa and demand drinks and snacks from anyone who passes without appearing lazy. And also at this time you can read magazines and books which all the moaners tell you you can't do once you have kids.
3. Breastfeeding is a great excuse to get out of boring company ('must go and feed baby in the next room, with my kindle and a chocolate bar, so sorry').
4. You have a ready excuse for any social occasion you don't really fancy.
5. You learn a lot about your own tolerance levels for sleep deprivation, and in the bigger picture, it's not for that long.
6. If the dad is around, you see them in a whole new (positive) light.
7. Moving away from the baby stage, your child will be born with a personality, they will charm you, make you laugh from your belly with their antics, say the cutest and funniest things.
8. You can dress them to look really cute until about age four when they refuse to wear anything but spiderman outfits.
9. You get to play with lego There's loads more!

another - forgotten anything or just couldn't be arsed? Not a problem - "so sorry, had a really bad night with [DC], I've had no sleep." Everyone looks sympathetically at you and understands why you dropped the ball on this one, just don't accidentally mention they've been sleeping through for months...

Mine is mid 30's now & I have the amazing & wonderful bonus of a grandchild.

I'd always hoped to be a grandmother & knew I'd enjoy it but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming rush of love when PFGC was first placed in my arms - almost like having a baby of my own again in terms of emotions.