WIBU to have slapped his face?

[BMW6]

This afternoon a man (mid fifties) in the street said to me "excuse me darlin' but can I tell you you've got really impressive tits"

Without any thought I slapped his face and gave him a raging dressing down - he just stood there stunned looking and mumbled "sorry darlin'" (which enraged me all the more)

I am conflicted - part of me is horrified that I reacted violently, the other part is still fuming and kind of glad I slapped him.

Did I over-react?

but also

I'd have slapped his face too.

He was trying to belittle you by paying a thinly disguised compliment in an attempt to undermine you as a woman.

What a twat, he deserved a slapping.

Good for you for not letting this sort of insulting behaviour going unchecked.

Yabu. You should have knee'd him in the nuts.

As in all things MrsD there are areas that are black and white and areas of grey.

I am not upset that "this dickhead" got slapped either,

I too would rather that people don't hit people, but there are cases IMO (our opinion?) where a slap is an appropriate response.

But I don't believe that the OPs response was proportional.

Depends on the context but from this I'm taking it you're female and you've been out on your own when a male stranger has approached you and made a sexual remark to you. I'm guessing this male was bigger in stature than yourself. Think that situation would be pretty intimidating for some women and I'm guessing he knew that. Also he has made the remark while close enough to grab you, given you slapped him. I'm also willing to place a bet on the fact he's a creep that enjoys intimidating women in public. If that's the way he goes about acting he needs to accept that there are some women out there who will give him a slap. I'd describe the slap as a preemptive strike allowing you to regain control of the situation and walk away, so not unreasonable.

I know what I'm supposed to say here, but instead I'll say - HIGH FIVE

(But not to my face please!)

I hope your story is true. It does sound a little like something a shrivel dicked MRA would make up to harvest comments about 'hypocritical man haters', but if it's true then good on you. All those upset on his behalf, the OP may have just saved your teenage daughter from hearing some of his 'compliments' about their bodies while out alone.

I love you MrsD!

For those saying "but he didn't touch her" he may well have been about to. I'll leave that judgement to the OP but where do you think that conversation was going with him within hand slapping distance? Was he just going to give his admiration and back off to a sensible distance of personal space?

Why does she have to wait to be assaulted to get an entitled, sexually harassing man to out of her personal space?

Maybe he'll give the next woman he verbally harasses enough personal space that she isn't in danger of being touched.

Not wishing to pat someone on the back for reacting violently to a verbal (albeit awful) comment, does not mean anyone is upset on the man's behalf for goodness sake

this is not about others pissing us off

it is about a man who verbally sexually harassed a woman

being pissed off by a passing comment and being harassed are very different

lets not pretend they are not

But the OP was pissed off

So she slapped him, gave him a dressing down and then came here (it seems) to be congratulated.

Yes, he verbally sexually harassed her and that pissed her off.

No-one's pretending any different.

YANBU

the op felt cheap, demeaned and intruded on

and then she felt angered or pissed off

saying you can not go round slapping everyone because they piss you off is undermining what actually happened

someone not saying thank you when you hold open a door for them might piss you off but you have not been left feeling cheap, demeaned and intruded because that would have not been the intent

No you were not being unreasonable. Too many men think they have the right to say whatever shit comes into their heads when a pair of tits hove into view. However, it wasn't legal and could have got you into trouble. Totally bloody justified. I once slapped a man at a bar who felt he had the right to put his hand inside my dress and squeeze my breast. If there'd been an ice pick on the bar he'd have had that instead.

"All those upset on his behalf" I'm not upset on his behalf - he was a creep of the highest order. I can disagree with whacking people without being upset on their behalf.

The OP says: she did not fear violence from him. She acted because of the way his words made her feel.

The way words make anyone feel is not a justification for violence. And it is not a safe way to react. And men will get 'dealt with' if they hit people who insult them. And any 6' male I know would laugh and ignore if a man made an insulting sexual comment at them.

I can understand wanting to take a slap at him, I can actually understand the possibility that I could do the same thing. Stuff happens. But it isn't OK to boast about it. If I was enraged and did this I would be posting to say 'shit, I need to get my rage under control - what would have been a great verbal response?'

I'm having this very argument with my 5 year old at the moment.

That just because Harry told you that nobody likes you and actually you look like a girl it's NOT OK TO HIT HIM.

Why does that change once we're all grown up and out of the playground?

Well I do think you were lucky he didn't go mad and either hit you back or call the police, it's definitely not cool to hit someone however much of a twat they were.

He said something offensive, therefore you would not have been unreasonable to say something back or, if you felt very strongly, report him to the relevant authorities (from what is described I wouldn't in this case, but sometimes, even if it's only words, it warrants reporting).

If someone touches you, I think a slap may be perfectly reasonable, but probably not for a comment, even if it is offensive.

Meh

Good on you.

My only issues is that you put yourself in a dangerous situation as he could have hit you back.

Otherwise good for you. I know logically that hitting anyone is only acceptable in self defence, but...

I know things can't be switched round - I was disagreeing with the poster who said a man would hit another man for something said. I disagree.

In any case I am not interested in whatever strenuous 'what if's are invoked, my belief is that it is not OK to hit someone for something said whoever is doing the saying or listening and whatever they say.

Charlie Hebdo?

I think "fuck off you twat" would've sufficed. No need for anyone to go around smacking people in the street!

really

i am not even sure where to start with the ridiculousness of bringing up Charlie Hebdo

but i shall

a woman reacts because someone is in her space and she is being verbally sexually harassed it was a reaction of that moment

the attack on Charlie Hebdo where 12 people were murdered the attackers took time to plan and it was done to cause panic and harm and to make a statement to the world