I know I'm BU but I can't be the only one - queuing etiquette and personal space issues

[BeverlyGoldberg]

Recently I've become quite annoyed when queuing, I move up, and the personal behind me moves up closely behind me so they are practically dry humping me.

This happened in Boots last week, the queue turned a corner and I was almost sat on the shelves by the time she'd finished rear ending me. It happened again today in Sainsbury's cafe queue, normally I'd expect dinner and a bottle of wine before such close proximity. I felt like asking her if she wanted a bite of my sandwich.

It must be me getting over annoyed by this. I have recently been more of a grumpy bastard than usual, I'm blaming the weather.

Am I alone in BU in not wanting to be dry humped from behind in queues?

I have had a gentleman come and stand in front of me in a lift. He was so close and I said to him

" excuse me but your back is touching my breasts." He moved. There are some people who do it deliberately on trains so they can rub up (if you know what I mean) against a member of the opposite sex with their genitalia. Disgusting.

Where are all these people? This has never happened to me.

Maybe it's regional. I must live in a rude County. TBF people around here are lovely except for the 'no concept of personal space' lot.

I was once standing in a queue to board a flight at an airport, it was quite slow moving. A woman standing behind me stood so close that she I could feel her breath down my neck. It was obvious she wanted me to do the same to the person in front and basically push in or whatever. To give her a hint she was making me uncomfortable, I threw my hair over my shoulder, its medium length, and it caught her in the face. She tutted aggressively at this, but didn't move back, so a few minutes later I did it again. And again. She resorted to sighing and pushed me the third time I did it.

At this point I asked her what her problem was and whether she thought pushing and shoving would get her on the plane any faster. She pushed her horn rimmed glasses down to the bottom of her nose, fixed me with a stare and sighed, loudly and longly, before announcing "you should get a hair cut if you can't stop flicking people with your hair".

We had a bit of an argument. She was bigger than me and obviously thought this gave her the right to push around, but since she was an old bag I didn't agree. The sympathetic looks I got off other people in that queue. I actually said to her "just go in front of me then if youre that desperate, I can't stand being constantly pushed and shoved by you" and she did. The queue then moved off and I saw her pushing and elbowing her way in front of other people too, satisfied in her knowledge that being a grumpy old bag had got her a few places up a line.

I've had this in Lidl a couple of times. While I'm putting my stuff back in the trolley, the person behind comes all the way forward next to me and stands next to the card machine. I just stand there holding my card and waiting for them to back off. Last time, both me and the cashier just waited and started at the woman, and she was getting impatient. So the cashier told her that I can't serve you till this lady has paid. She huffed loudly and backed off. So I turned the machine sideways so I could reach it and blocked her with my body. She had turned it to face me and it was far away (I'm small, so short arms) Silly woman. The woman with her had tried to tell her to back off before but she ignored.

Also while travelling, on the Calais to Dover ferry recently, in the queue for the restaurant. I didn't have a tray because DP standing in front of me had my food on his. I was standing sideways to the thing you rest your trays on, with my hand resting on it.

The man behind me actually put his tray on top of my hand. I told him to move it and he did, reluctantly, only to put his tray back on top of my hand a few moments later. At this point I told him forcibly to move it and to leave me alone, and he started having a go at me for not having any food and taking up space in the line. Very weird. DP intervened at this point and then a member of staff who had been watching actually came over and told him to leave more space.

I've never noticed this in queues tbh. And now I'm worried that I'M the Space Invader. I do generally try to make queues shorter. I hate it when they're halfway down the pasta aisle when they don't,need to be.

I am going to bear this thread in mind next time I'm in a queue. How much space should there be between me and the person in front of me? A large sizes persons-worth?

If the person in front can't turn around without touching you, you are too close.

I'm going to collect something tomorrow which is really popular so the queue is going to a nightmare but thanks to these great suggestions I'll hopefully be able to keep my personal space mine if not I'm going to swing my arms about and if they get in the way tough

A friend of mine downloaded a fart app on her phone. Perhaps you could practice raising an arse cheek while pressing the fart app button? Bet that will get them moving back! You could even give the person behind a friendly smile and blame it on the beans you ate for dinner last night.

I had a bloke standing too behind me in a queue last summer, 'shout talking' into his mobile (all: ''Yeah, yeah! Tell him i'll deal with it once i'm in the office ... How much did you put forward? ... Ha! They'll be sorry ...'' sort of thing)

He was so close his clothes were touching mine - and then as i stepped forward he did too and actually stepped into my flip flop!

FGS

I stumbled as i couldn't move my foot, and turned around tutted and glared in his face. The woman with him apologised and he just kept on yelling into his bloody phone!

Prat.

I have also experienced the queue carry-on, usually in the supermarket. The culprit is almost always an elderly lady. I shall now await accusations of ageism and sexism.

I'm surprised to hear that. I usually think it's impatient men/women in their 20s-40s.

I hate it when I can sense them meet katting and then actually feel them breathing down my neck

Yanbu

Last week i had the 'someone putting their shopping on the conveyer before you've finished putting yours on' thing for the first time. I had loads of shopping. I was aware of them starting to do it out of the corner of my eye while i was doing the in/out dive to the depths of my trolly.

I thought i'd just keep going, robot like, unloading until my shopping filled the space she'd left me, and then straighten up and look shocked to find her stuff in the way. What would happen?

I was actually looking forward to the moment! I thought of MN! ...

... Sadly she spoiled it by suddenly realising what she was doing, apologising profusely, and scooping all her stuff right back out of the way. Bugger!

wilddaughter somebody did that to me this week . Without a word I scrapped her shopping back twice with the divider , she apologised , I just looked at her , she knew what she was doing and expected me to tower my shopping up

In the Holy Space That Is The Queue In Waitrose my DH said to me "Have you got your heels on love?", "Erm, yes." "Could you accidentally step back on the bloke behind me? He's getting annoying now"

I looked at said bloke, who looked down at my feet (I was wearing trainers) he looked up, caught my eye, I smiled, stepped forward... and he stepped back.

DH used to be quite quiet about such stuff, now he usually ropes me into his loud, deliberately PA behaviour

I also hate it on public transport when people wont move to let you off. I was getting off the bus a few weks ago and politely said "excuse me please", to the girl sat next to me. She sighed and moved her leg a tiny fraction. I was in a shit mood so I barged past her and made sure she got a clonk with my mega hand bag. She tutted so I snapped "move then!" ( seriously shit mood, I'm normally very mild mannered).
I always used to sneer at these giant handbags, but they are bloody great, a real crowd control device!

I've had the conveyor belt invader too.

I had a huge trolley full of shopping, had just started unloading it, and a man came along, put the divider on about 10 inches from the end of my stuff and put his shopping on the conveyor.

So I had to just keep loading my stuff on bit by bit as the conveyor moved along. His wife did notice and told him to move it, but he just moved it back by about 3 inches. I kept looking at him and huffing, but it made no difference. Couldn't he see the trolley full of shopping that was right in front of him?

I tend to get stressed at the checkout anyway, so this really stressed me out. The irony is that it took way longer for my shopping to go through that way, bit by bit, than if he'd just bloody let me unload the whole lot. Knob.

As for queuing to get on a plane - I want to say to people 'it's not going to take off any faster if you push and shove you know!'. Or 'it's not leaving without you, chill out people!'

If the person in front can't turn around without touching you, you are too close.

See that seems quite excessive to me, maybe that's why I never notice it. I probably am one of them then, so long as I'm not actually being touched I think it's fine. Sorry everyone!

Ever noticed people in front of you vigorously redoing pony tails, weddings bags or trolley between their and your legs or putting legs back? Maybe they refuse to move forwards ? If not, you're probably fine. If so, leave more room.

No, none of that ever happens to me.

Wedging not wedding. No idea what wedding bags are.

Looks like WhoKnows is right. According to a very quick read on the subject, 'social space' is about 4ft. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_space

I decided not to date a man who couldn't tell when somebody was behind him! It was impossible to explain without sounding like I'd only consider men with eyes on the wrong side of their head but it drove me nuts!