To talk to the school about my dds part in the Christmas play?

[amitho]

Dd is at a lovely primary school, she's really happy there and thriving.

She's in year 5 and the ultimate tomboy. Lives in sports kit and jeans, loves football, being outside etc. She really has no interest in stereotypical girls things (ie the crap that shops sell with glitter and pink etc).

The parts for the xmas play have been given out and she has been cast as the leader of a girls hen night. Apparently they are asking if there is any room at the inn. She has to dance down the aisle to some pop song with a group of smaller girls.

She was really unsure at first but, although I though privately it sounded stupid, I tried to encourage her to do it.

Yesterday a lovely mum to one of the other 'hens' asked me and dd if we should get together and get pink deelyboppers and a pink feather boa

dd almost had a panic attack. She would NOT wear that it would make her upset and uncomfortable.

I am now feeling a bit pissed off that they would even cast her as this part - she'd have been delighted about being an innkeeper or a villager or something fairly innocuous.

The teacher in charge has form for making some, er, strange casting decisions - once casting a very chubby girl as an elephant for example.

I am not really sure what to do. DD is happy to wear a high pony tail and a skirt and that is the extent of it. The skirt won't be pink and she won't really go with the other 'hens'

Complete tangent but I think the Christmas lobster would be very scared now that he or she can be eaten!

My dd doesn't like sparkly pink stuff but realises some time you just have to go with the flow and suck it up for the greater good.
She won't always be able to pick and choos, so great prep for adult life.

They sell lots of hen stuff in poundland, so soon sorted really cheaply.

A hen night in the Nativity? Isnt that a bit......blasphemous? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm a teacher and we have done all sorts of (hilarious, obviously) weird shit with the kids in non religious xmas.productions, but surely the nativity shouldn't be pushed that far? Will they be wearing L plates and brandishing an inflatable penis?!

YABU about the actual not wanting to wear the costume though. Just tell her its acting surely?

Sorry but I think you YABVU.

Firstly speaking as a primary school teacher, allocating parts in a class assembly or play is a total nightmare as you can't seem to please everyone (i.e. parents). If your dd wears school uniform it could be that her teacher is unaware that your dd is a "tomboy". Regardless it is a part in a play for an hour in her life, my kids have played all sorts of parts in productions, some they liked some they didn't.

My dd when in primary was fairly girly, in her end of year production she auditioned for Maid Marion and got the part of Alan. Was she happy initially, no but she sucked it up and loved her part by the end which she played fantastically complete with painted on moustache!

This is a very first world problem that you both need to shrug off IMO.

Something children need to learn is that when they do group things sometimes they don't have the part they want or have to push their comfort zones a bit. Wearing a skirt like she's happy with is cool. If she really doesn't like the pink idea then don't push it. But talking to the teacher isn't necessary.

Think about it from the school's point of view: 60 children, all who need parts, all who need dressing and coordinating and teaching of lines and songs. Whether your dd will wear a pink boa or not is not going to be at the top of their list of things to worry about. If she's wearing a skirt, that will do. They won't care about the pink stuff. The other mum is obviously well into it, but don't worry too much about it yourself. Let her get the stuff if she wants but it doesn't mean your dd will have to wear it.

The most important thing is that no-one forgets their lines / has an accident / the scenery doesn't fall down! Actually, all of those things probably will happen and that's fine too - all part of the comedy aspect of school productions.

(not the having an accident bit - that's not funny...)

What would she wear normally as a 'party outfit'? Whatever it is send her in wearing that.

A hen night is a stupid idea for a Nativity play and I wouldn't stress DD out over it.

I'm all for encouraging children in terms of singing a solo or reading lines but this is completely unnecessary.

It's a bit weird, a hen party in a nativity play.

I'd stick to what the school have asked for, a party outfit and a sash, and leave the other mum to it with whatever she wants to get for her daughter.

Although the items she's suggested aren't exactly that outlandish.

It's a play, play's have costumes. That's the point, you wear things and say things and do things that the character would wear and say and do, and I don't think it would do your DD any harm, especially as you've said you want to push her comfort zones a bit. It's acting in costume, will she not understand that?

Our school Nativity play has aliens in it. I find that a bit weird too. I suspect whoever wrote it had one too many sherries while listening to A Spaceman Came Travelling and thought it would be a great way to explain 20 kids in green t-shirts lurking about at the back because they'd run out of t-towels and so couldn't make them shepherds .

Aliens I could work with but stereotypical sash and deely bopper wearing hen parties are usually associated with bar hopping, L signs and penis themed accessories.

It's just bloody weird

I'm clearly out of my comfort zone. :o

Ooh Hygge we had Christmas with the Aliens a few years back.

All the teachers I know are far too sensible to care what colour skirt any of the children wear, or indeed whether they are in a skirt or trousers, or their exact hair accessories. OP just get her to wear normal party clothes.

My DD played a teacher recently. She was 6, she wears 6 year old's clothes. I didn't try to dress her in grown up, stereotype teacher's clothes (whatever they might be). I just told her to wear her most grown up dress. Job done.

My dd did the aliens one too. I loved it!