This is long – and I’m not sure what info to include (so as not to be accused of drip feeding) or not (so as not to be accused of stealth boasting) so I’ve just put the basic facts. I know I’m going to get flamed for this.
I have a really close friend who I’ve known 15 years who predates my DH by at least 10 years. Over the years typically she has earned a lot less than me ( by about a factor of 8) and when her ex left her she ended up in an IVA – so financially she’s not rolling in it and never will be. She does make some stupid choices what to spend her spare money on (that he doesn’t agree with) e.g. she drinks far too much but to give her credit, it cheap plonk she’s happy with.
She never ever ever asks for anything but most of us have got used to doing nice things for her. Example, she’s going to a concert this weekend with another friend of ours and the other friend has paid for her ticket as there is no way she could afford it herself. When she comes to stay with me, I buy her train ticket (I live several hundred miles away) as otherwise she couldn’t afford it. However, if I’m working in London or near the south east, I can crash at her place (I have the keys) as often as I want and I’ve often stayed at her place when she’s been away on holiday etc. It pisses my DH off that I buy take away if she’s there when I stay and that she never offers to cook for me.
So, the current bone of contention. I’ve always given her my cast of IT equipment. I’m a bit of a gadget freak and often upgrade just because I can.
Earlier this year, I realized I didn’t use my ipod touch as all my music was on my phone – so I gave it to her and she uses it every day.
I have a laptop that had been sitting unused for nearly two years (was top of the range mac book pro about four years ago so still more than useful) so when her’s died I said she could have a loan of mine on the understanding that should I ever need it back for work (I’m freelance IT consultant) I could. I seriously doubt I ever would need it and if it were just up to me I’d give it to her but it was a “loan” to appease DH. He’s now belly aching that I could sell it for £350 on ebay or to a neighbor of my mother’s whose just broken his. I’d rather she use it than sell it for £350. We don’t need the money.
So, I’m now selling my ipad air as I’m upgrading mine to the ipad pro next week. With it is a keyboard I paid £100 for but to be honest, I doubt I’d get much second hand. She recently got given an ipad air for her birthday by her mother so when I sell mine to one of those buy your mobile companies, I’m going to give her the keyboard that I used. DH is adamant I should either charge her for it or let it sit on the shelf rather than she have it. I gave her my original iPad 1 – the very original that came out in 2010 back in 2012 and she used it until it gave up the ghost this year. What I’m trying to say with that is, she doesn’t just take things for granted and is genuinely appreciateive.
I think DH is just being spiteful he thinks she’s a freeloading twunt. I love my DH but he is the kind who would try to sell sand to Arab’s and charge them double the market price if he could get away with it.
Who is being unreasonable?