Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

You might like to take a look at this thread too Justine

I'd really like the writer of the Guardian article to read it too.

@BoreOfWhabylon

You might like to take a look at this thread too Justine

I'd really like the writer of the Guardian article to read it too.

Yes it's a great thread - it would be great to do a guest post/blog on this subject that we could then tweet out etc if anyone(s) - perhaps MrsDevere - feels up for writing it?

Doesn't sound like she's acknowledged it at all

But Justine, Liz Fraser is not sorry. Her Twitter messages demonstrate that very clearly.

I think she will have a twitter mini break/flounce until it all goes away.

I hope MrsDV will take up your offer Justine

More people should read what she has to say.

@derxa

But Justine, Liz Fraser is not sorry. Her Twitter messages demonstrate that very clearly.

I didn't follow it yesterday but have been told she apologised for insensitive wording. I guess we can see if she'd like to come on this thread?

She hasn't apologised at all and short of acknowledging how awful her responses on Twitter were (which she wouldn't) then having her register and post here would be pointless and patronising to us all wouldn't it?

A sincere public Twitter apology from her and deleting the insensitive calling everyone trolls/dicks attitude would be a start. But at this point who would believe it.

This apology?

Ohhhhh the teenage "sorry if".

Yes, quite.

Immature and awful woman. It would be nice if MN could add her to the "double check before promoting" list which they no doubt have somewhere.

Justine, I don't use twitter but lay in bed last night appalled at what she was saying about MN, MNers and bereaved parents.

Anyone who even attempted to engage with her was fobbed off as being a troll, then blocked. Then she and her cronies continued laughing at them.

You don't need MrsD to write a post. She already has. You need to stand behind your users and send her post to the Guardian.

I haven't read all the posts on this thread but I read Liz Fraser's article last week and although I am also a bereaved parent I didn't pick up on her use of language. I had to re read it to understand what the poster meant. I read it as 'these children have changed, they're no longer toddlers/babies' and didn't relate it to real bereavement. But understand that of course it can feel different to others and it's such an emotional thing (I have other things , comments people make innocently, that set me off in a rage)

And that was early on when the only "abuse" on this thread were people agreeing with the OP that it was thoughtless.

lots of people (myself included) will from time to time be guilty of thoughtlessness around bereavement because we don't actually live with the day to day pain that bereaved parents do, so threads like this - while in no way wishing them on anyone - do serve as a wake up call to be a bit more thoughtful.

exactly this

after a teen son related whinge this week, I read a thread on here by a man who'd lost his- same age, same name- son to meningitis

I felt dreadful and lucky, went into ds' midden, ruffled his hair and gave him a biscuit

(he said get off, what you doing, what's that for, stobbit)

but yy, be more thoughtful. Say sorry to people you have inadvertently upset. Don't make infantile, unfunny and spiteful 'jokes' about them on public forums and social media.

It's so unkind

@ThenLaterWhenItGotDark

Justine, I don't use twitter but lay in bed last night appalled at what she was saying about MN, MNers and bereaved parents.

Anyone who even attempted to engage with her was fobbed off as being a troll, then blocked. Then she and her cronies continued laughing at them.

You don't need MrsD to write a post. She already has. You need to stand behind your users and send her post to the Guardian.

I think would be great to promote the sentiments from MrsD's thread beyond Mumsnet - we could do this in the form of a guest post but you're right, the Guardian might want to run it too. We can certainly offer it as and when.

Just looked at her feed again and am stunned (once more) that she can't understand how people have been more offended by her reactions to fairly mild criticism than her actual piece.

I just can't even process her reactions. Does she know what trolling is?

Is she being stupid? Or deliberately goading?

MrsD - of course we would

Don't feel pressured into something though for goodness sake!

I don't see how your post could get any backlash Mrs DV but I will defend you if it does. I'm not on twitter but will sign up if need be.

@MrsDeVere

If my post is going in the Guardian it better be bloody proof read first. I am not having people troll me for erroneous use of commas!

And if there is ANY backlash you lot better be there.

Ha - now proofreading we can do! We'll drop you a line MrsD with a fuller brief.

She comes across as such a petulant ninny on her Twitter feed.

So much whining from one woman!