Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

expat I'm so sorry. I've read many of your posts. I'm sorry this stupid woman has upset you.

My God, what kind of cunt thinks writing and tweeting bullshit like this is acceptable? Hater's gonna hate? Sweetheart, my eight year old has more compassion and decency in her little finger than your twisted pea brain will ever imagine.

My Beloved Aunt lost my cousin this August. He was fifty. My Aunty is eighty. She is trying to will herself to die so she can be with her child. Her grief is overwhelming.

Fuck off Liz.

to all those who have been hurt by her words. She just doesn't know how lucky she is to mourn each passing stage. So many of you would give anything to feel a bit sad that your children were growing up so fast, or that they have moved on from the cute things they used to love. Believe me, I don't take it for granted.

Mnhq - I really feel that the thing that sets mn apart from other sites is the way it can be like a community. This article has really hurt a lot of mners. It would be the right thing to do to stand up and say that this isn't ok. You should be showing the bereaved members of the mn community real support in this. There is nothing worse in life than losing a child, nothing. Do the right thing.

Don't feel you shouldn't have started the thread wibblies - any journo worth their salt should be able to take some honest feedback and critiques of their writing from their readers.
And it'll soon be bedtime
Lots of people agreed with you is all. Because you were right x

wibblies no you did the right thing raising this. You have don't nothing wrong.

I don't think it's worth focusing on Ms Fraser. Crass journalists are ten-a-penny, these days, because they get clicks. This piece is going to stick in my head longer than Liz Jones ever has, definitely, but the thing that is actually utterly shocking now is that this example was seemingly approved by MNHQ.

MNHQ, a support site for parents, home of Woolly Hugs, publicised that. What is MN's USP, in their view?

As yet, no true apology or explanation has been forthcoming.

I'm afraid the old N word rears its head (narcissism). These sorts of people actually don't care about others's feelings. She just doesn't care. Sorry.

And Wibblies, you have done nothing, absolutely nothing wrong.

No parent on this thread or off the thread has been wrong to be injured by those lines, and it is right that people have expressed that.

None of you are obliged to keep silent for others' convenience. Ever.

I have never heard of the woman before this actually, but reading her self-centered article, it actually made me feel a bit ill.

Some dear friends of ours lost their 7 year old son in a freak accident, many years ago. Their grief was vicious, raw, savage, relentless, for years. It tore them apart. It destroyed their peace, their happiness, their reason to live, and it almost destroyed their marriage.
They have never been the same.

Idiots like her (can't even remember the silly cow's name) who don't pause to think before spouting off a self indulgant and badly written article, should really be ignored.

Hugs to you OP. I'm very sorry for you

If I would not blame mumsnet HQ for 'sleeping on it' - and I am sure they will revert. I think that it's time to let this sleep tonight . as the last thing we want to see is bereaved parents in a Twitter rant . She is clearly so rankled she is blindly blocking everyone and not listening properly . I bet with time and when she has calmed down she will read and listen to the many sensible posts.

I am sure she realised by now she fucked up !

Night all

And Wobblies a major

The only thing that really matters is your grief - this is a storm in a teacup sending

Please please read Mrs.Devere's threads..THINGS THAT ARE NOT LIKE LOSING A CHILD. The most perfect response to this horrible women. Blessings to all who have been hurt..xx

Sorry, Mrs.Deveres brilliant thread is entitled THINGS THAT ARE NOT THE SAME AS LOSING YOUR CHILD.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2500955-Things-that-are-not-the-same-as-losing-a-child

Link for any that need it.

Can someone send this to the Guardian?

Sorry posted this on wrong thread

Liz had a "rough day on Twitter" yesterday, poor dear, and posh snacks at the sixth form open evening, which perhaps helped.

Words still can't express how astonished I am that someone celebrated by the Guardian and MN can be so callous and dim.

And as someone mentioned up thread - do her kids see this narcissistic drivel? Do their friends? Who would be this absurd?

MrsD's thread says it all.

Who does Mumsnet want to stand with, those mumsnetters, who write about their children with such eloquence and passion or article writers who peddle 'parenting lifestyles' and 'yummy mummydom'?

I know what I want Mumsnet to be.

The cynical part of me thinks that only one of those groups brings ad revenue...

Sent too soon- Which is to say that's it's complicated and no matter how they feel, from a business POV it's probably best to stay quiet on the whole thing now!

posh snacks at the sixth form open evening Yes. If I had upset people as badly as she did yesterday, I would have just crawled into a hole. Instead she went to the open evening of a posh school- the fees presumably will be paid for from writing shite articles.

Aww a rough day on Twitter? How awfully upsetting for her.

I'm sure someone has said this but aren't these goady articles cheap publicity? - the answer is to write to the editor and say you have blocked all links with the paper.

Your delightful little tots turn into fascinating adults - no bereavement at all. A cruel thing to say.

Hi all,
I've been taking a look at this thread this morning. First, I'm really sorry for any unnecessary pain and anger we caused by tweeting this article. Clearly it was poorly-worded and insensitive in places (which I think the writer, Liz Fraser, has acknowledged) and clearly we were equally insensitive in tweeting about it. It was an error of judgement for sure for which others on the team have rightly apologised.

I don't want to proffer excuses but I would say that in truth lots of people (myself included) will from time to time be guilty of thoughtlessness around bereavement because we don't actually live with the day to day pain that bereaved parents do, so threads like this - while in no way wishing them on anyone - do serve as a wake up call to be a bit more thoughtful.

We promise to try; and of course will also continue to support the wonderful Woolley Hugs as much as we can and all those on here who've suffered the unthinkable tragedy of losing a child.