Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

I am guessing Matthew Wright has material for his show tomorrow. Will Liz be on the sofa with Holly and Phil in the morning trying to explain herself? There's always Loose Women if she's desperate.

When the Daily Mail pick the story up we can look forward to the comments section from the article too.

Is she one of Justine's bezzie mates
Bet she'll be along in a bit to bollock everyone

I saw that article and wrote a big comment on it on Saturday morning, to much the same effect as many of the posts here. I haven't lost a child but even so, her wording struck me as staggeringly tactless. I tweeted her politely about it and she immediately blocked me; presumably because she seems to think anyone who disagrees with her is a troll.

Just googled her and kept getting the lovely Liz who was in the carry on films and loads of others back in the day.

Googled guardian one and her article was 'glad she's hot grey hair'

People we aren't looking at Kate Aidie or Alex Crawford here are we?

Different Liz Fraser, Abide. That's the Cocteau Twins one: she's lovely. (and I like her hair too)

I cant understand how anyone can have so little emotional intelligence.

The Athur Miller tweet sounds like it's come from an immature teenager.

I have no idea who this person is. I cared very little too. But I did look up her webpage and I quote...

"I am not a journalist. I am a writer. Because writing is what I do."

(Well thank fuck, we both agree.)

"Liz’s internationally best-selling books about the realities of being a parent re-moulded parenting forever by finally allowing it to be very funny, and accepting that we all get most of it wrong – which is just as it should be."

(I'm actually cringing for her, because it makes her sound like such a trying-too-hard-to-be-funny-when-I'm-not twat)

But then I learn that

"In May, Liz launched her new venture, Headcase, a website that changes the way we think and speak about everyday mental health issues, from anxiety and panic attacks to depression. But in a fun way. Of course."

and

"Liz has a degree in Experimental Psychology from Cambridge University, ..."

What?

Is this Liz's idea of the "fun way" her clients should handle bereavement?

Findo thanks and I liked the hair too and she looked sensible so was finding it hard to match her to this one.

Stumped then as no
Idea who she is! I mean obviously daft but can't put a face to it.

She is a nasty, unintelligent woman who needs to get a bloody grip of herself.

Absolutely ridiculous. I don't think I've ever seen someone so self absorbed.

MNHQ I'm appalled at your response. Grow a bloody pair.

I have panic and anxiety attacks and depression, among other issues connected to the PTSD I have from watching my daughter go through cancer treatment and then slowly die in ICU over the course of 10 days. There is FA that is ever or will remotely be fun about it.

This person sounds deranged.

experimental psychology

surfing degree anyone?

Well said IV
I am still wait waiting for a response from MNHQ,they aren't usually so slow to join in

She was on a low rate budget tv channel in Cambridge back in the 90's. It was truly awful, but you just knew she was going to be pushy enough to make herself a professional 'I'm a bit of a crazy middle class mummy, me' even then

Am boggled by the death of a salesman tweet. Holy moly.

The worst thing is that tomorrow, next week, soon anyway, this will be reduced to a contretemps, be just chip-paper and people like this writer will bowl merrily along leaving the bereaved amongst us bereft anew.

Unforgiveable.

expat please accept mine,and I know all of mumsnets love, hugs and sheer force of support to you
And all bereaved parents here.

Her words are vile.

I don't think she needs to be picked apart as a human being on the basis of this one incident.

Yes, she was crass in her phrasing.

Yes, she was even more crass in her way of responding to being called on that phrasing, her total refusal to aknowledge her mistake and the genuine distress she caused, and above all, her manipulation of people's responses to lump anyone disagreeing with her - including countless bereaved parents - together as 'venom spitting trolls'.

The fact that MN likes to cuddle up close and cosy to the Guardian hasn't helped.

But ad hominem attacks don't do anyone any favours. Mourning the passing of childhood is a pretty common stage of parenthood, even if it's one to which I've never subscribed.

Wow this is incredibly upsetting, even without the sting of having personal experience of what she is so carelessly, selfishly invalidating.

It's just so inhuman to respond like this in this context. Totally lacking in personal shame and perspective.

Well said multivac

But multivac it wasn't just poor phrasing it was the premise of the whole piece - though admittedly it was particularly that one sentence that shocks me every time I catch sight of it - you all know the one I mean by now - the one with the stark inaccurate statement.

"I don't think she needs to be picked apart as a human being on the basis of this one incident"
Totally agree.

And she has actually sort of apologised, and has clearly got the point.

There's no need for personal remarks - you know, criticise the behaviour, not the person, and all that good parenting shit we know so much about.

Kind of wishing I hadn't said anything now....

She started by writing a crass phrase, but imo she has moved on to being cruel and sarcastic. That Miller quote is inexcusable.

My children are 18 (twins) I miss them being small, yes, and I am alone, no do or parents or siblings. Mourning? Maybe, sort of. Like a bereavement? No, as pps have said just the opposite.

to anyone affected by this.