Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

But hey - want some free publicity? Quick! Insult the bereaved! You'll feel fab about all the attention you get and all your friends can rally round and tell you to go girl!

I'm not really concerned about this writer - I honestly cannot in good faith call her a journalist. I am very concerned that Guardian publishes such crap and that the owners of this forum support it. And I will be voting with my spending power, ta.

Oh, and Liz, I know you're reading.

Be told, I have not addressed you on twitter at all, and nor will I be.

Oooh her pathetic attempts to silence grieving parents by making it all about her, is revolting.

And I bet she gets away with it too, hiding like a coward behind the nest of vipers reputation mumsnetters have.

Her ignorant refusal to understand how upset her article has made vulnerable people reveals how self-absorbed and disconnected from the reality of life she has become.

The rejection of anyone's hurt except her own self is really depressing.

Why does she believe that her own 'pain' from the reaction to her words is more important than the pain of someone who has lost a child.

Why?

Seriously, if you're reading this, before you throw out another superficial line painting yourself as victim with those nasty villains picking on you... Please tell me, why do you believe your pain is bigger and more worthy of support than having a child ripped from this life?

Why? Why would you pretend that those meanie mumsnetters are being stupid and are picking on you? Why? Why would you trivialize the pain of having your child die?

Is it just so you didn't look bad... Or just so you can use the hurt of others to get a bit of the media spotlight? Or just so you don't have to think for a second what real life suffering is? Or just so you don't have to actually think about the people who were genuinely upset by your words... Not angry or mean or bullying or vindictive... But gut wrenchingly, visceral, raw, pain of loss.

I don't get it.

She hasn't intentionally insulted bereaved parents. It's a by-product of being a mawkish self indulgent Mummy Hack.

I could be wrong, but I think this is the journo who wrote a long mournful piece (along with multiple flattering photos) a couple of years back about her DD reaching the same height as her or similar. That hit an odd note too.

I'll see if I can google it. I need to know if they are one and the same.

Either way, it's safe to say there's some biggish ego at play here.

Agreed, it's clearly not purposefully designed to attack (it's god awful mind you), but having accidentally insulted people, why is her response so shit?

I can't get my head around why anyone would be so dense and self indulgent. Genuinely gobsmacked!

I haven't addressed you on Twitter either "Liz".

Why don't you just own it?

Why don't you just address the fact that you wrote something in very poor taste and you have deeply offended a lot of people who really DO know the pain of bereavement, unlike you.

I hope to God you NEVER have to know what they've been through, because y'see Liz, I and everyone else who has posted here am NOT a troll. A troll would be wishing you much greater ill, believe me.

But it's easier to just play the troll card, isn't it?

FWIW you are a very poor writer. Your style is crass, immature and lacking in substance.

Just fuck off with your shitty little tweets, eh?

Oh misc, it was a metaphor. Clearly anyone who can see her writing is shit really just never studied proper literature and just misunderstood what she was trying to do there.

No, it was just shit writing. I despair at the quality of writing published in today's papers.

It's like she looked at one of those dreadful FB Poems about little handprints'footprints and thought how can I spin this out into a full article?

I could be wrong, but I think this is the journo who wrote a long mournful piece (along with multiple flattering photos) a couple of years back about her DD reaching the same height as her or similar. That hit an odd note too

I'm starting to get a Shona Sibary vibe from her.

Hi all,
Just to address some of the disappointment about MNHQ's having tweeted the piece, we genuinely are sorry. We deleted our tweet immediately after seeing this thread, because we agree with the point that so many are making, and we came on the thread straight away to explain. We are very sorry that our having tweeted the piece out has caused additional pain to so many of you, it's really never our intention.

Also, laffy's post was deleted because of a personal attack that we felt was beyond the pale.

Still don't think my tweet was "beyond the pale" and several others didn't think so either. Pretty selective in what you think is "beyond the pale" aren't you? And the post would not have been reported either, very odd.

Not "tweet", post.

Oh I seeee Horton, not insensitive and caught up in the superciality of modern (media) life ... Just a metaphor that dim me didn't 'get', doh to self!

Just tried to write something about the journo's 'haterz gonna hate' line but find its sticking in my craw - must be another sign of my stupidity and failure to get the point!

I won't be posting any further on this thread, suffice to say I think HQ have handled it very badly.

Tbf if someone calls someone a cunt or a twat then it is a PA and they can delete it if it comes to their attention, especially if it's directed at someone in the media they are worried will cause a fuss.
It's applied with laughable inconsistency, however.

Is MNHQ going to tweet to Ms Fraser that her personal attacks on bereaved mumsnetters are "beyond the pale"?

I have done my deregistration request, and I do not regret it. The silence so far (when she is making sure to tweet MNtowers each time) was staggering.

The standard you walk past...

is the standard you accept.

Thank you HQ, but you've already apologised and explained you've removed the tweet (although you couched your apology with a "might" which soured it slightly).

It's more about how you've followed up since then. You may not want to engage with Liz (I can see how she could turn on you, it would interrupt relations with the Guardian etc etc) but you could tweet a link out right now with sympathy/links for bereaved parents? Some sort of gesture?

You could say to have a quick glance of articles in future before tweeting them maybe?

Sorry as I know you must be busy and it must be difficult to react to everything going on with MN, but this is an especially sensitive topic and it's hurt a lot of people...

Can I just add to my earlier comments on the article that it is also the most utterly miserable and depressing view of parenting I've ever read.
As someone else said I do feel a bit sorry for the miserable cow, and her teenage children.
< wonders if cow will duck under the HQ radar - I'm only quoting HQ and I think you let it stand earlier? >

These journos with too much time on there hands, simply typing shit for loo roll papers make me sick.

Liz Fraser sounds like a self obsessed attention seeker who needs to get over herself.

the most utterly miserable and depressing view of parenting

this

I read the piece on saturday and my eyes rolled right to the back of my head

it wasn't only the aforementioned awfulness that struck me

it was also that there's never going to be a great stage for her- when her kids go off to college or whatever she'll be harking back to this bit and no doubt toss off another Will This Do piece for the Graun

I think she's being really disingenuous on Twitter. Not mentioning at all why people are offended or the fact that some of the people referred to as "trolls" "spitting venom" are actually bereaved parents talking about how upsetting they find her comparison.

It's very telling she hasn't allowed any of the supposedly "venomous" tweets to stand or actually linked to this thread.