to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

And this one:

Wow you're all charming. I shan't bother gouging my eyes out, I will continue to avert my eyes but there's only so much staring at the floor you can do.

I have bf but if you have big boobs and a baby that feeds very often whilst latching on and off throughout the feed, it just makes some people uncomfortable to see lots of boob repeatedly. In my opinion nursing covers are great.

I don't know why I'm bothering if I'm honest. Only one opinion allowed on mn!

But I wouldn't say he was a dick anymore than I would say that to women who feel uncomfortable BF in public or use a cover because it makes them feel better.

But these two things aren't at all comparable laughing. A woman deciding to breastfeed under a cover is simply minding her own business and feeding in the way she chooses. Nothing could be remotely objectionable about that. Her body, her baby, her choice. Whereas DH is taking it on himself to tell another person how to use her body and apparently feels OP should expect to be on the receiving end of illegal behaviour. Women breastfeeding under covers aren't doing that. The appropriate analogy would be DH feeling uncomfortable about public breastfeeding but minding his own business about it.

Also a formula feeder here, through choice. Because the possibility of benefits that are imperceptible for a term, healthy baby on an individual level (assuming we had any chance of properly controlling for class of course) was in no way worth me having to do all the night feeds. Pretty sure that statement disqualifies me from the 'boob mafia' automatically. It's almost as if it's possible both to not breastfeed and not be a twat about breastfeeding, isn't it!

So are you saying that it's ok to breast feed as long as you don't have big boobs and your baby doesn't feed often Diddly? Erm OK

Oh diddly, grow up, seriously.

I only ask for breastfeeding mothers to have some consideration for those around you. I don't have a problem with you breastfeeding, but please be discreet about it. It's just being considerate and compromising in a public space which we share.

I will continue to avert my eyes but there's only so much staring at the floor you can do.

Why aren't you staring at her face Diddly

Didly

think about it another way.

If two men holding hands made me uncomfortable. Would it be fair of me to ask them to stop, or cover up in some way, or ask that they do it in private, so as not to offend me?

I'm not particularly bothered how anyone feeds their babies. High fives liesal and heart.

I just feel sorry for you if you feel a glimpse of a breast is so terrible, or if you describe feeding a baby as big floppy breasts hanging out.

Would you consider therapy?

YADNBU. Where and how you breastfeed is entirely up to you, no one else. I have found covers, shauls etc to make nursing in public 10x harder than it needs to be, baby gets all hot and bothered, I can't see what I'm doing and I feel like I'm drawing more attention to myself. The two top method seems to work well for me, and even though I'm nervous about nursing in public no ones ever noticed, or at least I've not noticed that they've noticed.

OP doesn't seem like she's wanting to 'make a point' at all. Why is it that when ever these sorts of posts crop up at least one poster has to come in and accuse people of being part of the so-called 'breastfeeding mafia'? It's the height of ridiculousness. People just want to feed their babies without feeling harassed or shamed.

I only ask for breastfeeding mothers to have some consideration for those around you. I don't have a problem with you breastfeeding, but please be discreet about it. It's just being considerate and compromising in a public space which we share.

But why should they be discreet? Why does your unreasonable discomfort trump a baby's right to feed? And who and what is being compromised?

Nope. Bf whatever size your boobs are just try not to fully wap them out basically!

Also shit you didn't answer my question about low cut tops and topless sunbathing? Do you police those too? And insist people should be discreet? Can you really not see how this sets women back?

I don't have a problem with you breastfeeding, but please be discreet about it

Why? Because you clearly do have a problem with it.

My baby, my breasts, my choice. If you don't like it don't look. Your hang ups won't stop a child being hungry, so get over it because the law allows a child to be fed by it's mother regardless of what you think.

Diddly can you explain what "wap" means please? You make it sound like she's slapping you in the face with them. I have small breasts but I know large breasted women can't be as discreet as I can be.

What compromise will you be making flowers? What about my desire for breastfeeding women to only cover up if they want to, why do your wishes about what you want to see trump mine? I don't want to have to look at someone who's covering up against their wishes.

Also diddly, could you specify allowable cup size please? Just so we know.

Nice addressing FlowersAndShit as 'Shit'

You can do both though. You can be discreet and bf. Imo you should that as I don't want to see lots of boob.

Then don't look.

Why is it that tits are fine until you're trying to feed a baby? I just don't get it.

My OH used to encourage me to feed our LO whenever and wherever needed, he knew the baby needed feeding and that was that. Same as if another baby needs feeding he's happy to be somewhere with breastfeeding women, as long as the woman is comfortable with him being there.

I used to place a light muslin over my LO, not because I wanted covering but because I could spray 10 foot across the room, and I don't think anyone fancied a breast milk latte.

I don't know when society got like this.

You feel embarrassed to breastfeed in public but feel embarrassed to bottle feed too. You can't win either way.

I think the only thing MN has a strong opinion on is tolerance and understanding and questioning the 'norm'

it is a great place to have your thoughts and opinions challenged.

If you can provide a succinct reason as to why breast feeding is so offensive, you will find yourself part of a lively, entertaining and clever debate.

The problem is,a lot of what we consider normal/wrong/whatever should be challenged. Thirty years ago, it was commonplace to smoke in restaurants, people would be horrified at the idea of two women raising a child, and no-one would have batted an eyelid if you smacked your kids. Things change. ideas change. people change.

Ask yourself what is so offensive about breastfeeding.

The real problem is, breasts have become sexualised is society, used to titilate and tease etc. So that people associate boobs with sex, and hence taboo, naughtiness, indecent etc.

But that is not what they are for!

I have never ever in my whole 35 years on this planet seen a breastfeeding Mother wave her boobs about or even seen so much as a hint of nipple!

Diddly, it's a conflict of interests: your right to not feel uncomfortable vs the right of a mother to feed their baby uninhibited.

Tricky, yes?

It might help to remember this: only one of the above mentioned rights is actually real. (Hint: not yours)

My dh was always concerned that someone would comment on my bf and I wouldn't know how to react. Its a shame your dh isn't supportive. As I had my baby in winter, I wore a vest I pulled down and a top to pull up as well as a scarf - nothing special, just kept on the one I wore with my coat. That way if dd decided to unlatch -and leave milk dripping all down me in the middle od Starbucks- I could just quickly posistion the scarf to sort it out. Personally, I think shawls and those aprons draw more attention to the fact one is breastfeeding. Just hope he doesn't do what my mum did and hold a scarf up in front of me like she was trying to shield the scene of a murder. If she had shouted "don't look at this breastfeefing!" she could not have drawn more attention to me!

Has your dh sat a couple tables away and watched you bf? He might be surprised at how little he can see and how little other people notice.

Right, we've established that the feelz of people other than the breastfeeding mother are the most important thing here, and that breastfeeding mothers ought to defer to what other people think. I am not a breastfeeding mother, and as such my views take precedence over those who are. I don't want to see breastfeeding mothers cover up unless they actually want to. As I belong to the group whose views are most important here, I expect to get my way. Breastfeeding mothers, you are hereby ordered to only be discreet if that's your preference. I shouldn't have to look at unhappily covered up mother.