to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

But, despite several requests, you have produced precisely no evidence for your claim that no-one wants to see a breastfeeding mother's breasts, and have been told that that is not the case. In fact, it is perfectly obvious that it isn't the case, because you can walk into any public place and see a breastfeeding mother or mothers with uncovered breasts and with all the other customers perfectly happily getting on with their lives. Loads of people on here have told you that it doesn't bother them. So I ask again, why should they stop doing something perfectly lawful just because it bothers you?

It's not always possible to cover because some babies won't feed in those circumstances. Would you like to eat with a muslin over your head? If the answer is yes, maybe that's the answer to your problem.

Evidence? I havent seen one woman that actually does that in public so I think you are just being ridiculous and wanting to bang home some sort of invalid womens rights thing here.

Uncovered breasts in public, err ok...

So what's all the fuss about? You've never seen a woman uncovering her breast so as to feed her baby, you never have in fact been made to feel uncomfortable as you claim by the sight of a mother breastfeeding, so you don't even know whether you would feel uncomfortable.

You are in fact purely here on a wind-up, aren't you?

You need to concentrate a bit more on other things that are wrong about society and women instead of banging on about breasts.

You are actually getting on my nerves now, im quite patient but i have my limits.

This is a thread about breastfeeding, and the wrong involved in breastfeeding mothers being told they should hide themselves away and be discreet as it were something to be ashamed of. If you fancy discussing other things that are wrong in society feel free, go and start a thread about it. You chose to come on here despite the fact that you claim you have never seen a mother feeding indiscreetly, no-one made you do so.

Being discreet is not being ashamed. I have no idea why you would think that?

This is going round in circles. As has been pointed out before, you don't have to be discreet unless you are doing something that is at least faintly shameful and/or embarrassing.

You've painted yourself into a corner, pinot. You've said you haven't actually seen anyone feeding indiscreetly and you don't really want to discuss this. Don't try to get yourself out of it by asking the same questions all over again.

I will again state that discretion in certain things is not about being ashamed in the slightest. It's more about having a bit of dignity.

I dont think everything needs to be "out there"

I havent actually asked any questions. Ive answered them.

So what? Why should breastfeeding women have to fit your notions of dignity? And why are you discussing this if you've never seen someone feeding indiscreetly?

Strange, there seems to be a question mark in your post at 3.16.

Describe what you have seen and accept then? You keep asking me things, you tell me?

Not sure I keep notes about question marks nor times

You tell me what should be accepted then Gruntled one. You tell me what should happen in public.

Im a private discreet person, you tell me what I should do?

What I have seen and accepted is irrelevant. The point is that the law rightly allows breastfeeding mothers to feed in whatever way is appropriate for them, whether you deem it discreet/dignified or not, and that is as it should be.

In real life, DS is home now so I couldnt really give a toss about breasts.

I thought as much. You never have, in fact. I'm off to find someone capable of putting together a respectable argument by way of debate.

OP if you are still here, in four years of bf in public I have never come across anyone like pinot, elle, etc. Other people have either ignored us and gotten on with their lives or approached me to share memories of their babies. Some told me about their bf experiences, how much they enjoyed it, how they miss the baby years, etc. It has been, and continues to be, a wonderful experience and I hope it is the same for you.

I agree Boo . I bf 3 children and there is 10yrs between the eldest and the youngest. I never had any negative reactions. I have never seen any negative reactions out and about - just women quietly getting on with it.
The odd people thrown up on MN are not representative.

Likewise. I've breastfed DS2 in plenty of public places (no covers used here), and never had any negative comments or looks from members of the public. Most people have been completely indifferent to it. Some people have reacted positively.

Undignified?

Like this?

In the past a woman openly breastfeeding was considered worthy of portrayal in fine art.

Now we just think 'ooh, I can see her tits, how horrible!'

Haven't we come a long way....

These threads always go the same

"I just find it uncomfortable/embarrassing. I don't want to see it."
"Can you explain what it is that makes you feel that way?"
"I don't like seeing breasts wapped out/flapping about/swinging in the breeze."
"Ok, nobody does that but can you explain why you feel that way?"
"I just find it uncomfortable/embarrassing. I don't want to see it."

I have never seen women flapping their breasts about whilst breastfeeding or whatever these women are being accused of, and if I've ever been around a woman breastfeeding to 'make a point' then she wasn't very good at it because I didn't notice it. How does one breastfeed to make a point? Stand in the middle of the room and announce it? Shove a suckling baby into people's faces? Or just sit down and breastfeed their baby?

Anyway, when I see the people who are so offended by the slight possibility that if they stare long enough they might glimpse the slightest peek of a nipple being equally offended and vociferous by the amount of breast flesh on display on TV, in the newspapers, in advertising etc. then maybe I'll start to take them more seriously.

I don't see how feeding a baby is a private thing. I don't hear people complaining about a mum wapping her bottles out to feed her baby. Or that they should cover themselves with a blanket so as not to offend people by the highly private act of feeding a baby. Because that would be fucking stupid. Sometimes, I've even seen people feed babies that don't even belong to them with bottles. Does that send people into a frenzy the same?

I havent seen one woman that actually does that in public

So wtf are you moaning about. A none existent woman who flashes her breasts at people when she feeds her child.

You have ishoos.

For the sake of our health I think everyone should stop engaging with pinot elle etc who are clearly here to be wind up merchants. Neither can answer key questions with proper reasoning, or provide evidence for their flivorous claims, but both seem to be responding with irrelevant answers such as pulling people up on their grammar and sulking because I said "thick".

Wether they either hate women (seems to be the case especially elle who had a rather amusing and misogynistic theory about feminism and daughters being sluts upthread) and are here to piss us off, or they actually don't believe BF should be allowed in public but have now had their reasoning torn apart and rather than saying "Yeah fair enough", have pathetically skirted around the issue and avoided questions, they have no clue what they are going on about and should now be avoided like the plague.

This thread has been an experience for me, I didn't realise some adults could be so inherently stupid and discriminatory.

At the end of it all there is a law that protects BF women which means they don't have to be "discreet" (whatever the hell that is, who knows, no one has said) and they'll have to lump it. Openly flouting an equality laws shows true bigotry and would be no different if a person says gay people shouldn't hold hands in public for X, y and Z reasons. So let's just pity them for having such narrow minds and get on with our Sunday's.

I'm sure some of them will come on and say "You're HORRIBLE, you said stupid waaaah", "you missed an apostrophe in that post Piper" or "are you ok Piper you seem angry", therefore missing the point, deferring the issue and further failing to give reasons for their beliefs.

Peace out all

I'd also add to piper, gruntled and metalheads excellent posts, that, despite all their whinging about BFing women, I highly doubt that pinot, elle* et al would even say anything to a BFing women if they did encounter one in public. It's a lot easier to be a dick (ooh, I name-called!) on the internet than it is in real life, thankfully, so I'm fairly certain no women actually in the middle of BFing would have to get much more than a side-eye from these backwards ignoramuses. All mouth and no trousers, with no reasoning to back it up.

Totally agree that these wind-up merchants need to be ignored, and that thankfully, their viewpoints don't affect the wonderful law we have in place that protects BFing women doing the most natural (albeit difficult) thing in the world (a bit like child-rearing in general, I suppose).