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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

861 replies

Sequine · 29/10/2015 17:29

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

OP posts:
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6
PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 21:50

But Diddly if I woman can't be discreet why should she not BF. This is your problem no one else's.

Also I can't imagine MNers would get frothy about any other anatomical right protected by law? It's a ridiculous debate as women are legally protected to BF in public.

imwithspud · 29/10/2015 21:51

I only ask for breastfeeding mothers to have some consideration for those around you. I don't have a problem with you breastfeeding, but please be discreet about it. It's just being considerate and compromising in a public space which we share.

It goes both ways, why can't people also have some consideration and understanding for people who are simply trying to feed their babies the way nature intended. A nursing mum is causing no harm, she just wants to feed baby and get it over and done with. Some mums for what ever reason don't use a cover and sometimes being discreet isn't always possible, my 5month old is notorious for coming unlatched mid feed to look around. It's embarrassing, but my only other option is to never leave the house, retreat to the car for every feed when out or go and sit in a public toilet to feed which is something I am not prepared to do.

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 21:52

didly have you really seen more boob from a breastfeeding mother than this M&S lingerie ad?

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 21:53

and I ask again

Didly

think about it another way.

If two men holding hands made me uncomfortable. Would it be fair of me to ask them to stop, or cover up in some way, or ask that they do it in private, so as not to offend me?

Chippednailvarnish · 29/10/2015 21:56

Here's something shocking...

Oh wait. It's not.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 29/10/2015 21:56

scoop kudos for totally focusing on the important part of this discussion.

Fact is, no one who objects to public breastfeeding can give a decent reason for their objection other than "tits make me uncomfortable when used for breastfeeding and it's impossible for me to carry on reading / drinking my coffee / talking to my friend / enjoying the scenery once I know a woman in my vicinity is breastfeeding k thx bai"

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 21:57

I don't BF in public anymore as DD is 2.5 and only feeds at bedtime, but I did til she was about 15months and I got a lot of comments from other people. Every single one was people saying well done, good for you, its nice to see people feed in public, etc and one lady bought me a coffee as she said BFers need hydrating (I'm a softie and nearly cried at that one). I'm sure someone at some point shot me the evils but I never knew nor cared.

Diddlydokey · 29/10/2015 21:58

I am not offended by bfing. As a society we don't walk around with our boobs out, they are part of our bodies that we cover up and that's why I'm uncomfortable when I get faced with lots of boob. Bikinis and bras do usually cover up and fine in the right place.

man cleavage however never has a right time or place.

Generally speaking though it's not something I've ever experienced until recently with one friend. I think it's an unusual situation. Most do work out a way to do it discreetly or I've just not been sat opposite - perhaps this is why the ops dh is awkward, he's seeing more boob than anyone else will be.

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 21:58

it's OBSCENE look at the way the mother flaunts her boobs...

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?
goodnightdarthvader1 · 29/10/2015 22:00

diddly unless said breastfeeding woman is stood in front of you doing it while you're sitting down, the only person seeing more boob than you usually would is the baby.

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 22:01

diddly

How many BFing mothers have their boobs "out" though??

Really??

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 22:01

Diddly you see no more with breastfeeding than you do with bikinis. A baby's head is covering the nipple area.

Shit and Diddly please read this attachmentfeminism.com/?p=1067

Diddlydokey · 29/10/2015 22:01

boo yes I have seen more boob than the m&s ad and no I'm not homophobic Hmm (really?)

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 22:02

and again.... please answer my question - I'd be interested to hear your answer.

If two men holding hands made me uncomfortable. Would it be fair of me to ask them to stop, or cover up in some way, or ask that they do it in private, so as not to offend me?

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 22:02

Oh crap that full article isn't available anymore. Will find another one

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 22:02

Who said you were homophobic?

Diddlydokey · 29/10/2015 22:04

Sorry, you didn't say that. Of course be unreasonable boo as it would be homophobic.

Diddlydokey · 29/10/2015 22:04

Anyway... I'm off to bed now so I'll leave you to it!

Goldmandra · 29/10/2015 22:05

I will continue to avert my eyes but there's only so much staring at the floor you can do.

Are you saying that if you are near someone breastfeeding in public, you can only look at either her boob or the floor? Seriously, nowhere else? Are you sure?

What is so fascinating about someone's boob that you feel so driven to stare at it, I wonder?

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 22:05

Who called you homophobic Confused

Mermaidhair · 29/10/2015 22:06

Boo , thank you for the link! I laughed so hard.

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 22:07

Sorry, you didn't say that. Of course be unreasonable boo as it would be homophobic.

And for the same reasons it's equally unreasonable to insist a woman covers up, it's stopping someone doing what they're legally protected to do in order to make yourself comfortable.

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 22:07

So, if it;s unreasonable to ask the men holding hands to leave/stop/cover up, even though I might be offended. Why would it ever be OK to ask a woman breastfeeding, (even if there is an occasional accidental 'nipple sighting') to do the same??? Confused

pinotblush · 29/10/2015 22:10

I find it embarrassing. I dont blame him.

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 22:10

why pinot?