I know I was unreasonable. But should I buy more bacon?

[matchingsocks7]

DP and me have split up,but I still officially live with him . I work away a lot and am hardly ever in, I spend maybe 1-2 nights at home and I try to keep out of his way.

We get on 'okay' I guess, but the main reasons for splitting up were his drinking problem, losing his job as a result and his sloppiness around the house. He'd wee outside but dribble it in for example, wee in bottles, never lifted a finger unless I nagged to the point of shouting even though he didn't work. Anyway that's by the by.

Last week I got home and the fridge STANK. He'd left some chicken in there and it had gone off. I was knackered and upset by this, and I said to him to get off his ass and clean the fridge and get rid of the rotten chicken.

He refused. So I said if he didn't, I'd do it myself and I would throw away anything in there that was his.

Which I did.

Now, I get back form being away again and he is saying that he needed the bacon and I've thrown it away. Said it was something, one product that will help him 'sort himself out' bear in mind he's been saying he'll 'sort himself out' for the duration of the almost four years we lived together. He means that certain foods (junk foods), are a 'tool' to help him stop drinking. He's had ample opportunity and many different types of professional help, for background.

I apologised, but said that all the time I was deep-cleaning the fridge (it took a fairly long time) he could see me, was feet away from me(open plan house) and had every opportunity to take over, get hold of the bacon and tell me to not throw it away please, or to say 'you sit down I'll clean the fridge it's my fault'. Etc.

And now I feel guilty. Should I replace his bacon?

With respect, I didn't ask for advice on any other aspect other than the incident at hand.

I appreciate what I get, but this is the main reason I didn't explain other aspects of my situation . I just gave the background relevant to the actual issue I wanted help with.

I have taken care of him for years and I haven't ever done anything to hurt him. Can't say the same about him with me,though but I have forgiven and moved on. I know It's not purposeful.

How are you going to pay the mortgage on his home and your own home for the next 20+ years? And why?

I doubt it . I kept paying extra into it whenever I had the money and I will have more money in the future than I do now, so his will be paid off before too long has passed.

I know you never intended this thread to be about anything else but the bacon, but when posters describe their very unusual living situation as part of their complaint, you have to expect questions such as "why on earth are you living like that? Leave."

If you then leave details out of your explanation, then you are going to get people making assumptions. Those may well get on your nerves or upset you, and you may resent having to explain further. But it comes down to this: a poster describes an intolerable domestic situation, and the first thing that everybody posts is a very supportive "you need to get out of there." I.e. Think of YOU. Just remember that when you are annoyed at having to answer the multitude of questions which follow, or the assumptions which are a bit off the mark.

I can understand your predicament. I can see that before you were with him you had a home that you paid for yourself. You want to get back to that and do the least damage to all parties in the process.

I don't know what the answer is but I wish you well. I don't think you come across as mercenary anymore, but instead it seems you are wanting a solution based on "damage limitation." It's clear only legal advice will give you the help you need, so I hope you find someone who is useful.

Yes, I understand that. But also posters need to 'get' why I just answered short and didn't go into detail-this isn't something I ever intended to discuss.

I'm not upset-I know my situation and my faults and what I have done, and that it was kindness and not grabbiness that has got me here-when all's said I do not need to let strangers on the internet judge me, as I said I posted some time ago when I was wanting to leave him, and going into details, and things were very different then, sympathy and sensible advice. I didn't mention my situation BEFORE I ended up here because it just wasn't relevant to what I was asking.

I know I am not mercenary.
Thank you.