Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? Why can't people think before they speak? A gender rant.

127 replies

babarthefuckingelephant · 27/10/2015 21:45

My son is 2. He's obsessed with trains, cars, trucks, diggers and running at the speed of light into things, climbing trees, you know the usual.
He is also just as obsessed with glitter, dancing, swirling, singing, sparkly, pretty, colourful, dolls, literally just as much as the usual boy stuff. Nothing has ever been particularly encouraged one way or the other, he has never been pushed towards cars or glitter, and some days he favours one or the other. But he does what he likes and he likes what he does. (Which usually brings meltdowns when getting dressed in the morning if an outfit isn't colourful enough).

He's been wearing a purple tuelle tutu skirt for the last two days. Literally every waking moment. He was dressed for bed last night and then undressed himself and went and put the tutu back on. He wanted to wear it again today.
He put it on with some grey leggings underneath (that had nuts and bolts on), a t shirt, some chelsea boots and a navy blue wooly hoodie.
Nursery are great with this stuff so no problems there. We got to playgroup afterwards and comments from everybody there were like "Oh whats her name?" and when I told them and said He's 2, they would say "Oh, well good for him, I just assumed because of the girls skirt that it was a girl" (He otherwise looks like a boy, short hair ect), "You do whatever you want theres nothing wrong with wearing a girls skirt", that kind of thing, generally making quite a big deal of it.

Afterwards we went to the farm with his friend, Where there were more comments asking what her name was (I know an easy mistake and not what got to me in the slightest) but the reaction when I said "He is ..."
One woman even looked at him and said "Oh, well your little friend and your little sister, you're surrounded by girls is that why you're wearing girls clothes?" and another woman saying "You wear that girls skirt, my son liked things like that but everyone skitted at him"

I mean I know people are just rude sometimes but why make a huge point of it being girls? Why can't people just say "oh thats a nice skirt" or say nothing at all? His friend is the same age and a girl, and I'm pretty sure had she been wearing it nobody would have said "oh what a lovely girls skirt you have on"
It made me feel so cruel for letting him go out with it on, but what message is it giving to society by telling him not to? Ive never looked at a young girl with a football shirt on and said "what a lovely boys shirt you're wearing".

Why is it such an atrocity in this day and age to comment on anything at all that a woman or girl shouldn't do or have, but boys are just as equally stereotyped from infancy about what they can and can't do or like. Why can't people just smile or look the other way? Why does it have to be such a big thing. And now I've ranted on AIBU like it is a big thing but I just don't know why people have to put outdated ideas into tiny heads like that?

OP posts:
imwithspud · 29/10/2015 12:59

Not read all the comments but I understand. My dm has been struggling for ideas on what to get dd1 for Christmas. So I pointed her in the direction of the ELC car garage which is on offer at the moment and that I know dd will enjoy. My mum said she thought it would be strange to buy a little girl a car garageConfused I don't understand why. Are little girls not supposed to play with cars or something? And it would be a million times better than all the plastic tat dm usually gets her.

A couple of weeks ago dd2 was wearing a blue sleepsuit and FIL passed comment and said that she looked like a boy because she was in blue.

I really resent the gender stereotyping when it comes to colours and toys.

PoundingTheStreets · 30/10/2015 01:08

Do you not believe in ANY overlap between 'culture' and biology?

I don't know! As I said, I was just musing.

What I do know is that my attitudes, values, thoughts, feelings and behaviour towards others bear far more in common with like-minded males than they do with females who don't think/feel the same way. While I feel a bond with other women because of our shared experiences as women, I think my femaleness is only a small part of what defines me. I think the majority of what it is to be female/male is defined by culture far more than it is biology.

Truth is, we can't know. We don't live in a society where it is truly possible to discover that because the fallout of making our own children the scientific experiment that proves it is too great for most parents to contemplate.

My post was just a comment and suggestion - as I clearly stated by saying I wasn't trying to air an agenda. TBH I don't understand why it's provoked such a strong reaction from you!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread