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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my daughters party on her actual birthday?

65 replies

Newtothis2015 · 26/10/2015 16:03

Since dd started school I have noticed all the parents do the child's party on the nearest weekend to their child's birthday. Last year dds birthday was on a Sunday so we had her party on the Sunday with family and school friends. This year her birthday is on a Monday so we will have her party after school on the Monday. We have done this since birth. Is this strange? My daughter said she wants two birthdays like the other children but I think it is really nice to celebrate on the actual day. It is nice isn't it? Or am I missing something?

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 26/10/2015 16:05

What are you proposing to do? What time will you be finishing up? Not sure I'd want the whole week disrupted by a Monday evening party.

SoupDragon · 26/10/2015 16:05

I think weekday parties are generally a pain TBH.

Axekick · 26/10/2015 16:07

I would only go to a week day party if it was a very close friend of my child and I couldn't get out it.

Tbh it's a bit of a pain and by the time I calmed ds down he would be late to bed and miserable the next day.

squoosh · 26/10/2015 16:07

I don't think children really care if their birthday is celebrated on the actual day or on the following Saturday.

CMOTDibbler · 26/10/2015 16:07

Lots of children won't be able to come - after school clubs, sports, working parents.

momb · 26/10/2015 16:08

If it's a party for family then its fine to do after school. If it's a party to include classmates you immediately rule out those with working parents and those with other afterschool clubs. It depends if you want to be able to invite your daughter's closest friends or only those with SAHP and no gymnastics (or whatever) that day.

tibbawyrots · 26/10/2015 16:08

You may find that after school activities may mean that some children won't be able to attend. We always did family party on the day and friends at the nearest weekend to the birthday.

Axekick · 26/10/2015 16:08

I would also say that since your dd wants it on a separate day, Yabu to insists she has her party on a week day.

KittyVonCatsworth · 26/10/2015 16:08

IMO its preferred if the party is on the same day as the birthday but unless the birthday falls in school holidays then a party during the week for schoolchildren may put a lot of parents off.

By the time they get out of school, do homework, get changed and get to a party, you're going to have a few hungry, tired crabby wee kids for a couple of hours until they have to go home, unwind and to bed x

Original poster
Newtothis2015 · 26/10/2015 16:09

Just soft play after school, so play, food then cake, 4-6pm. Nothing late in the evening.

OP posts:
NinaSimoneful · 26/10/2015 16:10

Considering your DD would actually like a weekend party instead then why not do this? It's her birthday after all.

Why not at least try it once and then decide whether or not to keep doing it that way or go back to the old way?

Axekick · 26/10/2015 16:11

Yeah but I would have to pick ds up, pick dd up. Rush home, change ds and drop dd off (assuming dh is at home, if not dd would have to come and I would need to feed her in the car) then rush to the party.

Then home, homework for dd bath and bed, which for ds would be late.

Both kids would have to miss their after school club which is paid for.

It's personal preference, but weekend are far better for us, with a week or two notice.

lexigrey · 26/10/2015 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninja · 26/10/2015 16:14

I've done weekday ones as I'm divorced from dd's dad and it means we both see her on her birthday and don't have to see him at the weekend. The parties have been fine and well attended. Harder as they get older though

HackerFucker22 · 26/10/2015 16:14

So kids will be going from school? I'd imagine they could all be pretty tired? Its a lot to ask for reception aged kids...Personally I'd do the party at the weekend before and the a cake and nice dinner on the Monday.

TooDamnSarky · 26/10/2015 16:15

I work FT so this would mean either taking time off work or asking favours of other parents. I couldn't ask our childminder to take all her other kids who were not invited to drop my dc off.

SellFridges · 26/10/2015 16:15

We would struggle to make it once I'm back at work, especially a 4pm start.

bruffin · 26/10/2015 16:16

My dc have September birthdays, so not always easy to organise so they sometimes had their parties on Halloween or once in November. They loved having two "birthdays" especially as we have 3 birthdays within one week and all 4 of us are in less than 4 weeks.
After school could also be a pain as I don't drive and dh worked long hours, so if the party was not near public transport it would be impossible to get to.

atticusclaw2 · 26/10/2015 16:16

It will be fine if you only want a couple of children to come. Otherwise it will be a real hassle, particularly for working parents.

LadyLonely1 · 26/10/2015 16:17

You are assuming that people don't work and have the time to sort things out on a weekday. Think a weekend is a much better idea.

missmargot · 26/10/2015 16:18

You expecting parents who work full time to take holiday or arrange to finish work early so their child can attend your DD's party?

By all means hold it on a weekday but you risk your DD being upset that some friends can't make it and some of her friends being upset that they can't attend.

HackerFucker22 · 26/10/2015 16:18

I don't know why I assumed DD is reception age OP? I still think a full day at school then a party is a bit much for younger kids though.

lostscot · 26/10/2015 16:20

How old is dd? Older children I'd say yes evening that time ok but my friend did 4-6 with yr1 and she admitted complete nightmare with everyone crying, tired and grumpy!

Groovee · 26/10/2015 16:20

I've often done week day parties and never had an issue with numbers.

BYOSnowman · 26/10/2015 16:20

Life is too short to take kids to school day parties - particularly if you have more than one child.

Either I am at work so it won't work because they are at childcare. Or it is my off days and I like to spend those relaxed and doing homework etc rather than rushing around.