Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Sunday lunch trauma WIBU?

164 replies

Nerfbattles · 26/10/2015 11:11

Spent three hours cooking a ginormous Sunday lunch for the four of us yesterday, was sweating my arse off getting everything to come together and asked DP (sitting on sofa on his laptop) if he could please carve the chicken. Went back to dealing with everything else, couple of mins pass and he's still on laptop, I'm getting everything into dishes and as i dashed past living room door I said 'now' as I thought he hasn't realised I meant I needed it doing straight away although I had already said not long ago dinner was in 5 mins.

He then went ballistic saying how incredibly rude I was shouting now at him (I totally didn't shout!) I tried to explain I was only saying it as I thought he hadn't realised I meant could he do it straightaway but he was having none of it. Went on at me about being so rude and having a go until I started getting upset so then he had a go about me 'crying and sniffling' said I was trying to make myself out the victim when I was the one on the wrong.

He ended up storming out so I just fed my DS's as I really didn't want to eat by then. He slept on the sofa and didn't say a word this morning before leaving.

I feel he had a massive over reaction and ruined a lovely dinner I spent hours over and I've just spent an hour cleaning the kitchen this morning all for nothing. Was I BU? What do I do to fix it? I felt like apologising this morning until I started clearing up and now I'm just cross and dreading him coming home :-/

OP posts:

LuluJakey1 · 26/10/2015 14:04

Why did he have to be called to carve the chicken?

It's like a 1950s scenario.

I agree he should be helping but this the man carves the meat thing is one step for ward from neanderthal when he used to kill it, bring it home and tear it apart for his family.

Carve it yourself and get him to do something more useful. Or buy chicken portions from M and S and heat them up if you want to play the domestic martyr.

Notimefortossers · 26/10/2015 14:04

Aaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnddd here we go!! . . . Your typical MN LTB thread ;)

ledgeoffseason · 26/10/2015 14:06

She has already said she makes for her parents and for later in the week... So not just one meal for four people.

Marynary · 26/10/2015 14:07

He was very rude but I must admit I would find it irritating if someone fussed an flapped over sunday lunch for three hours and then demanded that I help NOW. Do you really have to make it all so complicated (i.e. are all the sauces and extras really necessary)?

expatinscotland · 26/10/2015 14:09

I love all the posts scolding the OP for the size of the meal and the time it took and that she is therefore, to some degree, responsible for an adult acting like a twat.

There will soon be someone along to suggest the poor lamb is depressed and you should get him to a GP or he's autistic.

I see dog obedience classes have already been suggested.

Sansoora · 26/10/2015 14:12

It's not a nice meal, its a buffet.

Its not. Its what people have day in and day out if thats the way they like to eat.

Nibledbyducks · 26/10/2015 14:35

OP your roast sounds lovely. If I were you I would throw a blanket, hot water bottle, and some meds at him, and then apologise again for snapping but adding that he wouldn't need to worry about you playing the victim again, because if he repeats that behaviour you simply won't pay any attention. (I would also call him a drama queen and stick my tongue out, but I'm immature :) ).

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 26/10/2015 14:36

Why did he have to be called to carve the chicken?

Maybe so he actually fucking contributed?

I'd have dumped the plate with the chicken on it on his lap if the ignorant twat had ignored me.....

That or stuck the carving fork in the top of his pointy head.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 26/10/2015 14:38

I must admit I would find it irritating if someone fussed an flapped over sunday lunch for three hours and then demanded that I help NOW.

You're another charmer then!!

You seem to have attracted all the entitled tossers today OP

Notimefortossers · 26/10/2015 14:38

Some of you MNetters are crrrrrrrraaaaazzzzzzyyyyyyy!

KatieLatie · 26/10/2015 14:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RabbitSaysWoof · 26/10/2015 14:44

I'd have dumped the plate with the chicken on it on his lap if the ignorant twat had ignored me.....

OP my ex behaved like this, it was horrible I felt like I couldn't raise anything even minor because it would need to be worth him storming to the pub over and ruining the whole day or next day for the sake of voicing one problem. I look back and wish I was less effected by it, I wish I'd called him out on being a giant fucking baby.

As for that roast it sounds lovely, every second thread on here recommends batch cooking, I always make loads too if I'm in the kitchen anyway makes sense.

Fugghetaboutit · 26/10/2015 14:49

Do people really make mash and roast potatoes?! Jeez what a faff!

LetGoOrBeDragged · 26/10/2015 14:52

This thread is making me fucking angry.

It does not matter how long it took the OP to make dinner. The point is she asked him for some help, having done everything else and he continued to sit on his arse, ignoring her, as if his laptop surfing is more important than anything she could possibly want.

Then he storms off and strops and sulks because she hasn't quietly tolerated this. He is punishing you so you will get back in your box and not expect anything from him and will be too scared of his moods to stick up for yourself. You will conclude that it is less hassle to do it all by yourself - which suits him.

He is a lazy fucker and a cunt and if you have any sense you will ltb. Sulky men are pathetic.

Polgara25 · 26/10/2015 14:53

His huffing was pathetic, really was.

However, you say he has IBS. Maybe he wasn't looking forward to that huge rich dinner as much as you thought?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 26/10/2015 14:55

Mash and roasties? Well you boil them a bit before you roast them anyway. Not much faff at all to do both kinds.

LetGoOrBeDragged · 26/10/2015 14:55

And as for the posters telling her to apologise - the 1950s called and would like their thread back!

He should be the one to apologise for being such an outrageous prick.

randallflagg1 · 26/10/2015 15:06

He is in the wrong here. Totally. He sounds like hard work tbh.

BabyGanoush · 26/10/2015 15:11

He sounds like a dick. And he doe snot appreciate the effort you took at all, so in your shoes I'd wonder why I and made the effort (and would happily do fish finger sandwiches for next weeks lunch. why not?)

One of my life's motto's is to only put effort into meals for people who appreciate the effort. And kids. Appreciative kids get extra pudding

Topseyt · 26/10/2015 15:15

I see no reason at all for OP to apologise.

My 3 DDs and DH all regularly procrastinate when called to help with dinner, or when I call them to eat. I regularly have to bellow "NOW!!!" at all of them (DH included). I get a bit of grumbling from them, but nothing on the scale of what OP's DP dished out.

It is rude to ignore a reasonable request, so don't feel you have to apologise if you end up calling them up on that behaviour.

As for IBS being a reason for his unreasonableness, that is a pathetic excuse. I have IBS, and I don't behave like that.

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 26/10/2015 15:19

Everything about your post would make me think you were referring to a grumpy hormonal teenage boy if you hadn't said he was your DP.

Once a very busy person has asked someone to do something twice, and a fairly minimal thing too, a bit of barking is forgivable in my opinion. There was nothing on that laptop that couldn't wait for a few minutes.

I'm not saying LTB, but it would give me food for thought - you're not married, you don't have kids with him, he's not pleasant company when ill and doesn't really take any steps to prevent himself being ill. Is he someone you can see yourself with in ten years? Maybe not LTB, but at least file it away for consideration in the LTB? file.

Inertia · 26/10/2015 15:23

Totally agree with Letgo.

It doesn't matter how much food was made, or how long it took, or how many people it fed, or which part he was asked to do.

He was just instantly snapped at by a nagging Harrison dragging him from sick bed. He was asked (nicely) to do one thing - the Op only said 'now' because he was being utterly ignorant and taking not a blind bit of notice, so she didn't know if he had understood.

Why the fuck should the Op have to put up with being shouted at, sneered at when she cried, and being harangued simply for asking her husband to do one thing? How on earth can people justify a man being bloody horrible to his wife by blaming her for cooking too much?

Inertia · 26/10/2015 15:25

He wasn't snapped at..

Inertia · 26/10/2015 15:27

Oh, missed that this is a Ltr and they are not his children.

But It seems that this is a regular pattern of behaviour from your other comments.

Does he have any good point s?

Fairenuff · 26/10/2015 15:39

I'm sorry that you thread has been all about other people's roast dinners OP.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread