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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenagers

81 replies

Weathergames · 22/10/2015 19:43

I am not BU but WHY when you ask them to do something and they sigh and moan, you ask them to do it properly and they roll their eyes and treat you like an utter nag and rush it and don't do it properly then you get them to come back to do it properly and they behave as if you are treating them like slave labour AngryAngry

DD (16) has just said her and her brothers (13 & 18) do ALL the housework.

"ALL" is empty and load the dishwasher, fold clean washing and keep rooms tidy (this is rarely adhered to) occasionally (once a month) ask her to clean bathroom sink.

ARGH?! Am I alone? Sad

OP posts:
Topseyt · 22/10/2015 20:04

Nope, you aren't alone.

Mine are the same. They also snipe amongst themselves as to who last did the job, who did what bit of it and who will do the next bit. You'd think they were toddlers.

laffymeal · 22/10/2015 20:06

The fight mine have every night to avoid emptying the dishwasher is so irritating.

BreakfastAtStephanies · 22/10/2015 20:12

YANBU. My DD ( 14 ) told me to " wash the bathroom " today. This is the one she shares with her DB ( 17 ) it was a real stinky mess and took me 2 hours to get gleaming. They also( like the PP's) argue about who did which bits of the dishwasher/washing up duties. I have asked DD 3 times to bring dirty crockery from her bedroom. Am running out of bowls in the kitchen. I could go on

Theoldcauliflower · 22/10/2015 20:12

Mine won't do a thing, they won't even pick up a glass they have used, just blame it on the other. They do my head in!

Topseyt · 22/10/2015 20:12

Mine also fight about who wipes and lays the table when I have called them, whilst I finish cooking dinner.

More than once I have snapped and told them that if they continue they will both eat their meal out on the drive. Then DH and I can have a peaceful meal.

They know I would carry it through, so they usually subside into just glowering at each other after that.

laffymeal · 22/10/2015 20:15

Ugh yeah the bogging food bowls in the bedroom, no amount of nagging seems to make any difference.

vdbfamily · 22/10/2015 20:17

Have you seen this.
Depends what you feel about financially rewarding kids for household chores but my brother has 4 boys and he has them queuing up to get the jobs done!!
www.gohenry.co.uk/

sarahsarah34 · 22/10/2015 21:26

I've had flu this week. DD made me a cup of tea yesterday. I dared to ask her if she'd make me one today "OMG I made you one yesterday, you can't be that ill I've been at school all day." Angry such a rewarding age.....

ExtraBlessings · 22/10/2015 21:33

I'm remembering how my siblings and I behaved as teenagers. We were awful. My excellent mother who worked full-time would come home exhausted and shout because we hadn't unstacked the dishwasher and we were sitting in a big mess of our own making.

When karma bites me it's gonna be horrendous.

Sorry!

IonaNE · 22/10/2015 21:46

To the OP and others who have replied "mine are like that, too" - were you (allowed to be) like that as a teenager, too? I don't have kids (never wanted any) but mine would be the same as I was: polite, helpful and hardworking at school. No other behaviour was tolerated at home and things like you describe would have been unthinkable.

dodobookends · 22/10/2015 22:25

They learn. My dd has - she's only been is student digs since September, and I popped down to see her last weekend. She made me a coffee and told me off when I put my mug down on the side without using a coaster!Grin

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/10/2015 22:38

My DS2 (14) swore to me today that he always puts the ketchup back in the fridge. He never does. His evidence to prove me wrong was that when he comes down for supper it's not still on the table..... Hmm

LavenderRain · 22/10/2015 22:41

Mine asked me last night if we could have some decent meals next week.Hmm
This week he has had to suffer Beef stew and dumplings then cauliflower cheese, then shepherds pie......

LavenderRain · 22/10/2015 22:44

(Bloody phone, posted too soon)
I honestly don't know how he copes with eating such crap! Hmm

sarahsarah34 · 23/10/2015 06:56

Lona - my parents didn't tolerate bad behaviour. My teen self didn't give a shit. If I were grounded id be out of the window, if my money was stopped I'd shoplift. I had very strict parents and I rebelled big time!
My DD was lovely, hardworking, polite and helpful till puberty. Now it's 50/50. Personally I find teenagers way more challenging than new burns, toddlers etc.

Oysterbabe · 23/10/2015 06:59

Change the WiFi password. They can then earn it by properly completing their chores.

Flambola · 23/10/2015 07:29

What a crock of shit LonaNe. You have no idea how your hypothetical children would have turned out.

junebirthdaygirl · 23/10/2015 07:52

We were exactly like this as teenagers. Drove my poor df mad. Lots of us so we all had different chores. No way on earth would we go past our assigned job. No dishwasher so one washed another dried.. My df could not understand how you could walk off after washing if drier had disappeared ( dodging of course). If my dm asked me to clean my room l would use every complaint and excuse under the sun. We were very respectful in every other way but hated work. All in 50s now with gleaming houses...theirs not mine.. Busy jobs and great care and respect for elderly dm. None of us ever got in trouble. No drugs or serious drinking and all did well at school. But chores NO WAY!! It's teenagers. Just let it run off your back. Chatting to friends in the same situation is the best therapy.

longtimelurker101 · 23/10/2015 08:00

I have one left at home, a bedroom dweller of 16. Why she spends so much time in a cess pit I know not. There were NO towels in the wash and none left in the airing cupboard when I went to replace some this morning. I know they are festering in there, probably covered in the same hair dye that was dripped all over the bathroom ( and the fecking landing carpet), she can't blame the others now....she may also find the wifi password changed till she gets all of her chores done, properly!

PositiveAttitude · 23/10/2015 08:14

Another here who reminds me frequently that by unloading the dishwasher once a day she is doing "All the housework" !! Hmm If only that was the only thing that needed doing!

Lona - words fail me!! What a patronising, stupid post!

longtimelurker101 · 23/10/2015 08:14

On the food thing, my dd thinks that as we live in North London so close to so many amazing take aways and restaurants that we shouldn't bother cooking ever, of course I would be paying, and the fact that ive had a beatiful kitchen recently put in to.enhance my love of cooking has passed her by.

She has on occasion turned her nose up at a dish and said: " well its not quite xyz is it.". Combine that with the eye rolling and I genuinely don't know how I haven't slapped her face, my mother would have !

Topseyt · 23/10/2015 08:18

Iona, bollocks.

My parents never tolerated bad behaviour. Nor do I. We are talking normal teenage stropping and sibling rivalry.

If you have never even had children you cannot possibly have a clue what you are talking about.

How can you possibly know what children you have never had would be like, let alone have the remotest idea of the challenges of parenting?

Schrodingersmum · 23/10/2015 08:20

Im with Oyster, turned the wifi off last week when I got fedup with rudeness, not doing homework, not getting up for school! Wow it really worked and all homework is up to date Grin

FuckyNell · 23/10/2015 08:22

My ds (almost 14 and hairy) does an AMAZING toddler strop which makes me laugh (in my head Grin ) throws himself on the floor arms and legs flailing "omg omg omg it's not faiiiir"

I video it and threaten Facebook Grin

diddl · 23/10/2015 08:22

"My DD ( 14 ) told me to " wash the bathroom " today. This is the one she shares with her DB ( 17 ) it was a real stinky mess and took me 2 hours to get gleaming."

So your daughter told you to lean a bathroom that you don't use & you did it??

Good grief!