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Original poster

Teenagers

81 replies

Weathergames · 22/10/2015 19:43

I am not BU but WHY when you ask them to do something and they sigh and moan, you ask them to do it properly and they roll their eyes and treat you like an utter nag and rush it and don't do it properly then you get them to come back to do it properly and they behave as if you are treating them like slave labour AngryAngry

DD (16) has just said her and her brothers (13 & 18) do ALL the housework.

"ALL" is empty and load the dishwasher, fold clean washing and keep rooms tidy (this is rarely adhered to) occasionally (once a month) ask her to clean bathroom sink.

ARGH?! Am I alone? Sad

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 23/10/2015 08:23

Like Lona I don't have kids. Unlike Lona I have had dealings with teenagers and remember the un-rose-tinted view of myself as a teenager.

I'm a Guide leader and the lengths they'll go to in order to avoid washing a plate or collecting the few twigs they think will cook their dinner are hilarious

ClareDeLune · 23/10/2015 08:27

LonaNE how your post has made me laugh. Perfectly obvious you've not had teens!

OP that's about the level of chores my teens are asked to do. One does it without complaining, the other goes on as though I'd asked her to become Cinderella. I've been too soft for too long and now the uncomplaining teen gets the moany teen's share of the pocket money ;)
I also know someone whose teens wouldn't do chores - she stopped their pocket money and employed a cleaner with it. They were totally nonplussed seeing their money paying for the cleaner :)

Ledkr · 23/10/2015 08:35

Grin at lonas fantasy children!
I reckon I had some of those many years ago.
My dd handed me an a4 peice of paper with pencil drawings and writing on it for my birthday last week. She then said "I feel a bit guilty" I shrugged.
She coukd have easily asked dh to pick something up or give her some money.
She also has tantrums of monumental proportions.
I use the Internet as a bribe for getting stuff done.
Does anyone else's teen eat weird stuff, in the absence of junk?
Dd makes buttercream and just eats it!
I have many hiding places.

ghostyslovesheep · 23/10/2015 08:40

Ignoring the fantasy kids for a moment ...

My eldest (13) shouted at me the other day that I work with kids with problems and thus I should be more sympathetic to her when she behaves like a shit in school and gets detention.

'god mum you'd THINK somebody who works with disadvantaged kids would be able to understand!!!'

They also tell me I am lazy when I don't pick THEIR dirty pants up or tidy their rooms

I laugh and drink gin - they will leave home eventually

fieldfare · 23/10/2015 08:50

Fantasy kids are awesome. They'll excel in all things, be sweetness and light and not give you a moment's concern. Yup, I'll have two of those please.

However in the real world........

I'd be finding what their currency was - wifi, cash, lifts, expensive hobbies, and stating that unless they pulled their weight, graciously, then they would stop.

Dd (13), is currently not receiving pocket money, and I'm not buying her any makeup, until she does her chores without a performance. She has to feed the dog without prompting, keep her bathroom tidy and room reasonably presentable, take up the bins once a week and load the dishwasher after dinner. Nothing too onerous.

If she was demanding that I clean her bathroom, that I don't even use, she'd be getting short shrift. I can't believe the pp did that! For two hours!

Ledkr · 23/10/2015 08:52

ghostly I also work with troubled kids. I used to think their disgusting habits were due to their previous exoeriences of neglect or abuse.
I realise now that's not the case as I peel dds sanitary towel from her knickers which have been flung into the laundry basket Angry

nooka · 23/10/2015 08:54

My two are way nicer than I was at their age! Although this was mainly because my mother and I got on very badly, so badly that my father agreed to send me to boarding school at my request!

Generally so long as they get advance warning they're pretty helpful. This week they've both cooked an evening meal, and at the weekend they cleaned the inside of the house while dh and I did outside chores. They do have pit like bedrooms and ds is an expert at getting his sister to do things he should do himself. Neither are capable of emptying the dishwasher unasked.

They live a pretty relaxed life though and I'm sure that makes a big difference (we're out of the UK and in a mainly non exam based school system, plus at 15 and 16 they aren't swamped with homework)

nooka · 23/10/2015 08:56

Ledkr my ds eats dry pasta (loads of it, he likes to carry small plastic bags full in his pockets too, just in case!).

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 23/10/2015 08:57

Spend their pocket money on a cleaner - that's fucking genius! God I wish I'd thought of that. I'm another one just drinking through the pain until mine leaves home the filthy lazy little sod Angry

GnomeDePlume · 23/10/2015 09:01

The great laundry debate:

Me: DS, have you any laundry in your room?
DS: No
One day later:
Me: DS, have you any laundry in your room?
DS: No
Another day later and DS is now wearing 4 year old jeans so his ankles show:
Me: DS, have you any laundry in your room?
DS: No
Me: You must do, shall I come into your room and check?

5 minutes later a tsunami of laundry comes out of his room. The washing machine will now be on constantly for a day just to catch up.

I know he should be doing his own laundry but we do try to be efficient with laundry as when everyone is home the washing machine has to be on 2/3 times per day just to keep on top of it all.

Ledkr · 23/10/2015 09:02

nooka are yiu sure yours aren't virtual kids too? Grin

Gatekeeper · 23/10/2015 09:07

I remember earlier this year I was lying on my stomach across the beanbags absolutely in agony with a gallstone attack and I asked dd (13) to get me a hot water bottle. All she did was moan on and then ask me to make her a cuppa tea because she'd done PE at school and 'was exhaaaaaausted" - the weasel!

Ledkr · 23/10/2015 09:10

The lengths she will go to just to outwit me on Internet use is amazing. She could work for mi5

GruntledOne · 23/10/2015 09:21

I used to find my brilliant impersonation of Harry Enfield's Kevin the Teenager extremely useful. The realisation that they were becoming a stereotype sometimes did wonders. Mind you, to this day my DC think the dishwasher loads and unloads by magic.

Tarrarra · 23/10/2015 09:25

makes notes

I am struggling with the teenage years. I can't watch Kevin and Perry anymore because it's too close to the truth...

nooka · 23/10/2015 09:27

No they are flesh and blood honest Grin ds and I do a martial arts class together. Kicking each other on a regular basis probably helps our relationship!

maybebabybee · 23/10/2015 09:34

I don't have teenagers myself yet but I have a DB 14 and a DSIS 17 who I am starting to think are quite good next to some of these! DB has form for mouldy cups of tea next to the bed and doing a lot of arguing back (you know how 14 year old boys know everything Hmm) and DSIS is currently being totally wet over some boy - but I see now they are not that bad!

sarah I am Shock at your DD refusing to make you tea when you were ill!!

Wine and Brew to all of you struggling, I am in awe.

Owllady · 23/10/2015 09:37

I love it when they say
'This house is such a mess' when all the mess is theirs! :o

Owllady · 23/10/2015 09:38

Kevin and Perry was a factual documentary
Mine tell me I'm old too. I'm 37 and they are 16 & 14!

MummaV · 23/10/2015 10:08

I'm dreading the teenage years with DD, luckily she's only 6mo so got a long wait!

I was all in all an alright teenager, mum worked away a lot though so I was often home alone from the age of 14. I knew all the mess was mine and it was always cleaned up before mum got back from whatever conference she'd been at.

My room was a pig sty and stank of cigarette smoke, luckily years of smoking ruined my mums sense of smell and as my room was in the attic and she had no reason to go up there she was never really aware of the scale of the mess.

I know I would have done more if the internet or money had been at stake. Withholding such things may be a way forward!

myotherusernameisbetter · 23/10/2015 10:09

Does the phrase "Pringle tube full of pee" mean anything to anyone?

I'll leave it at that.

Ledkr · 23/10/2015 10:25

Yep

Owllady · 23/10/2015 10:30

Pringles tubes? I raise you bedroom bin Confused

longtimelurker101 · 23/10/2015 11:17

I remember that thread, made me realise that although DS was incredibly slovenly ( plates under his bed which brought mice into our house), he wasn't THAT bad.

Has anyone else's child suggested they get a cleaner when you ask them to do basic household things like hoovering the living room?

nokidshere · 23/10/2015 13:59

My two boys are not bad on the whole. The 17 year old will do what is asked of him but doesn't generally do anything that is not asked. The 14 year old often helps out without me asking. Their rooms (which I don't go into) vary between disgusting and passable. And anyone who moans about something that needs doing is the one who has to do it.

Over the past few years though we have had the rule that for everytime they say no to me or don't do something they are asked I say no to them when they want something. It's worked well and now it's rare ??

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