to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

[TheStripyGruffalo]

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

and why be offensive about it Anthony Blanche?

Yes do substitute 'less academically able' as it doesnt have the same meaning as 'stupid' does it?
I am pretty sure my 'stupid' DD would score higher than you in an EQ test anyway .

Because state school made life hell for my SEN son and for us. Their lack of understanding and lack of desire to support my son was staggering. Since we moved him to a specialist independent life has improved dramatically for all of us.

No, I think those posters enthusing about the better children and better morals in the independent sector genuinely believe it.

Well, the joke's on them if they choose to send their DCs to an independent school for those reasons. I have attended both private and state schools and can say from experience this is not the case.

However, it is also pretty foolish and unfair to think that by choosing to send your DCs to state school, you are 'better' than parents who choose to send their DCs to private school, which was sort of implied in your comment about not wanting to mix with attendees of private schools or their parents.

Feel free to interpret my comments however you like. I don't think I implied that at all.

I am glad my son doesn't have to be around people who refer to others as being stupid.

'substitute the words "less educationally able" '
Nope, still bollox. What about the child who is exceptionally artistic, or can fix anything mechanical, but is hopeless at maths and english? They're less good at maths and english, not 'less able'.

I'm a teacher. I taught in the state system for 24 years, then moved to work in an independent school. Clearly I'm the same teacher, so not 'better'. However, I am allowed to do a better job in my current school. I'm not bothered with unnecessary box-ticking paper work, I'm trusted to know what is best for the students I teach (and, as a Head of Dept, those for whom I am responsible) and my biggest class is 14 so I can Gve proper, individual tuition and detailed, effective marking.
If I hadn't moved, I'd have given up teaching, so nobody would have my expertise. I recognise the unfairness of the system (I'm a proper lefty, as are most of m colleagues, perhaps surprisingly) but I'm afraid the state system is broken and I couldn't stay in it any longer. It's lost sight of what matters and treats its best resource (staff) appallingly. The pupils in my (non-selective) school recognise their good fortune.
As for affording it, I am a single parent and my teaching salary covers the bills and let's us have holidays. If I had a partner earning even a quite basic professional salary, school fees at a small independent (they are t all Eton) would be easily affordable.

I said I didn't want my children mixing with people who think it's ok to refer to children as "stupid" or to want their kids educated away from "stupid" children. I certainly didn't say that all parents/children at private schools think that.

Why is it offensive to tell the truth??

Some people are stupid, some people are not beautiful, some people are tall, some people are tone deaf, some people are really bad at running... So what? Everyone is different, not everyone can be academically clever, a professional sportsman, a model or a world renowned musician...

Not all private schools are selective, if my children had turned out to be stupid they would be at a non selective school. No big deal.

Oh grow up. You know damn well that the issue is your use of the word "stupid".

I said I didn't want my children mixing with people who think it's ok to refer to children as "stupid" or to want their kids educated away from "stupid" children. I certainly didn't say that all parents/children at private schools think that.

I thought that was exactly what you were implying; that all parents/children at private schools think like that. Clearly I misunderstood you, my apologies. I took offence as I don't want to be lumped in with people who say things / think things like that if I choose to send my DC to private school.

anthonyblanche a non academic child is not 'stupid' thank you.
You seem quite stupid, socially, tbh. Have you had many social problems to do with your unpleasant attitude?

Lisbeth for all the idiots who wouldn't want your daughter mixing with them there are plenty who wouldn't dream of calling her stupid. I'm sure your daughter is great for lots of reasons. One of the most unpleasant people I have ever had the misfortune to meet had one of the highest scores on the MENSA test (and told everybody...which kind of proves my point!)

No I don't Evil. Despite what someone (maybe you?)'said upthread, my use of the word stupid meant nothing more than "people who are less academically gifted"' it certainly wasn't a reference to any SEN or disability, that is something which has been read into the word I used.

I like to consider myself a "sensible" person - as is Dh - and our reasons are nothing to do with extra-curriculars or facilities. Nor are they to do with snob factors.

Put simply, the SEN provision in our county is terrible and we wouldn't have sent our gifted but ASD son to any of the four local state secondaries that between us we have worked in (all Ofsted outstanding or good).

We couldn’t be more delighted with the teaching, pastoral care, SEN dept and behaviour at his non-selective, very average on paper independent school.

Oh and, yes, 7 years of secondary fees is cheaper than moving to the catchment of our most highly sought after state school (which we still didn't rate).

anyway lets be honest, just because someone pays for them to be educated, doesnt make kids more intelligent or super academic does it?

That is why there are so many private schools for ....er....'less academically able' rich kids isn't it?

Omg, the professionally offended mumsnet crowd are out in force this pm.

Anthony, if you really don't get it then here it is - children who are less able are not "stupid". "Stupid" is not really a very nice word to use about a child. Less academic children are still very capable of learning and making progress and their existence does not mean that other children in the same school will fail to make progress. Children with learning difficulties or SEN are not stupid.

We've chosen the private route for a number of reasons. Having looked round both state & private I just cannot see how a class of 30 (state) with 1 teacher and 1 assistant can compete with 18-20 so class sizes is the main reason. Secondly we want them to have an education where passing exams is treated as the bare minimum - we want them to be inspired and challenged o go further. I especially want them to have the opportunity to study classics and dh wants an amazing science education. The facilities for the latter are amazing at the private school. Thirdly the extra curricular stuff is all in one place, I don't want to have to ferry the children between towns to get to hockey, I want to be able to pick them up at 5. I want them to be in an environment where it's cool to be clever and to succeed and odd not too.

We can afford it because we run our own business which we work extremely hard to make successful. We made financial decisions when younger to be able to aim towards this kind of life. We both bought a property young and we are mortgage free. We did't have children until we were very financially secure. If I'm honest though we both also Come from wealthy backgrounds and we know that if our business went belly up either set of grandparents would pay for them.

and that expression 'professionally offended' is usually trotted out by thick unpleasant bullies after they have been quite purposefully offensive.

Actually I used to send my kids to independent schools but the rampant drugs problems and some of the rather dodgy teaching standards started to put me off so we fled to the state sector for a bit of normality.

(I have taught in both sectors)

Because my DS is autistic and struggles when there are alot of people around and his small private school has 10 children in the class, plus very good SEN provision. Because the local school (the only one we are in the catchment for ) is failing and when we went to the pre-school attached to it for the year before he would have gone into reception the Manager opined that DS was 'a bit weird' (that is an actual quote by the way).

And because right now we can afford it. It is the right decision for us, without doubt.

Always, yes, I do know somebody who has sent their children for that reason. Our DCs were friends and so were we, that is until I chose to send mine to a state school with a large intake from the local council estate and my friend was horrified because of who they would mix with and what people would think of them when they found out what school they went to. Hers went private and I took the opportunity to let the friendship drift apart.

is that so Lisbeth? I think you are the one who is bullying because you don't agree with something I said. People are entitled to hold different opinions you know.