to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

[TheStripyGruffalo]

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

I'm not so sure it "looks good on CVs" anymore though. most people don't give a crap in the industry I work in and many big corporates have targets for state school graduate recruitment, as do universities. After first graduate job nobody cares, I'd say.

Ds goes to an independent special school but not paid for by us.
He's a school aged child in a buggy, nutella.

Aha, but you do tend to be part of an "old boys' network" if you have gone private.

In my industry, I bump into loads of people I was at school with and it makes life a bit easier ifyswim.

I've also had school aged kids in a buggy due to medical problems and disability-invisible disability and medical probs!

For at least some of the people I know who have dc at private school, I think it's because they went private, all their friends ditto, and it's just what they know and expect.

I'm always a bit surprised by the 'because my child is very academic' argument. I'd have thought there'd be far more sense in sending an average / tending to fall behind child private, as they'd be more likely to benefit from the extra help, surely.

If you're the type who'll walk A grades regardless, it seems like you're more likely to benefit from the more hands off approach of the state system - based at least on the fact that for any given set of grades, state school pupils go on to do better at university. But then I would say that, given my dd is at a very middling comp . . .

My mum said she sent me to private school because she saw an episode of Grange Hill and didn't want her daughter going to "a school like that"

She is also an insufferable snob, so there's that.

Because they believe that in order to be 'successful' they need to be better than other people, and that this 'betterness' is created by a private education. In fact the 'betterness' is an illusion instilled by the institutions themselves and has little to do with true success in life, which has little relation to money or status.

" because she saw an episode of Grange Hill "

Sorry that was directed at Nutella who stated that the children at private school were better, not at all private school users, the majority of which do not think they are better than others, but have chosen according to their child's needs and the situation at the time.

Fewer stupid children at (selective) private schools, and certainly much better behaviour in the classroom. A combination of those two factors plus the superior sporting, musical and art facilities on offer made it a no brainier for us and our DD and DS.

Why wouldn't anyone want to give their children the best educational opportunities?

I went to private primary for 5 years and state for 2 so saw both. In private school I had a class of 8 and in state it was 30. All other things being equal, of course you get a better education with those ratios. All in all, there was a wider range of activities in private but imo it bred classism.

because Surrey County Council failed to allocate my 4 year old a Reception place and when they finally deigned to, it was a failing school 7 miles from where we lived, in the opposite direction from where we had to travel onto to work.

Exactly what I would be worried about fedup. The system is bollocks. For me, it has nothing to do with who my DC might mix with and everything to do with the system.

Agree with pps who say spending thousands on your DCs education is really no different to spending thousands moving to the 'right' catchment area.

FartemisOwl and others. A very good point that re the being bullied if you are a bit geeky and want to do well, this is what happened to me at my state catholic school many years ago i was bullied and pulled to bits because of my academic interests. I did not want that to happen to my children for the one thing. The other was simply the quality of the education and there wasn't that much of a contest there.

Yes in the ideal world the state should be equal but it seems to never be so.

One thing I'd like to ask the MN crew is how the hell these days do you afford it?. We live in quite an affluent area, sky high house prices etc but for a decent local indie for the prep school its now £13,898.00 PA and the upper school £15,423.00 PA!. Per child.

Rich grandparent's, lottery winners, bank robbers, anyone?.

LeftMyRidingCrop

So you also think the op made up c) ?

The nonsense in the op is just irritating, as it the 'avoiding the plebs' shtick.

If my DC want to avoid the plebs they'd have to be adopted as well.
A few numbnuts chose private schools for snobby reasons I'm sure.
But, having had children in state and private, and having been to a state school while my DH went to a private school - as the son of a teacher there - it's way more complicated than that.

But is Sunday and bored people enjoy a state/private shitstorm. They get to air all of their petty private prejudices. Again.

I'm off to watch Ireland. Come on !

Fewer stupid children at (selective) private schools

Nice.

Two professional salaries is how we afford it justaboy

Our income is high enough that we can still live a comfortable life on what's left after school fees.

I'm genuinely intrigued to know what 'similar morals' look like.

A friend sent her dd to a private school for a while because she has complex needs which were not being met in state schools. Turned out her private education did nothing for her unique needs either do she now home educates. She did it, as I'm sure others do, because she felt it was best for her child.

My boss (ex director of public health, very high achieving) went to a state school and her elder sister went to a private one. She believes her state education equipped her far better than her sister to deal with people of all backgrounds and ultimately therefore made her more resilient to some of life's injustices. She cited some of the negative associations with state education as a reason for her success which I found quite interesting.

I was educated at an inner city comprehensive school and met with some of the challenges described by others in this thread. But I also had amazing teachers who instilled some important values in their pupils about embracing different cultures and backgrounds and overcoming challenges.

Because I am not rich enough to buy him a place at the amazing state school down the road from the private school. The average house price in the catchment area is around £2million. I could not afford that. It must have an incredible diversity of people!

Of course if I had been that wealthy and bought a place in the catchment, I could be swanning around now saying how I simply wanted my young to mix with everyone and was in principle against people buying a place in schools without any irony.

I think they should do away with catchment areas and accept a certain amount of applications with a waiting list and then close the book. It would ensure the very wealthy don't hog the best state schools. Or maybe others think this should be the case and those less well heeled than those in this state school catchment should have to attempt to access similar education by paying fees.

*Fewer stupid children at (selective) private schools

Nice.*

True though - the clue is the 'selective' bit.

I went to state school and intended DC to as well but DC1 had a disastrous time at primary resulting in his lovely year 2 teacher saying if you can afford to send him privately then do.

The local comprehensive has a daily search on the way in for knives

I don't give a toss about whether it looks good or not or who they mix with although prefer no knives at 13 and they all have friends outside of school.

If I had a half decent state school near me they would be there like a shot. For us it's certainly not about 'betterness' more about doing what you can for your kids in the situation you are in.

We have afforded it as we have a household income in the high six figures. Others get help from family etc.

My kids are thriving at the local private school so we are happy with our choice. If I thought the local comp was a better school, I'd move them.

Because we live abroad and DC can't go to a local school as they would never be able to learn the language. It's one that you need to practice from birth.

Evil maybe it's not nice, but it's true. There is a huge range of abilities out there in both adults and children so pretending that stupid children or adults don't exist is delusional. If our children hadn't passed the entrance test for the school they are at, we would have sent them elsewhere. Presumably to somewhere which doesn't select on ability.

I just find it sad that people would think my dd was a 'stupid' child and wouldn't want their child to be around her, just because she wouldn't score well on an IQ test

"Why wouldn't anyone want to give their children the best educational opportunities?"

But you assume that private education gives children the best educational opportunities and millions of people disagree with you.