Clearly iabu and my judgey pants are on

[m0therofdragons]

I'm on a housing association fb page that's run by a friend. Most members are living in ha as that's the point but a few of us are on it for other reasons. It's usually a supportive community page with a bit of chat. Friend often puts questions to start a conversation and today's question is how many children do you have?
The answers have shocked me. Most are more than 4 with quite a few with 7 and 9.
I can't help thinking that if you asked people who don't live in ha housing in this area how many dc they have the answers would mostly be 2 or 3.
Suddenly I'm feeling all dm but it's hard not to think that having a dc every 3 years and living in ha has become a lifestyle option for some and that seems wrong to me.
I absolutely think ha is essential and people work very hard for too little money but that doesn't mean you can just keep having babies. Well actually it apparently does.
I just always assumed it was the dm making daft headlines but it seems it may actually be true.

gosh
do you have nothing better to do

There are very few families with 7 or more children claiming benefits in the UK. Clearly your HA has most of them.

Do you think the poor should be sterilized?

YANBU at all - too few people taking personal responsibility these days.

However you are going to get totally flamed on here.

Oh it's you.

You are on one today. Fat people and the poor... immigrant thread next then...

Why are you on the page?

What's it got to do with social housing? Do you live in one of those mythological Northern towns where you can have a council house as big as you want for the asking?

I know I'll get flamed. No I don't think people should be sterilised and I'm not living in my ivory tower. We struggled to afford 3 dc until I recently returned to work (before that childcare would have been more than I earned). We planned 2 dc but number 2 was twins so have 3. A huge financial impact on us but luckily we have been able to cope.
I just feel people need to act responsibly and be responsible for their actions in an age where birth control is so readily available.

I have 5 children and live in council housing.

We are here after months in a refuge for our own safety.

I had to up sticks and leave with nothing but the clothes on our backs and start our lives in a new area from scratch.

It wasn't exactly a lifestyle choice, but thanks for the judgement.

As I said in my op I know I'm being u so need to have a mn talking to. This kind of dm rant is not usually me.
I'm on the page as my friend set it up and the housing is walking distance from me. It's all about community and I don't have a problem with ha and think it's essential in this day and age. Doesn't mean I can't feel it's being abused.

Well you say in your title that clearly yabu. I guess we can wrap it up here then.

Elsa - your family is exactly what ha should be there for! That's not what I'm judging.
It's the "I've got 6 dc and one on the way but ha won't find us a bigger place until baby is born - we need to be settled before baby comes! Can't believe they'd do this! " (actual quote from page.) I guess I assumed it was only in the dm I'd see it.

The houses are being lived in so they are not being abused.

Why do you feel they are? You know SH is not dependant on benefits don't you?

Maybe that is because it's the only way they can get a house large enough? Private landlords wouldn't want to rent to such large families perhaps? Not many property developers build large enough houses either.

I do realise that and I'm sure there's a lot more to it all. It's also probably very few percentage wise just they're the ones shouting the loudest this morning.
To be honest, forget the ha part, I'm fairly at anyone with 9 dc - exhausted thinking about it. They are far stronger women than me!

Seriously? This is how you choose to spend your Sunday?

I'd be interested to know what the average stock size of this ha is that they are able to accommodate so many huge families. The majority of sh is 3 apartment. Or are most of them living in overcrowded situations?

Actually op if you look at their website you might be able to find the housing stats and let me know.

You don't have to have a child every 3 years to live in social housing. You can just live in social housing.

I love the idea that having babies to stay on benefits is the easy option. I've got 2 kids not 9, and going to work is a bloody holiday.

I don't get the problem?

If a family has say, 3 kids and a 3 bedroom house, why does it matter if they have more kids, as long as they're not demanding a bigger home?

Unless they're expecting a separate bedroom for every child, YABVU.

There may well be blended families. So may have 7 between then, but not all under the same roof all the time.