Clearly iabu and my judgey pants are on

[m0therofdragons]

I'm on a housing association fb page that's run by a friend. Most members are living in ha as that's the point but a few of us are on it for other reasons. It's usually a supportive community page with a bit of chat. Friend often puts questions to start a conversation and today's question is how many children do you have?
The answers have shocked me. Most are more than 4 with quite a few with 7 and 9.
I can't help thinking that if you asked people who don't live in ha housing in this area how many dc they have the answers would mostly be 2 or 3.
Suddenly I'm feeling all dm but it's hard not to think that having a dc every 3 years and living in ha has become a lifestyle option for some and that seems wrong to me.
I absolutely think ha is essential and people work very hard for too little money but that doesn't mean you can just keep having babies. Well actually it apparently does.
I just always assumed it was the dm making daft headlines but it seems it may actually be true.

Maybe some people are giving the total number of kids that they have which may include step children who don't live with them permanently? Or some may have grown up children who no longer live with them, and younger kids from a current relationship.

Its like the daily mail in here today.

Just to point out the obvious, no contraception is 100% effective eyeing mahusive pregnant belly and pro-choice presumably doesn't mean enforced abortions unless you can meet certain criteria, to most people anyway.
Being a single mum of 4 was not a lifestyle choice for me, but it is what's happened.

I'm really really surprised by this. I used to work for a housing association that specialises in the BME sector - specifically built houses that could accommodate multi generational living. And even these really large houses didn't seem to be occupied by families with 4 plus children - never mind the 7 plus in your op.

Are you sure you've not inadvertently joined a group specifically set up for large families?

They may have lots of children but they will probably still be squashed into a 3 bed house so I don't know why it bothers you? You don't get evicted when your youngest turns 5 or whatever so I doubt they are having lots of kids to stay in the house.

Yes birth control is readily available, but guess what? I've fallen pregnant once on the pill and once using condoms. I'm pregnant now with my fourth after being refused sterilization by the GP. We have always private rented, but we live in a two bed and can't afford to pay any more. So I have just applied for social housing. We will continue to work as we do now but the reduced rent will make it possible for us to continue to support our large family. You can't assume that everyone with lot's of kids has been irresponsible!!

I live in a housing association house. I only know 2 families with more than 4 children (one 7 and one 10) but these families live in 4 bedroomed houses and are most certainly not the norm. Most of us work and have an 'average' number of children (I've only got 1). Yabu.

Then again I live in a town where there is plenty of empty social houses, certainly no shortage.

Who said you have to be on benefits to live in social housing?

Yanbu but obviously you are not allowed to say that or you will have all the liberals pants in a twist..

I've just checked back and I don't think anyone has mentioned benefits, Tigger?

Are you sure that some of these children aren't step children ?

Well, as you say, you already know you're being U. You have three. So presumably if you had two you'd have your judgy pants hoicked over those who chose to have more than two? And I guess you wouldn't like to be judged by those who think anything over two is unnecessary?

The Tories are clamping down on housing benefit, council tax benefit, and other things. Presumably when these babies start leaving, people will have to downsize and downsize again to avoid bedroom tax. Large families on low incomes have a lot of headaches coming, it's not really fair to pile on them.

You've started a thread saying you know you're being U. What did you want from it? Did you want people to come together and tell you how right you are to be U?

guess what I dont give a fuck if some woman in your HA has seven or nine children, except to feel a bit sorry for her.
If I even believed you that is.

Gosh poor people really take the piss don't they? Bring back the workhouses I say! For the parents AND the children.

Are you trying to raise the more general point that it is difficult to understand why some people continue to have more and more babies that they can ill afford / are unable to support OP?

do you know what OP you will get shit on this thread but I kind of get where you are coming from

I am as lefty as you can get and am hugely in support of council housing i think there should be lots more. i also fully support benefits. but I see it every day. I live on a HA /council estate where everyone sort of knows eachother. and there are loads of people around here with 5 / 6 / 7 kids who don't work, there is one mum at the school who is pregnant with her 8th

so I know full well it happens

I don't judge though cos i just think, seriously they must have problems to be keep having babies with no proper income. and living in a too small house. as this estate is mostly 1 - 4 bed flats and houses so god knows what cramped conditions they live in

trouble is these families are the kind of thing the sun and the fucking mail jump all over to "prove" everyone on benefits and/or in council houses are feckless and lazy

You know you're being very unreasonable.
0/10.

I don't understand the link to social housing OP. Are you making assumptions that SH is linked to benefits?

YANBU, contraceptive is widely available and free. Used properly, the chances on unplanned pregnancy are slim, using two methods together further decreases the chance.

Many do it as benefits increase with every child and and it avoids the need to move from income support to job seekers.

Not all people in HA will be on benefits but most will. You'd have to have a very high oncome not to qualify for tax credits or child benefit with more than two children let alone five plus.

Difficult to get through any thread without the word 'judge' being slung around. You're being judgy, case closed, I don't like what you're saying so you have no right to debate it.
I know I am fortunate to have a happy life, job I like, happy family etc and much of it is my upbringing. I have many friends not so lucky and some more so. I would consider myself pretty un judgemental. However, do I think it is wise to continue to have as many children as you want without the means to support them, or without the opportunity to make their life better than yours has been? No.

90 women in 1000 become pregnant using the pill in one year. 200 in 1000 women become pregnant using barrier methods each year . . . it is more common than people think.

You've made just about the most judgemental statement I've ever heard CookieMonster

TheBitchOfDestiny has the OP even mentioned benefits?