To say men playing video games is childish?

[PampersNotPampered]

My DP is the most wonderful person, and the video games don't annoy me to an extent of anger, but they do raise my eyebrow a lot.

DP is only 22 but I think this is still too old to be playing games, although I understand men more than twice his age do. I once asked DP ''aren't you a little old for those?" And his reply was a very calm 'no, it's a stress reliever and my boss plays it too' (his boss is 44 with a wife and 2 DCs).

What cringes me out the most is him swearing and talking to other players over the zombie games etc, who are mores often that not less than half his age or not much older than half his age! Yes, really.

I understand that I'm lucky he's the type to ask 'do you want me to come off this?' And often I just say no darling. This is because I can get on with other things. Even I ask him to come off, he will and you wouldn't have known he even liked playing because he acts so normal once he's off.

My DP is a 'normal' bloke in all aspects apart from the silly video games. I just wish he'd stick to fishing instead lol.

AIBU to say grown men playing video games is a little bit eye brow raising worthy? I understand it is a stress buster, and perhaps I'm just a moody cow and need to be put in my place by fellow MNetters.

YABVVU. I am not in to video games myself but I am always exasperated when people start making judgments about other peoples pastimes because they deem them to be "childish." Witness the comments you often get on here if someone mentions an adult who is enthusiastic about, say, train sets or remote control toys for example.

If your DP is only 22 then I am guessing that you too are still very young. IME it is the young who are most conscious of seeming "immature". Once you get a bit older you will be more confident about doing whatever you think is fun and stop worrying about what other people think.

I remember when DP was 30 I bought him a cricket game for his birthday, think of subbuteo but with little cricketers. We were at his parents for the weekend and when his younger DB and SIL arrived the SIL (about 23 at the time) looked shocked and started to sneer at a 30 year old "playing games". However, before she could finish the DB (her DH) was down on his hands and knees enthusiastically joining in, as was 60-something FIL!

I recently got DP an Xbox One for his 35th birthday. He loves it. He doesn't play 24/7 and doesn't pick it over spending time with me, so I don't really care. It's his hobby.

Many video games are produced for adults now. It has moved on from being a children's past time.

I'm baffled that people watch soap operas, do jigsaws or, and this is something I never imagined any adult would do until I read mumsnet, do colouring in. But to each their own fun.

I am amazed though that nobody has started a thread asking if colouring books aren't a bit childish, when such threads crop up sporadically for video games.

YABU

I don't think people are listening. I've clearly explained that what really bothers me is him speaking with young children and often in a nasty, competitive sense. He is a man! Play the bloody game, but don't speak to kids.

YABU

Some men are just dicks when they're playing their games, they don't care who they're talking to when they get angry!! You'd think there was actually a real life person taking shots at them...

If your DP is behaving in an abusive manner towards children then I see your concern, but there is a certain level of jibes and chat that's normal and accepted in online gaming, especially in 18 rated games - it's really parents' responsibility to make sure their children are safe.

People are listening.

Your title 'AIBU to say men playing video games is childish'

MN - YABU because xyz

You 'waaah that isn't what I said'

Now that IS childish

Gaming is a great leveller - I belong to a guild in a game I play. We have members ranging from about 13/14 up to players in their 70s. Children, parents, grandparents, men and women from all walks of life. There are very few other hobbies or situations in life where you find that kind of a mix.

YABU I'm 29 I play, my DH 31 plays and my DD 12 plays and sometimes we all play together. Its great bonding I can chat with DD about her interests because I'm interested too. I've made very good friends playing games. In fact I made my best friend (she's 23 and about to do her masters in a medical field) playing an online virtual pets game which is mostly frequented by over 16's.

It's not hurting anyone and as for speaking to kids I can't see anything wrong with that it's out in public with monitored chats and nothing dodgy is going on. Besides sometimes you need to talk with the other players also from the way you describe the games I'm guessing they should be over 18 to be playing it anyway.

Dara has it for me.

I don't think people are listening. I've clearly explained that what really bothers me is him speaking with young children and often in a nasty, competitive sense. He is a man! Play the bloody game, but don't speak to kids.

But in your OP you did say AIBU to say grown men playing video games is a little bit eye brow raising worthy? So it seems that you have only moved on to emphasise that it is the contact with children that bothers you because you have got a bit of a pasting over judging adults for playing games.

Anyway, wrt to the contact with the children I think you are still unreasonable. For a start - how do you know that the other players are really children. I know nothing of these games but assumed that players are anonymised to a certain extent. And even if they are children, their parents have allowed them to enter an arena where they have contact with others of all ages so why shouldn't they be treated as equals with the same interest?

You do know that there are more woman gamers than men (was shocked when I found that out) think the ratio is 52/48
I'm 54 and love a good lego ps4/wii game or tomb raider.

im not 54 only 53

Well I'm in my 40s and I play, as does my husband in his 50s.

As for playing with kids, I heard one little squeaky voice saying 'I'm going to tea bag your nanna man' when he died on a game. I hear more bad language and attitude from the younger lot.

If you don't play then that's fine, your loss but seriously, stick your judgements.

I think lots of hobbies can seem boring, silly or childish to people who don't share that interest.
My 38 year old husband enjoys running round after a ball. I don't get that but it makes him happy.

How do you know how old the other players are? My brother plays a lot of Call of Duty. He sounds about 13 on the phone, but he's actually in his 20s and sounds normal in real life!

It's really up to the parents of these kids whether they want them communicating with grown men. Why should your DP not play because there are some silly parents around? Besides, part of the fun of those multiplayer games is goading each other and having a bit of banter.

Then again, I'm a 32 year old mum who loves to relax by pretending to shoot people so what do I know?

My husband is 37 and usually has a game for christmas, he can go months and months without turning his xbox on. It doesn't annoy me because it never interferes with family time as if he plays on it it is at night when our DC are in bed, he doesn't go out drinking, smoke, spend any moeny on himself really so I really can't complain about it.. He does however have a friend who has 2 young children and gaming is basically his life. He has his own games room that his children are not allowed in and spends the majority of time that he is in the house playing on some console or other, an no one (his wife or kids) can get in the way of this!

Yes, its down to the parents to decide what games their children play. And if they let them play 18 rated games then they should expect 18 rated language.

YABU. I'm 22 and I love playing games. I also read comic books and graphics. If it was childish there wouldn't be 18 rated games would there?

I understand that adults are allowing their children to play these games but despite this, I think my DP should take a moral high ground and not swear and belittle children!

Your title says that you think men playing video games is childish, now you've changed it to the fact you're worried he's talking to kids? Are they 18 games he plays? If so, it's not his job to police people who play- and if he intimidates a child then maybe they'll steer clear of him.

Yabvu- it's just a hobby. Would you raise your eyebrows to women playing?

If they're old enough to swear at people and sling insults they're old enough to take it. It's up to their parents to police it.

Yes, I'd raise my eyebrow to women playing if they were being nasty to kids. I know it's not his job to baby sit, but you can clearly tell the age of these children and it's not just how they sound and act but what they say too.

If I was a bloke, I wouldn't sit there ganging up on a child.

So now we have gone from 'sometimes he speaks quite harshly to them', to 'swear and belittle'.

Which is it?