Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told my niece I'm not mad on her choice of name feel a bitch

490 replies

Everythingwillbeok · 16/10/2015 12:21

My niece has a little boy, 6 with a "normal name" popular and nice.
She's due in about 7 weeks I think with a baby girl. She lives about an hour away so don't see her loads, we've just chatted on the phone and she's mentioned her choice of name. I really wish I'd have said oh that's cute or something and as we were on the phone could probably have got away with it.

But I think I went quiet and said "oh right....Mmmmm I'm not mad" argh I feel like a cow, it's nothing to do with me.

My sister(her mother) has just text me saying I believe you don't like daughters choice of name, she's offended.

How can I put this right, we aren't particularly close but I really don't want to make anyone feel bad,especially when pregnant.

It's just a silly name, sorry but it is.

OP posts:
hiddenhome2 · 16/10/2015 14:17

The niece is treating this poor kid like a toy dolly by giving it a name like that.

She totally needs to find out about this thread. Unpleasant maybe, but she needs the truth.

diddl · 16/10/2015 14:17

Well, it's not to my taste.

Was she asking for your opinion, OP?

If you tell someone a name you are thinking of, does it mean that you are asking for an opinion?

When my mum told me that she wasn't sure about my son's name (he was already here!), I told her that I was informing herof her GSs name, not asking her opinion!

HedgehogAtHome · 16/10/2015 14:17

I'm guessing your niece isn't on Mumsnet...

If she manages to be despite not having internet I'd be impressed.

Duckdeamon · 16/10/2015 14:18

In the circumstances of this story OP's sister is being very -stupid- loyal taking her daughter's side and telling off her sister for her Hmm reaction!

Wonder what the niece's MIL's reaction will be!

MySordidCakeSecret · 16/10/2015 14:18

at the end of it, although the name IS pretty bad, it's her baby and it's her choice. It's not the worst name in the world, and if that's what she's set her heart on then you trying to intervene will just cause problems.

I'd give her a call, and apologise if you've offended her, maybe you can talk about the name a bit, and if it's obvious that she's thought about it and made a final decision then you'll just have to start getting used to it.

reni2 · 16/10/2015 14:20

I'm actually hoping the niece does have a friend on mn or maybe OP could show it to her sister.

I'm sure quirky and fun rather than coarse and sleazy was what the niece was after, maybe if she heard how unanimous the porn start verdict is she'll reconsider.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/10/2015 14:21

Oh dear. My, my.

I'd suggest that your 18th birthday present to your niece be the funds to pay for a deed poll to change her name.

Kandy-Raine. My word. Could you suggest the 'lawyer/doctor test'? When picking a name say it out loud with 'Doctor' in front of it, then with 'Attorney (Barrister) at law' after it. If it makes you want to giggle, don't use the name!

Dr Kandy-Raine 'Smith'…….nope
Kandy-Raine 'Smith', Barrister at Law……nope
Kandy-Raine 'Smith', MP…..nope

But..
'Now performing in our 'Kit Kat Lounge', gentlemen, give it up for Miss Kandy-Raine!!!'. Unfortunately, sounds about right.

DontStopBelievin · 16/10/2015 14:22

Oh deary, deary me. I was all for saying you should apologise and say sorry you didn't mean to offend her, and it's entirely up to her what she calls baby, but fark me - Kandy Rain?! Grin
She needs to get used to people's reactions as with a name like that there's going to be some reactions she might not like!
Me, I'd be trying to keep a straight face whilst saying something like "Kandy Rain?! That's erm, unusual..." translated as ahahaha you're kidding me right, poor little sod Grin

Sweaterweather · 16/10/2015 14:25

Don't like the name, but you need to apologise. It's absolutely nothing to do with you, and YABU to have said what you did.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/10/2015 14:26

Dear Lord that is a horror of a name! :(

I nearly got into trouble today - was at a school meeting and the appt of a temp cover staff was mentioned, the name was Kendall Dodd. I asked if the person was female or male (female) and sucked my teeth just a fraction - one of the others said "hold on before you say it, one of our other teachers has a DD with that first name" - but that wasn't what had set me off, it was the "Ken Dodd" thing Grin But Kendall is still a bad name for a girl, IMO

squoosh · 16/10/2015 14:27

Ken(dall) Dodd Grin

Caprinihahahaha · 16/10/2015 14:29

I dislike the name enormously but tbh I'm hoping that 20plus years from now people will not judge a law student on the basis of the stupid name her parents gave her.
So now I find myself hoping there is the equivalent of Kandy-Raine QC at some stage.

museumum · 16/10/2015 14:30

If i were you I'd be telling my sister that the name is awful and will lead to the child and her mother facing judgement from others.
I'd tell my sister that she ought to advise her daughter to be a little less "creative" and at least use a C for candy and ideally make rain a middle name not hyphenated.

Wolfiefan · 16/10/2015 14:33

See I was all for telling the OP it is none of her business. But OMG that name. Poor bloody kid.
Perhaps better to say it doesn't go with other siblings names (I hope it doesn't anyway) rather than saying it is a lovely name for a stripper!

JuanPotatoTwo · 16/10/2015 14:36

Bribe the registrar. Sorted.

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 14:36

I hope you are right too Caprinihaha.

Still as a person I'd be really fucked off if some dip stick named me Kandy-Raine thinking it was "Naice, Different, Unusual".

noeffingidea · 16/10/2015 14:36

sweater why should she apologise? She just said she wasn't mad on it, that's all.
She doesn't have to have the name on her CV. She can change it by deed poll on (or approaching) her 16th birthday, or before that if she can persuade her parents she doesn't like it.
Even so, she still has to go by the name through out her childhood. Hopefully she can come up with a cool nickname.

diddl · 16/10/2015 14:37

Is the father around?

What does he think?

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 14:37

I'm guessing your niece isn't on Mumsnet...
Though there is probably a MN'er with the username KandyRaine

Caprinihahahaha · 16/10/2015 14:39

My sister is a registrar.
She occasionally asks if people are really,really,really,really, really, really sure.

paulapompom · 16/10/2015 14:40

Well I love it!!!!! Just tweak the spelling to Khandee Raiyne and it's perfect - Hun!!!

Think you should take the pps
advice and say you are sorry that what you said upset her. You could say you just haven't heard it before and if it's the name she wants then that's lovely. I think she will get extreme reactions though xx

LittleRedSparke · 16/10/2015 14:45

thats HORRIFIC!!!

Dr Kandy-Rain will see you now (er only in a porn film!)

Professor Kandy-Rain will be taking this class...

talk about stopping her child from achieving much before she's even started

and as for calling her mum to tell her you had upset her (i hope it was in just a chat type thing, not specifically to tell her about nasty aunty EWBO)

Jaeme · 16/10/2015 14:46

Oh that poor child, sounds like she's being set up for a career as a stripper :-s

LittleRedSparke · 16/10/2015 14:46

Why should OP apologise for not liking the name!?!

ouryve · 16/10/2015 14:47

Remember this feeling for next time you're tempted to say something stupid.