To have told my niece I'm not mad on her choice of name feel a bitch

[Everythingwillbeok]

My niece has a little boy, 6 with a "normal name" popular and nice.
She's due in about 7 weeks I think with a baby girl. She lives about an hour away so don't see her loads, we've just chatted on the phone and she's mentioned her choice of name. I really wish I'd have said oh that's cute or something and as we were on the phone could probably have got away with it.

But I think I went quiet and said "oh right....Mmmmm I'm not mad" argh I feel like a cow, it's nothing to do with me.

My sister(her mother) has just text me saying I believe you don't like daughters choice of name, she's offended.

How can I put this right, we aren't particularly close but I really don't want to make anyone feel bad,especially when pregnant.

It's just a silly name, sorry but it is.

Or Maisie or Rhonda?

You are allowed to have an opinion. Same here and my opinion is that it is a strange name.

I would just leave it to be honest. She told you the name, you told her you didn't like it. She'll get over it.

The more I've got used to it the more it's growing on me, but I still think its a bit too OTT

Oh dear that's bloody awful! She is going to encounter worse reactions than yours, I'd ring her and say you didn't mean to offend but it's very unusual. Maybe it has given her food for thought about how people will react to her DD as she grows up, the problem is if everyone pretends to love it your niece will have her belief that it's a lovely name confirmed. That poor child is really going to suffer!

Or send her a door hanger with it spelled out in sweeties for the baby's room as a 'cot-warming' gift - maybe seeing it written down or spelled Quandé-Reigne might make her think twice. Or might push a close family member over the edge and confess that they hate it too.

Although it might also set the name in stone, and you will be held responsible for encouraging her. Hmm. It's a toughie.

I'd just call her Candy and hope I didn't get lots of 'it's Kandy-Raine actually' comments.

No, for the sake of politeness you shouldn't have said anything.

However, for the sake of the poor child, I think you should repeat it and be far more forceful in expressing your views!

Not really, you can't say anything I don't think, but I feel really sorry for that poor child.

Do you think your sister and niece might be tricking you?

Kandy Rain are/were a girl group who went on X-Factor - I think Christina Aguilera's DD is Summer Rain which is nicer...

I agree with SoupDragon. Say it lots, and are you sure it isn't a joke???

If it isn't, pity the child.

Kandy-Rain? Oh dear Lord that is awful

It could be worse. It might turn out to be short for Canderel-Rainbeau.

Yeah think the spellings going to be a big thing, she's thinking its a bit special with a K and people will think wow how original from what my sister has said this afternoon and never to be shortened to Kandy. Always both names.

Is it too late to pull the MN favourite 'oh no! I had Kandy-Rain down as my first choice for my next child! She can't call her that! I will go into a decline!' card?

I'm wishing they were pulling my leg,but no,defiantly the name she's got her heart set on.

God, that's all sorts of terrible. But she's going to have to get used to reactions like that a grow a thicker skin if she's determined to have such a strange name.

But be nice. Text her or ring her, apologise and say you didn't mean to offend her and that you taken by surprise at the er... unusualness of it and didn't know how to react in the spur of the moment. Tell her that it takes a bit of getting used to more 'modern' names picked by younger women and she's not to pay any attention to you or what you think.

Then gloat inwardly in the knowledge that she's going to have to deal with that reaction plenty more times before she's done.

Very very very terribly bad just awful x no words

Don't apologise for not liking the name. If she uses it your niece will need to get used to people sniggering going quiet when she tells them.

Having said which, if she does use it you will get used to it in no time.

I do believe that parents have a right to choose a name without being pestered by nosy relatives. But sometimes parents do need a slap. Kandy-Rain maybe not that bad. I've heard some worse things. But also depends on context (like ethnicity, native language, etc)

Can't you just show her this thread. You come across as very concerned and caring... and the reaction from everyone else will speak for the opinions of the wider world.

I think the band might be your way out. She is clearly trying hard to be original and special so if you say you assume she has named her after the band she might re-think. Its not so "exclusive" if there has already been a girl group with same spelling of the name.

Yeah could say I'd had my heart set on the name, but everyone knows I've been sterilized.

I think she's just having you on and her dd will be called Sophie. She wanted to know who will be honest with her because one day she might need real advice and all the "that's nice" people can't be trusted.

You still have to apologise.

Oh god, every time a poster writes it it just looks worse.

I don't think you should apologise Everything. Just phone her and tell her it's a god awful name and she's being ridiculous .

Is she actually naming the baby after the group that pps mentioned? Because that's just weird.

Yes, I mentioned the girl band thing to my sister, who texted back "yeah I think that's where she got it from" NO HOPE.

No-Hope has a ring to it!