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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to kneecap people when they say "Oh, she will HATE it one day" when they are talking about DD's hair right in front of her?

135 replies

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 01:09

DD has red ringlets. They are amazing. Below shoulder length, deep auburn with burnished lighter ones on top. We cannot leave the house without someone stopping to comment on them.
On the whole people are lovely, but a fair few also say "what amazing hair but she'll hate it one day won't she". I do rictus smile and say that I hope not/think not, but AIBU to want to whip out a softball bat and take out their knees* for making her question whether her hair, which is already a distinguishing factor, is also something to hate.
*Having never kneecapped anyone, I am also not sure that this is the correct technique.

OP posts:
squoosh · 16/10/2015 01:14

YABU.

Generally lovely comments with the odd stupid one thrown in is the norm for every child.

runawaysimba · 16/10/2015 01:17

YANBU. What is wrong with people, FGS.
You should act astonished and say "Why?" and force them to explain themselves. Then they'll realise what prats they sound.

squoosh · 16/10/2015 01:18

Also, I think kneecapping is done with a gun rather than a bat. A bat will just bruise them, a bullet will smash them to smithereens.

Just in case you were going to go through with it! Grin

honeyroar · 16/10/2015 01:20

Her hair sounds lovely. She may well hate it one day, but she will love it one day too. Let's face it, everyone hates their hair at some point. I have dead straight hair, I spent all my teens and early twenties perming it. Nowadays it's in fashion, but I would still kill for a bit of curl and bounce...

Just roll your eyes and say "I doubt it, her hair is gorgeous" and leave the subject.

TheDowagerCuntess · 16/10/2015 01:21

YANBU. People really are incredible.

I like simba's suggestion.

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 01:22

But squoosh - people don't stop children with brown eyes to tell them that what they have is something they should hate. Thats my problem - is they don't want to say something nice then just don't say anything to a 4YO.
That said, I appreciate your tip on the kneecapping. A gun, while illegal, would also be easier to conceal. Noone might stop to chat if I am holding a baseball bat in a swaggering fashion Wink
I just never understood this gingerism . Sigh.

OP posts:
squoosh · 16/10/2015 01:25

I was told I was ghostly white and would disappear in the snow, that kind of thing. I didn't care. If she gets rave reviews on her hair from total strangers I don't think the odd silly comment will have too much effect.

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 01:33

I would love her hair. I know she may well hate it at some point, as you say Honey, everyone wants a little something different.
Right I have two new responses - thanks Simba and Honey. And a bit of perspective, thanks Squoosh. It is nice to have the compliments.

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 16/10/2015 01:40

Just say "No...she won't, I'm bringing her up to revel in every aspect of herself."

RustyBear · 16/10/2015 01:47

Not really a very nice title, in view of what happened in Salford this week -though maybe it makes the point of the thread right next to this in active convos just now...

TheHouseOnTheLane · 16/10/2015 02:09

Rusty really? I think you're being more than precious there.

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 02:12

I don't know about anything about Salford Rusty, I am on the other side of the world. No offence intended.

OP posts:
Tiggeryoubastard · 16/10/2015 02:36

How odd. I'm an aunty of a few children with that hair. I also am a ginge. I'm late 40's. apart from a few half hearted comments (at the age where anything would be a target) at primary school I've only ever had positive comments, if any. But welcome to mumsnet, are you looking for sensational stories?

Tiggeryoubastard · 16/10/2015 02:38

Rusty - what happened? It's obviously not big news, is this what you/op are fishing for?

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 02:40

I'm not fishing for anything Tiggery. I know nothing about Salford! I was venting about the fact people feel they have a right to comment on my child in front of her.

OP posts:
BumWad · 16/10/2015 02:46

Can we see a if? Her hair sounds amazing

BumWad · 16/10/2015 02:47

A pic!

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 03:44

Here it is in full magic mirror glory. She is the one on the left with the curls. Just realised that we were out that day with her friend who also has red hair. Apparently we travel in packs Wink

AIBU to want to kneecap people when they say "Oh, she will HATE it one day" when they are talking about DD's hair right in front of her?
OP posts:
Iflyaway · 16/10/2015 03:50

Beautiful.

But joking about wanting to kneecap people is not on. The IRA uses that tactic for those who step out of line.

Senpai · 16/10/2015 03:58

Shock OMG! That hair is gorgeous!! I don't think I'd be able to resist touching it or patting her on the head.

(To kneecap someone you shoot them in the knee with a gun from the back of the knee pit, it will shatter their kneecap and cripple them for life. They'll never be able to put weight on that leg again. It's also the most painful place to be shot, or so Reservoir Dogs tells me.)

HicDraconis · 16/10/2015 04:10

A 7 year old boy was shot in the leg in Salford when he answered the door - I am assuming this is the story referred to above.

Agree the kneecapping comments in poor taste.

Your DD's hair is beautiful - I'd go with either a questioning "Why? It's gorgeous" or something along the lines of "doubt it, people pay a fortune to get curls and colour like that".

BumWad · 16/10/2015 04:15

Wow. That hair is absolutely stunning!!! Smile

Flambola · 16/10/2015 04:25

Her hair is amazing! The colour, the curls - I love it.

Why will she hate it? I am genuinely baffled and would be asking people why.

My hair is curly and I spent my teens and early 20s trying to straighten it only because I was made to feel ashamed of it by people's unhelpful comments.

steff13 · 16/10/2015 04:42

I'm so jealous of her hair. It's beautiful. Visit naturallycurly.com and teach her how to take good care of it and appreciate it.

EmMcK · 16/10/2015 04:50

Thanks all, and for the curly care tip Steff. It had never seen a brush and gets liberal conditioner left in but there is much more to learn.

OP posts:
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