Massive complaint to The Elders of the Internet

[Fishboneschokus]

Why no access all day until a few minutes ago ?
Is it because I am rural?
Is this normal?

Is this what it is like in Scotland?

Have you done something to piss them off?

Are you wearing a tin foil hat?

I am not prone to violence.
Also, I am so furious that I might just attack you, you being the nearest person at hand.
(Please pm address and timetables for public transport; thanks)

Och aye, we cannae keep up wae that fancy Tinternet stuff

It just goes.
(It is a reference to the IT crowd)
No :)
I am fuming.
Then it comes back.
Is it a rural thing?
Does this happen in towns?

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

(Threat of violence was to King, he/she being closest to hand)
Can't live like this and can't thump iPad.

It doesn't happen in cities . Your problem is that you chose to live in a rural idyll. And that you pissed off the Elders in a previous life.

There are parts of my house which do not get the Internet and I am semi-rural. I despise watching pish on the web then to realise that wifi has dropped and it has cost me £3.25 in 3G to watch my a fistant Facebook chum's dog hump his own bed

Brian. I would also like your name, address and postcode.
Just finished whole IT crowd.
(And details of public transport links)
(I now talk in Moss's voice)
:)

Why no access all day until a few minutes ago ?

Sorry, I was using it, running distributed simulations of virtual earths sucks up most of the bandwidth of this one.

Have you tried rebooting iPad ?
< press the 2 buttons simultaneously and keep pressed; iPad will go dark, then release the buttons when Apple logo comes up >

Are you on App (crappy thing) or Safari ?
If on Safari, go to Settings ==> Safari ==> Delete History

It's better upstairs but nothing all day.

Kick it

Safari. Will try . Thx.

I fimd Mumsnet v slow to access, in comparison to e.g. the Guardian site.

It's not mn, it's everything.

The Internet is a series of tubes. Did you block one up by pushing a bread roll down or something?

On the back of this I have just tried to download a broadband speed test. Keeps dropping out.

I am not in the outer Hebrides!

What are you using as your internet vehicle, for want of a better word? Mobile data? ADSL? Presumably not fibre broadband (though a lot of remote areas in England are getting that before small towns as a matter of priority).