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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

436 replies

Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 10:17

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Wolfiefan · 15/10/2015 11:05

I think YANBU to say the dog and the child must be separated if you are not there. That's regardless of breed.

ReginaBlitz · 15/10/2015 11:06

Actually maybe I have something against me owning the breed, not the breed overall

needastrongone · 15/10/2015 11:06

Why on earth has it put the 'fear of god' into you?

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:06

You're scared of staffies but you've never met one? So you have a fear based on what? Media? Reputation?

It is SO important not to pass irrational fear of dogs onto the DC. I hope you let him meet the dog at least. With you there. You could check it all out first.

sparechange · 15/10/2015 11:06

Stafford are the dog that do attack the most as that's what they were bred for

Yeah, except they don't actually feature in the top 10 for dog bites, despite being the 2nd most common breed in the country Hmm

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 11:09

Yeah my fear is based purely on news stories. Not so much the fact that they attack, as all dogs do.......its based on the severity of the attacks. The jaw locking....kids actually being killed.

Horrifies me.

OP posts:
StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:09

Stafford are the dog that do attack the most as that's what they were bred for

Nonsense. If I wanted a guard dog (which I don't) Staffies would be way down my list.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/10/2015 11:10

Staffies were bred for attacking??

I have two labradors, one kills and eats chickens, rabbits, birds, given the chance. The other isn't remotely interested in doing that, and hasnt ever done it.

You cannot generalise about breeds all doing one thing, or another. It doesn't work like that.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 15/10/2015 11:10

But am starting to think I should tell her to get what she wants and I'll judge the situation based on the actual dog.

That's the best way forward. And see what she is like as an owner as well. At the moment you are getting a bit worked up over nothing. I mean that in a nice way.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/10/2015 11:10

Op, I think it's important that your dsis gets the dog as a puppy, therefore you will both know exactly where it has come from and how it is being socialised. Also, I think even the biggest dog phonics would struggle to be scared of a Staffie puppy. It might help you. I agree that passing your fear onto your child will do more harm than good. And an important part of a puppy's socialisation is to ensure they interact with children.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 15/10/2015 11:10

Meant to say that my granny had 3 Staffies (one was the mother of the younger two). Two of them were the loveliest, softest dogs you could imagine. One of them was a lot more aggressive. They were brought up in exactly the same way and that's just how she turned out. However, she never hurt a human - it was other dogs she fought.

I do think sensible dog-child interaction is key. I have a friend who has a Border collie, and the collie is the most neurotic, nervous, stressed dog ever (like her owner!). She's had her from a puppy, so no previous damage. When she comes round to my house with the dog she can't relax in case the dog hurts my kids, and consequently neither can the dog, unless the dog is muzzled. However, she also goes through phases of shoving the kids at the dog to try to get the dog used to them. I had to tell her to stop because I was afraid my toddler was going to get bitten (dog was unmuzzled at that point). If she lets the dog go and sit calmly in a corner, things are a lot better.

I'd go for keeping dog and child separate, or asking for the dog to wear a muzzle (you get cage ones that let the dog drink through them) while around the child. And you never know - the Staffie might be a lovely gentle dog and you'll feel much more relaxed than you now think you possibly could.

Alfieisnoisy · 15/10/2015 11:11

My sister has an 11 yr old Staffie who has been with them since she was a puppy,

She is an absolutely beautiful natured dog, soppy as anything and just wants to snuggle up.

That said I would never leave ANY dog alone with a young child. That's ALL dogs.

Staffies have a really undeserved reputation of being aggressive. They are not aggressive dogs at all and when brought up in a family are great pets.

Not everyone likes them, they are not my favourite type of dog and I wouldn't get one but I do think they get an undeserved poor press.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/10/2015 11:11

*phobics. Damn autocorrect.

goodasitgets · 15/10/2015 11:11

The jaw locking is a myth
I was bitten by a border collie, that's the only dog breed I am now wary of
My friend has a staffie, he is the softest, sloppiest dog ever

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:12

Do you think your sister is a responsible person who would look after a dog well?

Are you a responsible parent who make sure common sense rules about children and dogs were followed?

If both answers are 'yes', there is no need to be horrified by lurid imaginings.

You sound almost as though you have a phobia.

nightmarehair · 15/10/2015 11:12

Someone that I used to see walking her dog when I walked mine had a springer spaniel & red lab. They were both exceptionally aggressive, she wouldn't let them play near Staffies or mastiffs because they were 'dangerous' her dogs attacked a person one day. Staffies are brilliant dogs depending on who raises them, there are so many in rescue people a) they don't turn into hard dogs for fuckwits who don't want them b) they get 'too big' c) the whole bull breed devil dog that the media portrays. My Dbro has a Dobermann, It's huge and was raised with children from a puppy and socialised at a very young age he's never had a problem wth it.

CatThiefKeith · 15/10/2015 11:12

Op your last update is very sensible, that's exactly what you should do. Smile

morecoffeethanhuman · 15/10/2015 11:14

Any excuse to use this pic of my gorgeous baby and daft lab guarding the pillow fort they were kicked out
Our lab is amazing with the baby (who loves the dog but is just learning to be gentle!)
However I never leave them unattended - even with my 7yr old, if I'm nipping upstairs he's popped out the kitchen!
Any bread can turn, it depends on the boundaries you set. I'm strict, and as much as i love the idiot, he's a dog at the end of the day so if my girls want to be running about the living room he's chucked out (with a treat so he doesn't actually care) if there are good boundaries and you can trust the dog will be removed at any over excitable behaviour then great. If not I would avoid the house like the plague!!
My best mate and my mum both have lovely dogs,but I know if my little one stressed the dog or got them over excited they would remove the dog straight away - yet another friend has a lovely dog which gets very bouncy and jumpy, after the 2nd time it knocked the baby over & she told me maybe its best to put baby back in her pram - I've not been round there. No judgement on her, her dog has free run and she would never "want him away from the fun" so i make my own decisions on what's best for my kids.
Maybe pop over a few times just you - see how she deals with an over excited puppy and stranger & you'll be better able to judge.
YANBU to be wary of a new dog
Yabu if its just CUs its a staffy

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?
Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 11:15

Muzzle option if the dog turns out a bit nervous never actually occurred to me. Feel a bit stupid for not thinking of it.

Wow. That could be helpful. Just having that option if he grows up to be a bit nervous.

And getting it from a puppy would help me.

OP posts:
StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:15

Oh more that's gorgeous Smile

OP have you seen a staffie smile?

sparechange · 15/10/2015 11:16

There is no such thing as a dog with a locking jaw. It has been disproven as a total myth both physiologically, and behaviorally.

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 11:17

Alfie why wouldn't you get one yourself if you know one that is wonderful?

OP posts:
Alfieisnoisy · 15/10/2015 11:18

"Police have called dogs the guns of the 21st century. To own a firearm, you need extensive training and a specific purpose for needing one. Yet anyone can buy a dog, which is potentially as lethal. Just like gun crime, victims of dog violence are often the families who buy them for protection. It’s not just gang members on council estates; even a family’s cuddly Labrador can snap, and kill."

Found the above in an article which I think sums it up.

All dogs can be "dangerous dogs".

goodasitgets · 15/10/2015 11:18

I can do a staffie attempting to frog leg, turn into a peacock and lick his own face at the same time?

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?
LittleLionMansMummy · 15/10/2015 11:18

They do however have extremely strong jaws - I've lifted my sisters Staffie up with her jaws clenched around a stick - my arm strength gave way long before her jaws did. She'd have hung there all day long.