To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

[Annarose2014]

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

How old is your son?

Yes, you are B slightly U if your sister has done her research with regards to choosing a good breeder, training, neutering, crate training, exercise requirements and integration with children. If she's done all of that and she is prepared to ensure someone is always with your child and the dog (this should always be the case with any animal!) then you won't have a problem. This would be true of any breed, not just a staffie (which have gained a very unfair rep as too many people don't do the things I mentioned above!)

However, YANBU to be concerned about your child. I think you need to do some research yourself and gauge how clued up your dsis is on dog ownership.

any dog who isn't raised correctly is a risk. Staffies are no more of a risk than any other type of dog. and with that I leave because this thread is making me really angry.

OP on MN the rule is that if you don't think your DC are safe in a particular environment you absolutely have the right to not put them in that environment.

IF you don't feel your DC is safe around a dog then don't put them there.

There is a very vocal minority of dog lovers who cannot abide the idea that people might not feel safe around dogs and who presumably deny the existence of dog related deaths altogether

This is interesting....

A recent study carried out on 6,000 dogs and their owners found out 33 of the most aggressive dogs, and also those which have good temperaments. The study involved collecting data from two different groups. The first group consisted of 11 different breeds and the second was an online survey mainly involving owners, including 33 breeds. The conclusions from both groups were similar. It looked at the different types of aggression such as towards other dogs, towards strangers and towards owners. Some of the results were surprising, below are the top ten most aggressive breed:

Dachshunds
Chihuahua
Jack Russell
Australian Cattle Dog
Cocker Spaniel
Beagle
Border Collie
Pit Bull Terrier
Great Dane
English Springer Spaniel

Taken from here

YABU, the only Staffie I have spent time with was very affectionate, the most aggressive and terrifying (as a child) was a family member's Yorkshire terrier because he didn't train it well so it didn't know how to behave. It is mainly down to how the owner raises the dog.

She is already v defensive about Staffies (despite never having owned one). The dog would be her child, which is cool - I had a dog for years that was like mine.

But I suspect she would never ever hear a word of criticism of the dog. And yes, would insist it was always "fine".

She would get it from a puppy....but she might be a bit strict, and I'd be worried that might not be the best training for Staffies. What if she's too strict and it becomes neurotic?

DS is about to turn 1. So needs watching like a hawk and will for a long time to come.

yabu to focus on the breed of dog. yanbu to not want your ds to be at any risk. Staffies get a bad press as very sadly they have been the breed of choice for some very irresponsible owners. Any dog can seriously injure or even kill a human, no dog should ever be left unsupervised with any young child.

The breed of dog is irrelevant.

anna Do you feel that your sister would be a responsible dog owner? Do you feel she would leave the dog and DC alone at any point in time? Would this be a wonderful opportunity, with careful management and education to introduce your DS to dogs and what is appropriate behaviour around dogs?

Generally, dogs don't just attack without reason. They will display many many signals before they even get to the stage of showing aggression.

Especially if said child is playing quietly and respectfully and there are adults present.

I think your sister is being very reasonable by respecting your choices too, so you sound like you have a good relationship where you can discuss things rationally.

I do feel very sad for kids that display unreasonable fear near dogs, even if their parents never have any intention of owning a dog.

I had a lady that once flung son to the ground in the park when my spaniel LOOKED at him. We were at least 50 metres away!! That poor kid in later life

Any responsible dog owner would watch their dog like a hawk with children and with new people and other dogs. It is just common sense. I am not a dog owner that thinks dogs can do no wrong... but I also think the owner has a massive impact on how a dog reacts.
If you don't feel comfortable with your son and a dog then don't let them be in the house together BUT don't blame it on the breed and don't give your kids a fear of dogs.

All dogs have the potential to attack (including Labradors)

What matters is how they are treated and trained by their owners.

Staffs are dogs that tend to draw the interest if people who want a status dog. It is more likely that a person wanting a dog for status will not train their dog well, which causes staffs (and other similar dogs) to gain their reputation.

If you feel your sister will not train her dog well then you'd be advised to keep your daughter away regardless of breed.

Chattymum is right, It depends entirely on how she will train it, raise it and socialise it, the same as any dog.

Is she getting a rescue or a puppy? I would be wary of any rescue around small children, but that doean't mean she shouldn't get one, it just means that she needs to educate herself about signs the dog is stressed, and never leave the child alone with the dog. Same as any other breed.

I have a rescue dog, a lab, that we got when dd was two (as was the dog) two years on they are the very best of pals, but dd is very aware that if ddog takes herself off to bed that is the dogs space, and she can't go there. She also knows not to pull tails, or ears, not to get in the dogs face, tease her, take toys from her or go near when she is eating.

Puppy's nip, naturally, and need to be trained out of that. Educate yourself about stress signals too, and take sensible precautions and it should be fine.

Everyone says about Staffies "IF they're raised correctly they're fine". But what if they're not? Its not like there's a class she can take

If your sister isn't going to 'raise a dog correctly', she runs the risk of it being unpredictable, regardless of breed.

So either you trust her to be able to raise a dog properly, or you don't. If you do, the breed is irrelevant. If you don't, the breed is irrelevant.

It takes a LOT to get any dog to be aggressive towards people. It isn't something that happens if you miss a puppy class. It is something that happens after systematic neglect and abuse, and total lack of training and exercise. If you think that is how your sister is going to treat a dog, you should be discouraging her from getting any sort of pet.

For a start your sister is BU for buying a dog. There are plenty rescue dogs who need a home.

I think yanbu in regards to your kids. Not because of the breed but because it will be an unknown dog. She will have no idea how the dog will be around kids. She cannot know it's temperament.

Your son, not daughter sorry!!

Can I point out that I'm not remotely afraid of dogs btw? My children aren't either.

I think the vast majority of people will understand that you don't want to take your 1yo to a house with a dog you don't know. It's fine. Dogs are always a risk and unless you know them and know the owner and you know how things are managed in their house, you're perfectly reasonable in choosing not to take a very young child there.

Just don't make it about breed as that's irrelevant.

With the exception of some of the banned fighting breeds which have been bred for aggression, there is no such thing as a naturally aggressive breed. There can be naturally aggressive animals on an individual basis, just as there are people, but one of the reasons certain breeds have a bad press is because that breed is disproportionately owned by twats who think that breed confers on them a tough image. Rottweilers and Staffies are classic examples of this. They make absolutely lovely family pets in the right hands. The truth is that the quality of the dog largely reflects the quality of the ownership, training and early socialisation of the dog. Much the same as people TBH.

If your DSis is likely to be a bit of a crap dog owner who won't pay enough attention to socialisation, training and walking, I'd steer clear of taking your child round - advice I'd give whatever breed she was contemplating. Any dog can bite in certain circumstances, and most bites are inflicted on children because children are (a)more unpredictable with quicker movements, ad (b) aren't as good as reading the 'back off' cues given by the dog.

Dachshunds, Chihuahuas and Spaniels come out in the top 10 of dog breeds known to have bitten people in recent years. Staffies and Rottweilers don't even make the top 10 list.

it's very sad that because of a staffies resemblance to certain banned breeds it's achieved a reputation that's very undeserved. Any dog in the wrong hands is dangerous, and yes I do believe that Labradors are responsible for most dog bites to humans every year, but no one thinks that when watching the andrex ads do they..........

YANBU and she sounds like the type of owner that would be utterly irresponsible and not here a bad word about her 'baby'. These people make dangerous dog owners.

A friend of mine has a jack Russell, it's a horrible thing and has bitten 1 of her DCs a few times, once quite badly. She always blames the child. It growls at you if you go near it when it doesn't want you to. She won't hear a word against it though even though the most animal loving person I know calls it a devil dog.

The breed is not relevant; young children and dogs should never be left unsupervised. I love my dog and I love my kids. Out of fairness to both, I'd never put either in a dangerous situation. Dogs are animals and young children are unpredictable little buggers.

ps - My BIL has a lab, who is awful. Snappy, stressed neurotic, Fearful of everything. He 100% has made her that way, by having ridiculous outdated ideas on dominance and leaving the poor dog on it's own in the garden for many many hours. Badly socialised and not allowed to be part of the family. Such a shame.

Interesting link Worra, thanks!

Talking about lovely dogs that are fine with family children is irrelevant when it is vanishingly rare that (media reported) dog attacks are carried out by the family pet. The headlines are always followed by "the dog, owned by the victim's uncle/granny/family friend".

I don't understand how anyone can think Staffies are cute. But that's by the by.

Also I'm certainly not saying Staffies are the only dogs that attack - I've known plenty of nasty JRTs/Yorkies etc in my time. But what frightens me about Staffies is that when they attack its not just nips, but hospitalisation!