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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

436 replies

Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 10:17

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Arkkorox · 15/10/2015 11:48

Then spent the rest of the afternoon with her head on his knee, and refused to play with the toy again because she was too busy giving him 'sorry' eyes

That's totally 100% typical staffy Grin

Flumplet · 15/10/2015 11:49

Yes op yabu. My sister has 2 staffies and they are the friendliest dogs ever. I have a cocker spaniel, that has bitten a child on the face (and before anyone has a go, i'm a responsible, caring owner). Go figure. Every dog is capable of biting in the right set of circumstances.

drspouse · 15/10/2015 11:49

There's some really interesting information on children and dogs, and breeds, and why children get bitten, here.

Dogs need proper training, but children also need to be trained (and of course supervised).

Arkkorox · 15/10/2015 11:51

Every dog is capable of biting in the right set of circumstance

This.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:53

I agree that people having Staffies for that purpose are 'Neanderthal' but it begs the question of why they choose Staffies if they're really so 'soft' IMO

Lots of dogs, lots breeds could be trained to fight and to growl on command and strut about at heel. But as a PP said staffies are particularly sweet and loyal and eager to please their owners so they are very easy to train in this way. They get them young and use their obedience to create a warped 'status symbol'. It's really horrible Sad

And for some reason the knuckleheads think bull terriers look good in stupid spiked collars. Apparently.

But dysfunctional young men with deprived lives do dreadful things to cars too. We don't hold it against BMWs or think Fords are inherently aggressive (I can't think what makes of cars the Neanderthals favour of the top of my head).

hedgehogsdontbite · 15/10/2015 11:55

We grew up with a staffie, before they became status dogs for yobs. Looking back I'm surprised he didn't kill us. We used to play fight with him, rolling around on the floor wwf style, arm in his mouth, him growling pretending to be savage. Never thought anything of it at the time but have to confess that they do scare me a bit now. Saying that, my DS was attacked by a Westie.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 11:59

Westies, Yorkies, JRTs are the breeds I was most cautious about when the DC were young, TBH. Some of them can have very snappy tendencies. Most are fine of course. But if we're talking about breeds to watch...

AmyLouKin · 15/10/2015 12:02

I have an old Staffie. Rescued and saved (as she needed an emergency operation) at the beginning of the year who is the soppiest, cuddliest lump around! We also have a very bouncy collie cross aged 3. Both love kids, though I'd be more worried about the collie, since she gets over excited. I wouldn't leave either alone with a child without supervision. I wouldn't with any dog. I would happily get another Staffie as the one we have at the moment is a joy. My Staffie is small but I have friends who own a massive male who is just as soppy as mine.
Basically OP I understand why you feel the way you do but please consider you may pass on your fear of dogs/staffies to your child! My friend was like this as her mum was scared of dogs!
You could introduce your child and the dog slowly and carefully with lots of supervision. Of course, it's your child and you will do your best by them and it's totally up to you how you do this. So while it's not what I would do I don't think YABU.
Oh and just as an interesting bit of info, more people are admitted to hospital with bites from Labradors than staffies. I saw a vet talking about it on TV, he also said staffies make the best family pets. You know your sister and how she will treat her pets, so you are more likely to know how her dog may turn out!

QuintShhhhhh · 15/10/2015 12:03

Hang on, did I read this right? You yourself have a dog, a jack russel, on the list of the most aggressive dogs, but your sister cant have a dog? And if she does get one that is not on the list of aggressive dogs, you wont bring your child around to visit?

Grin is that a promise or a threat? Wink

Dachshund · 15/10/2015 12:05

The breed is relevant but not in the way you think, as you can probs tell from my nn I own a dachshund and although I have taken every caution (and continue to) with him he can be aggressive towards other dogs and has growled at a few children in the past. Dachshunds are an aggressive breed as they were historically bred to fight and hunt big badgers! That's why I keep my dog on a lead and if there are children around I pick him up/contain him even though there has never really been cause for concern.

Staffies on the other hand are a gentle breed and make fanstastic family pets! TBH now that I'm pregnant I'm a little worried about my dog's reaction and I've been doing a lot of reading and planning about integrating the baby into our lives. Must add here that he's a lovely chilled out pup 99% of the time! No responsible dog owner should ever be leaving a small child and any dog alone together.

If your sister does her research and trains the puppy well as well as being responsible and aware about its behaviour there should be no issue. Staffies are absolutely lovely!!

needastrongone · 15/10/2015 12:08

I had the same thought process quint Smile

Trying to figure how I would feel if either of my DB's told me they wouldn't come my house with the DC if I got a dog of my own choice. Or, how they would feel if I said I wouldn't go to theirs because of their dogs

werewolfinladderedtights · 15/10/2015 12:09

The only truly dangerous dog I have ever known was a Collie.

saucony · 15/10/2015 12:11

I do understand your concerns but I think it's misguided. I have a scar on my foot from a fluffy toy poodle who looks like a teddy bear. I don't think you can be lax around dogs just because they don't have the staffie reputation,

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 12:15

Ark i actually hadn't twigged yours was a staffie!

Anyway, thanks to all for everyone point of view.

Have been talking about it with DH.

Texted sister "Been thinking about the staffie thing. Seeing that we're going to have to be super vigilant no matter what you get, you may as well get what you want. Look into puppies"

OP posts:
NeededANameChangeAnyway · 15/10/2015 12:17

I agree with pp, it's not the breed which is the problem but the owner. I've been bitten twice by dogs (drawn blood both times) - both my own and both times completely my fault.

I've never leave DS alone with a dog no matter how soppy and gentle it was. They are animals! They are unpredictable and a child is very unlikey to understand the danger or warning cues.

If you're not happy with the situation, don't put yourself or your DS in it. Simple. If DSis wants to baby sit she has to do it at yours and if you visit her, the dog must be locked away if you're not happy.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/10/2015 12:17

Reagrdless of people posting pics of their gentle staffies and inisting theirs are brilliant with kids, some breeds DO have a bad reputation and that reputation breeds fear of them. It may not be reasonable to be more scared of some breeds more than others but unfortunatley the fear is still there whether dog / staffy lovers protest of not

EatShitDerek · 15/10/2015 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Petradreaming · 15/10/2015 12:19

Very very unreasonable.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 12:19

That sounds sensible OP Smile

dimots · 15/10/2015 12:21

Hmmm. While I agree that any badly socialised dog can be a danger & children should be supervised & taught how to treat animals the risk of a bite can never be totally removed.

Even the most docile animal can bite if it is ill or taken by surprise - family pets I have heard of that were completely trustworthy have bitten children - One dog was accidentally trodden on while sleeping and jumped up in shock biting the child badly, another previously 'soft' dog turned very dangerous suddenly - it turned out to have a brain tumour.

For this reason I would never have a dog that I did not feel confident I could overpower single handedly if necessary. Staffies fall into that category, as do most larger breeds including labradors and collies. While I know JRTs can be snappy and bite badly I could overpower one if it launched a sustained attack on me or a child (I realise I would get badly bitten, but it would be unlikely to kill me).

On another point I would never feel comfortable with a child walking a dog alone. My dog may be well trained but other dogs can be dog aggressive. I remember walking my well behaved Westie when she was attacked by another bigger, dog. As a 10 yr old my instinct was to try & rescue my beloved dog, despite the fact I had always been told to steer clear of dog fights, my concern for my dog made me forget all that. Luckily I was with my dad who pushed me aside & dealt with the situation. As an adult now I can see that I was about to wade unthinkingly into a dangerous situation.

EponasWildDaughter · 15/10/2015 12:24

I love dogs, grew up with dogs, had my own dogs - basset hounds, dachshunds, great danes.

I've known nice dogs and horrible ones. All of mine were nice. One of the horrible ones i've known belonged to my parents after i had left home, (even though their previous dogs were all fine ...).

Honestly, if one of my family were nervous enough of the dogs to say that they'd prefer their child not to be at my house without their supervision at all times then i'd be fine about it.

The OP has said her main concern would be if her DSIS wanted to babysit the boy at her own house without OP there.

Your choice OP, at the end of the day. I don't think you're being unreasonable. DSIS can see her nephew at your house, babysit at your house, see him out of the house or at hers with the dog under your close supervision. Enough options there for her DSIS surely?!

RoseDog · 15/10/2015 12:30

Oh a vicious staffie thread excellent! I manage a large rescue Staffie and 2 children, she is my third child and she knows it, she sides with the children always following them about getting in the way particularly when they are eating Hmm

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?
Junosmum · 15/10/2015 12:31

Yes. Depends entirely on the dog. My sister was bitten by a Labrador, our family Labrador. Luckily no seriously. All dogs have the potential to attack. You just need to be sensible - no yanking it's tail, disturbing whilst it's asleep, don't leave them unsupervised etc etc.

TheNewStatesman · 15/10/2015 12:44

The "nanny dog" thing is a myth, sorry. This particular urban legend has been debunked MANY times.

There is no evidence that SBTs are more likely to attack humans than other dogs--but they are more likely to inflict very serious damage if they do. As in, fatal attacks, faces ripped off, limbs having to be amputated. Dogs of this type are not particularly overrepresented among bites in general, but they comprise a high percentage of fatal and very serious attacks.

There is also the issue that a high % of SBT have been rescued from abusive or neglectful owners--they tend to fill the shelters because of the wankers who breed them. Not the dog's fault, but I have to say that the combination of a dog who was probably poorly socialized in the early stages of its life AND the capacity to do very serious damage if it does decide to go for someone, makes me feel that I will always be extremely wary of these dogs.

IceBeing · 15/10/2015 12:45

Nice article worra, dogs might be a bit like scorpions...the bigger the visible armament the less venomous the actual sting!