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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp is a twat

152 replies

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 16:42

I've name changed because I'm so embarrassed.

One of dp and my friends came too see me today, she came to tell me that while dp was out with a bunch of our friends he took it upon himself to discuss our sex life.

He told them what gets me off and the things we get up to. The sounds I make and other really personal things that I wouldn't want anyone else knowing. Every intimate detail.

My friend said that she told him to stop it but the males of the group were egging him on to tell more. So he did.

Now I personally think that what goes on between us should stay between us. I feel humiliated and really upset. It's a total breach of trust IMO.

Aibu if I bin bag all his belongings and chuck the twat out?

OP posts:
Plumm · 11/10/2015 20:51

If my DH did this I wouldn't be able to sleep with him again, afraid the details would get back to his mates.

Notimefortossers · 11/10/2015 20:55

Please don't get me wrong, he is the highest level of douche right now and you should definitely make him suffer . . . but are the majority of you really suggesting she end an 18 year relationship (with 3 DC!) over this?

On a completely separate note, thanks for the hilarity. Squirting=pissing, shitting in debenhams . . . it's all been good :)

Eminado · 11/10/2015 20:57

This may seem dramatic but I agree with po who said this is worse than an affair.

He would never touch me again. Complete lack of respect, total deal breaker. NO excuse at all. I am
Shock for you honestly.

BathtimeFunkster · 11/10/2015 20:58

but are the majority of you really suggesting she end an 18 year relationship (with 3 DC!) over this?

Why should she spend any more of her life with a man who has zero respect for her or their relationship?

Presumably she mistakenly thought he wasn't a complete cunt who would publicly humiliate her for shits a giggles.

Now that she knows she is under no obligation to accept that.

AnyFucker · 11/10/2015 21:10

Tossers, yup

My husband would fully expect me to kick his arse right out of my life if he ever did something like this (and vice versa)

Dadsdotoo · 11/10/2015 21:23

I do believe women talk just as much about there sex life with friends than men do,......

Notimefortossers · 11/10/2015 21:25

Wow you guys are brutal. I love MN and mostly a lot of you really make me laugh, but it does make me uncomfortable how quick a lot of you are to jump on the LTB band wagon.

We don't know ANYTHING about their relationship apart from this ONE incidence. He's been a complete twat, but he was pissed and people make mistakes don't they? For me I would be MORTIFIED and probably wouldn't speak to him for about a month, definitely not sleep with him for a lot longer. I would however put on a brave face for my DC and I really don't think in the long run it wouldn't be something we couldn't work past . . . why does no one ever suggest couples therapy . . . just LTB, straight away? Really?

MistressMerryWeather · 11/10/2015 21:31

There is a difference between talking about you sex life with a friend and drunkenly using it to entertain people at your local pub.

His little comedy routine was entirely at the OPs expense.

CrapBag · 11/10/2015 21:38

I would be so humiliated I wouldn't be able to face the people he told. Ultimately I'd probably be too reluctant to want him near me in bed again which would likely spell the end of the relationship so it kind of,leaves you with one choice. Unless you think you could get past it? But I don't think anyone would blame you if you couldn't.

Original poster
Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 22:29

He said he doesn't remember doing it.
Now he's sulking downstairs because I don't let it go.

OP posts:
AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 11/10/2015 22:32

Sorry, but I call bullshit. Of course he remembers. This is his way of saying "shut up and let it go, because I've done nothing wrong."

clam · 11/10/2015 22:46

He wants you to STFU. Of course he remembers doing it, and even so, that's no defence, as he did do it, as evidenced by your friend quoting it to you. So, what's he going to do about it? Once he's finished sulking, that is.

AnyFucker · 11/10/2015 23:06

he is sulking ?

That is rich. Is this how he operates ? How on earth do you even fancy shagging this loser in the first place ? Confused

Original poster
Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 23:08

I don't want him near me. He's sleeping on the couch tonight.
I've locked the bedroom door.

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 11/10/2015 23:11

Oh, he remembers doing it, and even if he doesn't, there are enough witnesses to prove he did. So what's the worthless fleshwaste going to do about it?

This is a really unspeakable betrayal of trust and confidence. I'm not one to jump on the LTB bandwagon but if you can't trust someone with your sexual intimacy and secrets, that's a massive dealbreaker. He broke your trust and confidence and embarrassed you to the world because he wasn't man enough to withstand a few drinks and a bit of encouragement from friends? And now doesn't even have the balls to man up and accept responsibility and say he's sorry?

I can't have any respect for such a wet, weak, pathetic, spineless drip. He isn't a man, he doesn't know the first thing about being a man. I've never met him and he's making me feel sick. Actual bile rising.

Chuck him out while you think about whether to give him another chance. He has to know you mean business and how serious a breach this is. I would find it unforgivable.

ShebaShimmyShake · 11/10/2015 23:14

Also, I hope you posted this in AIBU for the traffic. You can't seriously think you've done anything wrong?

Go downstairs during the night and throw a bucket of cold water over the cunt while he's asleep. He's such a wet drip anyway he probably won't even notice.

Ohfourfoxache · 11/10/2015 23:17

Of course he remembers - what a fucking bastard Angry

And as for sulking, how fucking dare he Angry

SuckingEggs · 11/10/2015 23:18

He's got no respect for you. Absolute git. He can't remember?! Like that makes it all ok?! Every other bugger will bloody well remember!

I'd find it very hard to trust him again tbh.

TendonQueen · 11/10/2015 23:21

Of course he remembers. And even if he didn't, it wouldn't be an excuse for doing it in the first place. He's hoping he can pressure you into backing down which only makes it worse. As life partners you are supposed to be on the same team and back each other up. He is sending a clear message that this is not where you are as a couple. You are the 'outsider', useful as the butt of a joke. I'd be careful to keep your distance for him for a good while yet until you have worked through this, and I wouldn't blame you for this being a dealbreaker.

AcrossthePond55 · 11/10/2015 23:24

I'd tell him he'd better have a good memory for my past bedroom behaviour because there won't be any future bedroom behaviour to bleat about!

That is just so, so low. Bullshit on not remembering. And he needs to go to AA and stop drinking if he has so little self control and such a severe 'lack of memory' when drinking!

FuckTheseSixFishInParticular · 11/10/2015 23:24

Either he was so drunk he genuinely doesn't remember, or he is pretending because he knows it was wrong.

Either way, he is a 37 year old man who is now sulking because he utterly violated the trust of his parter of 18 years and the mother of his children by spilling the most intimate and personal details about her to all of their friends in a very public place, and he think OP is the unreasonable one for not letting this go already?

I think that merits a LTB.

bendybootpumpkinpatch · 11/10/2015 23:30

Crikey. Awful lot of " squirting" ,threads this evening. This is the third one I've read.Hmm

FloraFurball · 11/10/2015 23:37

Any chance your friend could support you in telling her DH that he was lying and you laughed your socks off when she told you what he'd said and put her right? That would surely make him look a right idiot. Doesn't change the massive betrayal but might make his friends think he's a total dickhead.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 11/10/2015 23:47

"He doesn't remember"? Like fuck he doesn't and that makes it all OK, does it? And now he's the one sulking. Fucking wanker of a shit-stain.

18 years is a long time to "throw away" but he's the one who's done the throwing.

He's utterly bloody vile and not even man enough to admit what he's done. All for a few laughs with his mates down the pub. That's what you and your private lives and most intimate details mean to him.

Honestly, it's the most foul betrayal I could think of. It would be the end for me

AnyFucker · 11/10/2015 23:47

Who cares what he looks like to his friends ? They all sound like twats just like him

It's how he comes across to his partner that matters and from where I am standing he looks like a piece of shit