Dp is a twat

[Fuckingfuming82]

I've name changed because I'm so embarrassed.

One of dp and my friends came too see me today, she came to tell me that while dp was out with a bunch of our friends he took it upon himself to discuss our sex life.

He told them what gets me off and the things we get up to. The sounds I make and other really personal things that I wouldn't want anyone else knowing. Every intimate detail.

My friend said that she told him to stop it but the males of the group were egging him on to tell more. So he did.

Now I personally think that what goes on between us should stay between us. I feel humiliated and really upset. It's a total breach of trust IMO.

Aibu if I bin bag all his belongings and chuck the twat out?

Yes, definitely bin the cunt. Am more of a lurker round here and have never actually committed myself to the whole 'LTB' thing but reading this made me FURIOUS on your behalf. Don't even think about feeling embarrassed. The shame is ALL his.

that's terrible behaviour. Drinking is no excuse. Kick him out.

It is terrible. I knew debenhams had been going downhill lately but really?

Asda too. It's happening everywhere.

How old is he, 16. Assuming he's not, then. He's a bit long in the tooth for telling the world and his wife about his sex life me thinks.
He carries on chatting about it, people will start thinking he ain't getting any. I never discuss my sex life with anyone. I have nothing to prove, plus its as natural as going for a shit. It's hardly news that couples shag is it.
Not surprised nor do I blame you for being furious. I would be, too.

It's bad but I wouldn't walk out on an 18 year relationship because of it if he's not generally an arsehole.

It sounds to me like he was boasting about it as opposed to making you the butt of a joke, not that it excuses him at all. For me though it would make the situation slightly more bearable if I knew he didn't mean to make me feel like that.

If he has form get rid.

But that's just the point Amaretto. What is he actually boasting about though, because he has sex. Don't we all.

Hypocrites

Op, he has brought all the boys from the pub into your intimate life. It's like they were in the room with you when you were having sex. Yuk.
I would ask him to leave until you're prepared to discuss the future of your relationship.
Is this a deal breaker for you? It would be for me.

So disrespectful.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

I think this would be a deal breaker for me too, I don't know how I would feel about being intimate with him again or meeting up with his mates. I wouldn't really want anything to do with any of his friends that were egging him on either.
Have you said anything to him yet op ?

Amaretto really how could she ever be intimate again with him knowing the boys down the pub are doing to be given all the details?

Jesus Christ

This would be beyond a deal breaker for me

I just don't know how you are going to get past this, unless you agree to forget it, which I certainly couldn't do. He's said it, and can't take those words back now. Your sex life is firmly planted in the minds of everyone down the pub - your friends and their other halves, and even if you can assume that in time they'll move on, the images will still be there and, if prompted, refresh.
I don't see what he can possibly say or do to rectify the situation, to be honest. But I meant what I said, I really couldn't sleep with him again - for the forseeable future, if ever. And what does that mean for your relationship?

Very disrespectful.

If I was a bitch I would tell him and the boys I fakeeverything.

Confront him and see what he has to say.

It's a total deal breaker for me, if DH told anyone what we got up to in the bedroom I'd divorce him for sure. If you ever went out with these group of 'friends' again you'd be wondering what they were thinking, life's too short to be putting up with this sort of shitty behaviour

Oh my god. I would be humiliated, gutted, embarrased and above all heartbroken to believe that someone I loved and had children with, would do this to me. It truly would make me question my whole relationship

Wow YABU! What a muppet your DP is. I'd feel the same as you, it would have irrevocably broken my trust in that person.

Woops I meant to say YANBU

Ugh my ex (when I was 20) did something similar after we split. And also blamed it on being drunk. I was mortified enough at that and we'd already bloody split up! It's a horrible thing to do, especially if you're still together

Lighthouse and LittleBairn I know, I would hate for my DP to do this (and I don't think he would), but I think the DH's intentions do make a difference here. I could get past it if I knew my DP did it out of some misguided sense of pride, but not if he was colluding in making a joke of me.

Yes everyone has sex but I'm sure we all know someone who feels the need to boast about it for some reason!

Only the OP can know what her DH was thinking and decide

YANBU. What an arse. Is he often this nasty? Wether or not it'd be a deal breaker for me would depend on how he usually behaves. I'd certainly be asking for space. How old are your DCs?

Whenever he acts like a tit

So it's not a one off, then?

What a pillock. Hopefully an ex pillock, before long.

I'd be ripped some strips off him and he'd be doing some serious sleeping on the sofa. in public hold your head high, if anyone bloke sniggers look them straight in the eye and say 'goodness guess not much is happening in your bedroom if you have to live vicariously though my dh'.

he's been a twat and completely broke your confidence but to the outside world hold your chin up.

Hang on - he harassed you to perform some sexual feat that you were incapable of doing to the point where pissing on him was the most reasonable course of action? At best he's a tedious, selfish twat - at worse this is a symptom of sexual abuse