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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dp is a twat

152 replies

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 16:42

I've name changed because I'm so embarrassed.

One of dp and my friends came too see me today, she came to tell me that while dp was out with a bunch of our friends he took it upon himself to discuss our sex life.

He told them what gets me off and the things we get up to. The sounds I make and other really personal things that I wouldn't want anyone else knowing. Every intimate detail.

My friend said that she told him to stop it but the males of the group were egging him on to tell more. So he did.

Now I personally think that what goes on between us should stay between us. I feel humiliated and really upset. It's a total breach of trust IMO.

Aibu if I bin bag all his belongings and chuck the twat out?

OP posts:

OurBlanche · 11/10/2015 17:05

I'm not surprised you feel like that. Basically he has turned you into a pornographic moment down the pub.

There is nothing he can say to explain why he did it, he did it for cheap prurient laughs. He can't even make it better, that cat is well and truly out of the bag.

I have no idea what else you can do but you can tear his head off and shove it any where you like.

Biggest ehugs, on demand, as necessary [hug]

Original poster

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 17:06

This is very embarrassing but he told them he made me squirt.

The truth is that he had been going on about me doing it for ages so I just pissed on him to shut him up.

I'm so embarrassed

OP posts:

Original poster

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 17:06

Yes we have 3 kids. 1 boy and 2 girls.

OP posts:

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 11/10/2015 17:07

18 years? Do you really think this is the first time he's done this? Or is it simply the first time someone was present that was willing to tell you what he did....

Original poster

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 17:08

When they get together for a drink they get loud. Half the village probably knows what I get up to in the bedroom now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 17:08

I dread to think alice

OP posts:

MrsBartlettforthewin · 11/10/2015 17:09

'nothing violnt or nasty though' op this is nasty! He has made you into a cheap joke to his mates. Tell him you know, listen to his explanation then send him pcking.

AnyFucker · 11/10/2015 17:10

Don't piss on him again, even if he were burning.

Original poster

Fuckingfuming82 · 11/10/2015 17:12

I won't anyfucker
Fucking arsehole that man. How would he feel if I told the world about him shitting himself in debenhams? I'm sure he would be humiliated too haha

OP posts:

catfordbetty · 11/10/2015 17:12

What a horrible thing to happen to you. Whether this means you should bin him depends on whether there are any redeeming qualities I suppose. Only you will be able to tell. Having said that, I could completely understand if some people found this a deal breaker. Revolting behaviour.

Crazypetlady · 11/10/2015 17:13

He is a complete waste of your time op you deserve so so so much better.
Tell everyone how shit he is.
Bastard.

ItchyArmpits · 11/10/2015 17:15

If having a drink makes him publicly humiliate his dp and mother of his children then he needs to stop drinking.

ItchyArmpits · 11/10/2015 17:17

How would he feel if I told the world about him shitting himself in debenhams?

Maybe it's time to find out...

AnyFucker · 11/10/2015 17:20

I think the shitting himself in Debenham's story being sent round a group chat/ email would be a fitting response. Also adding in that the stupid twat thought getting pissed on was the pinnacle of male sexual prowess.

clam · 11/10/2015 17:22

I sure as hell wouldn't be sleeping with him again anytime soon. If ever.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/10/2015 17:23

Ugh, this sounds really unpleasant. It also sounds as though he has done similar stuff before - perhaps not as humiliating as this, but has he got form for making unfunny jokes at your expense, for example? Do he and these mates of his regularly talk about women in an unpleasant fashion?
I think you should tell him that you know what he did, and see what he has to say for himself. Anything other than sincere apologies and you are probably best off getting rid of him.

FireflyGirl · 11/10/2015 17:41

This shows a complete lack of respect for you. I'm astounded anyone could do this to their partner of 18 years and mother of their children.

I personally wouldn't retaliate in kind - though I completely understand the desire to.

You need to sit down with him and discuss what happened. Only you can decide whether your relationship can survive this, but it will be far more harsh for him if you refuse to engage or play games.

Because of what you did, our relationship is over/I need some space. I will not stay with someone who does not respect me. Pack your things and we'll meet up (insert somewhere neutral) next week to discuss your contact with the children.

MammaTJ · 11/10/2015 17:48

I would be telling him loud and clear that what does not get you going is being talked about and humiliated! I would also be sending that message about shitting himself in Debenhams.

I might allow him to stay, bearing in mind the three DC, ads long as he was contrite enough to never drink again, on the basis that he cannot control his mouth when he does.

Having two daughters, be sure to ask him how he would feel when they are older if people were sniggering in the pub about one of them. If he is any sort of father, that should make it hit home.

DoveCazzoEIlMioCaffe · 11/10/2015 17:48

I shat myself in Asda once. DH would never tell anyone THAT!

But seriously OP - stern words need to be had. It's such a shitty thing to do and I'd have a real hard time getting back from something like this. Do you feel like you still have a future with him?

Goingtobeawesome · 11/10/2015 17:49

He will more than likely tell you it was a bit of fun. Well he's had his, it's time for you to have yours. Pillock.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 11/10/2015 18:13

I think you need to tell us about The Debenhams Incident.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 11/10/2015 18:16

Time for you to have some fun OP I think.. If he doesn't know you pissed on him now might just be the time to "accidentally" send a group text message round to confess.. What a fucking arsehole! I'd be gutted OP. Not sure if I could leave him considering the children though. I don't know.

Spartans · 11/10/2015 18:23

Yanbu I would leave dh over this. I very rarely say ltb. Because I am not sure what I would do in the same situations. However I know I couldn't be with dh again if he did this.

MummaV · 11/10/2015 18:30

YADNBU.
You need some space to think about this away from him to decide if your relationship can survive. Kick him out and meet up in a week or so to talk. Do not give in to 'it was just a bit of fun/banter' etc. He has degraded and humiliated you in front of a lot of people.
If he isn't immediately begging forgiveness (genuinely) tell everyone about him shitting himself, and anything else that would humiliate him.

Whatamuckingfuddle · 11/10/2015 18:51

Ouch, I actually think this would be more of a deal breaker for me than an affair, it's the deliberate degrading of you so publicly, I'm so sorry, I would ask him to give you a few days space while you think about it

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