To try to educate my friend that she is racist

[eedon]

She keeps saying things like "I don't think white guys are attractive". Ive said in passing not to say that around people as its racist, she's replied with " no its not, I like them " and I've not challenged her more.

She is racist right? If she just said " I find brown skin very attractive" that would be totally fine to me.

"I don't think white guys are attractive" the "think" says to me that it's her opinion and she's just not attracted to white men, not particularly racist.

"White men aren't attractive" racist and stupid.

I don't think black women are attractive.

NOT what I actually I think, but is that^ racist? Or just rude and stupid?

It sounds racist to me.

What do you want her to say/do? Start going out with people she doesnt fancy?

As far as racism goes, thats pretty much a non-issue.

Im sure the white guys that she doesnt fancy are not feeling oppressed or systematically abused by her sexual preference

Ha, good point Bran. Take her to court and force her to date a white guy (For the greater good or as the basis for a documentary or something)

If she said she didnt like white people, id see your point, but I think sexual preferences dont count, just like its not sexist to only fancy one gender

I don't think black women are attractive = racist

I don't find black women attractive = not racist, unimaginative and limited but stating a preference

however many of these preferences don't exist in a vacuum, they develop out of racism. For eg black men are hyper sexualised/ viewed as sexually aggressive so some women who are not used to spending time with black men may internalise these stereotypes and unconsciously be turned off by black men. That can apply for any and all ethnic types by the way.

I have a preference in terms of skin tone and hair colour but I have dated all colours because I keep an open mind. I don't exclude any physical types in theory but I know what looks turn my head make my fanny go wavy

I don't think it's racist, I think attraction is subjective and can't be controlled. If I said I am not attracted by women am I sexist?

Why did such a sweeping conversation come up OP?

No it isn't racist. She probably is generalising a little bit but then that's common. No one ever meets every white man, or every black man, or whatever so they talk in general terms.
If you were my friend and tried to 'educate' me on this matter, I'd tell you to fuck off, quite frankly.

I just live in a very different world where I'm really good friends with all different races.

Racism still exists obviously but in this whole extended circle I know everyone just mixes like we're all equals.

No one who blink twice at someone saying I don't find white/black men/woman attractive.

I hate how PC the world is sometimes.

Even the n-word (which I personally wouldn't say) is used as a term of affection. I don't see why something that has such negative history can't be turned into a positive.

Sounds ignorant and unintelligent to me, as well as racist.

My husband (black) often gets asked if he doesnt find black women attractiv (as im white). I find that question really offensive, as does he. As if him being married to me is some kind of stand "against his own people".
I got asked by a senior colleague at work (finance, city) if "id always been into black men" a question for which I raised a grievance (and won).
We were two people that fell in love. Not because we set out to date a black or white person or because we disregarded our own race. We fell in love, thats it. Simples

Tricky but I don't think it's racist. We fancy who we fancy.

I am half black and half white. I don't find black people sexually attractive. I say sexually attractive rather than attractive as I can appreicate beauty/good looks, but just personally wouldnt like to go to bed with any. Is that racist? Self hating? Or just a personal preference? I'm going to go with the latter.

I was once told by my crush in high school that he didnt want to date me because he 'doesnt go out with niggers.' I think thats probably the point where it becomes racist? I dont know.

In terms of your actual AIBU OP.

If your friend says 'I dont think white guys are attractive because they all all short and ugly, smell bad and treat you like crap' then YANBU to tell her she is racist.

If she says 'I dont think white guys are attractive' and its soley because she generally doesnt like the way the 'average' white guy looks, then I think YABU. We all have preferences

MrsDeVere how do you know OP's friend is a white woman? Maybe shes black?

Racist or not, it is bloody rude.
How can you prejudge the attractiveness of every man you've never met? At most you could say "my usual type is..." surely.

Why is not finding a particular race sexually attractive ignorant? I dont find fat people sexually attractive and wouldnt seek a relationship with one. Is that ignorant too?

two different things:

• you can't reasonably be expected to sleep with anyone, or any class of people, on some grounds of equality.

• you can't be racist against white people. That's not what racism is. Racism is directly related to the structural oppression of non white people by white people. you can be prejudiced against white people, and that might be a bad thing, but this is not racism.

however, people who are very keen to say things like this, especially repeatedly, probably have all sorts of vile attitudes. What may be racist about her (can't tell from the OP) is some sense of people of colour as being intrinsically sexy, possibly some instrumental sex of them as being available to serve sexually, as well... That's well dodgy

its not racist to have a preferance to what you find attractive and shes not dismissing white men as unattractive its just shes not attracted them ,that said attractions a funny thing i though i was attracted to slim dark haired men, dh is overweight and bald!