Partner called me ungrateful.

[HodgePodge23]

Him and I have different outlooks on gifts and I'm starting to think that perhaps I'm a bitch.

A few things led him to call me this. Firstly, my in laws bought us some baby stuff when my son was born. I left it at their house (in my partners old room) as we didn't need it and we don't have a lot of space at our house for unnecessary things. They recently found it and got upset that we hadn't used it. I'm of the impression that you can give someone a gift, great, but they are under no obligation to use it. Especially if they haven't said they needed it.

Another few examples. My sister asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her what I wanted and she got me something else (same price) because that's the thing she liked. I was miffed because I didn't like it, nor did I need it. She was upset because I didn't like it. My partner once again said I was horrible and that I should be grateful. She shouldn't have bloody asked me what I wanted if she wasn't going to get it!

Lastly my gran bought something age innapropriate for my baby. I thanked her and said he wouldn't be able to use it just yet as it was a choking hazard. She exclaimed she could never do anything right and took the bloody gift back!!

So yeah, aibu or is he?

Yes it does come across as a bit rude and ungrateful. Just smile warmly, say thank you and deal with unwated presents later, at home, away from the gift giver.

why was the outfit not weather appropriate?

I find most clothes can be worn at any time. Or taken and put in a draw and if it doesn't get worn pass it to someone else with a baby.

an outfit that wasn't weather appropriate

Where do people learn to speak like this?

Damn it I guess I am a bitch. If it helps I have ASD so maybe that's why I'm super shit in these situations.

The Grandma thing I can possibly understand, depending on how you said it. I have my suspicions it wasn't nicely.
The sister thing, you should have just smiled and said thanks.
The unlawful thing, you weren't even rude, that's pig ignorant. I'd be ashamed if my partner did that with a gift from my parents. How the hell were you brought up? Basic manners and decency cost nothing, ffs. You don't treat people like that.

+drawer*

Unlawful? Inlaw.

Wow! What a drip feed

I can speak however I please thank you very much.

Are you for real? I would never behave like that if someone gave me a gift. Bloody hell

So rude just to leave stuff at your in laws house like that. I'd be really pissed off. You should have taken the outfit and sent it to the charity shop if you couldn't use it or something but to just toss it in a room in their house is unbelievably rude.

You seem to love letting people know that their gifts are no good to you - not a nice personality trait

YABU. My MIL who is very elderly has spent 5 years buying age inappropriate gifts for DC1. She has never brought a single gift for DC2. Every useless gift has been accepted with good grace and given to charity or used when DC old enough and shared given DC2 never gets anything. Maybe I should be inspired by OP and just tell MIL how useless the gift is and ask why does DC2 never get any gifts?

Little by little

The story unfolds

Not a drip feed to me. Pretty obvious.

Ah, cross posted with your drip feed of ASD. Still bloody rude, you're an apparently functioning adult and should know better.

I have aspergers and so sometimes have to look orhers to know was appropriate. So I would listen to your dp and take what he said on board.

In regards to it being a drip feed- I was hoping everyone was going to say I was right so my ASD didn't seem relevant at the time.

Oh you have ASD that explains why you think its OK to be totally rude to everyone

Yeah you come across as ungrateful.

X-post

In that case it will help you to realise that however unintentionally your actions are hurtful to others.

If someone buys you a gift you say thank you and take it home. If you can't use it/don't want it send it to a charity shop or pass on to a friend. There is no need to tell the person who gave it to you that you didn't need/want it and have given it away.

Yes, we know you speak as you please, that is the problem.

Actually totalrecall1 ASD would explain exactly why the OP may not realise that her actions are hurtful to others.

Hodgepodge your last post made me smile

I think you were right - people aren't honest enough imo. But I also score highly on those AS tests.

I'm of the impression that you can give someone a gift, great, but they are under no obligation to use it. Especially if they haven't said they needed it

Rude. You wanted to make sure they knew you rejected the present, that's why you left it at their house. What did you think would happen when they found it?

Very sly and passive aggressive.

As for not being obliged to use presents especially if you haven't said you needed it?

Of course you're not obliged to use anything but you don't deliberately reject a present so obviously as you did. You use a bit of discretion. Accept graciously and donate to charity etc. You don't deliberately hurt people's feelings by leaving it at their house.

And all gifts are not going to be exactly what you need either, but sure where you got that idea from. The kind and polite thing to do is thank the giver and accept the gift.

I think you've been very rude and ungrateful.

AIBU? 'Err yes!'

dripfeed

'You are still BU'.

You are all meanies.

flounce

YABU. ASD or not, a little gratitude wouldn't hurt. You sound like very hard work.