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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shared Facebook accounts

72 replies

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 09/10/2015 17:03

I don't get it.

Couples who have one profile and share it.

To me this shows that one doesn't trust the other.

Maybe I want to Facebook my friend without her DP reading the messages too. I know I can text and this isn't an issue. I just.dont.get.it

OP posts:
FattyNinjaOwl · 09/10/2015 17:05

Not a clue. See it all the time though.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2015 17:06

I don't get it either.

But. I. Just. Don't. Care. Either. Way.

Are you worried about a particular person?

Original poster
ScribblerOnTheRoof · 09/10/2015 17:07

No, it's just that we had a conevrsation in work about it and 2 of my Facebook friends share an account with their partners. It doesn't cause me any upset but I really dont get it and it seems like you would lose a little independance. Its almost like sharing a phone

OP posts:
LucozadeBreath · 09/10/2015 17:08

I have an aquaintence who has a shared profile with her DH Hmm
Nothing says "she's got your testicles in her purse" as much as a shared Facebook account Confused

Lweji · 09/10/2015 17:08

I didn't accept a friend's request because it was on her husband's name, with his photo and their sons'.

I didn't connect the two, as I have only seen him a few, very brief, times.

Why?

Binkybix · 09/10/2015 17:10

I have never heard of this - really odd! I know an (ex) couple who used to share a phone!

catfordbetty · 09/10/2015 17:15

I would quite like to share my husband's FB - he has a great many more friends than me and I would suddenly look really popular and sociable!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/10/2015 17:16

It's not unusual in the context of an abusive relationship

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 09/10/2015 17:16

I only know of two such accounts, thankfully.

One is named along the lines of "SarahJohn Smith". After every comment one or other will put their name in brackets so you know who you're speaking to. E.g "Lol, hun, that's minging. (Sarah)" or "Yeah, mate. (John)" How on earth wouldn't it be easier to just have their own accounts?

The other is along the lines of (and I'm not kidding) "EmmaNPaulKobe'sMummySmithToBeJones" Confused. To be fair though, there are a lot of trust issues in that relationship so it may well be that.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2015 17:17

Perhaps they just don't use FB for anything private?

How much independence does posting Grumpy Cat memes need? Wink

queenmools · 09/10/2015 17:17

I find it really creepy, they are not one person they are two. Just odd.

Vagabond · 09/10/2015 17:19

I think it's an older generation thing. Like having a shared email account back in the 90's (which was very common back then). I used to have a shared email account.

VinylScratch · 09/10/2015 17:21

I knew a couple who did that and he was a controlling weirdo, she left him eventually.

ArkhamOffitt · 09/10/2015 17:24

I don't think it's that odd, but unless I was equal friends with both partners I'd probably limit the posts I let them see.

AnnaMarlowe · 09/10/2015 17:27

Couples operate their relationships differently that's all.

The people I know with shared FB accounts are those that only use FB rarely for specific things. FB isn't an integral part of everyone's life.

My DH and I have separate FB accounts but as we read each other's mail/texts/email and Facebook accounts you still can't guarantee a 'private' message to either of us.

It's baffling an incomprehensible to many of our friends but we pretty much share everything that happens in our lives and we don't keep secrets.

It wouldn't suit lots of people but it works well for us.

FunkyPeacock · 09/10/2015 17:29

YANBU

I feel the same about joint email accounts

MrsTedCrilly · 09/10/2015 17:31

I know one couple who do this, in their 60s. I haven't ever seen a young couple do it.. I think in the case above, it's not jealously but can't bear to do anything without each other!

DoJo · 09/10/2015 17:41

Most of the people I know with shared accounts do so because they don't use Facebook that much and it's pointless to have 2 accounts just to check invitations and messages. I think some people find it weird because they imagine everyone conducts some degree of personal life on FB, whereas many don't - the people I know who share don't really message anyone, so if they had two accounts they would only see what the other sees anyway.

MyNewBearTotoro · 09/10/2015 17:57

My parents (in their 60s) have a shared account. Neither of them really use it and almost all of their friends on it are family members. It doesn't seem that strange as they really don't use it much, just for access to photos of their children and grandchildren really.

BetLynchsBeehive · 09/10/2015 18:03

We have a whole family email account. Why is it felt to be creepy? It's the equivalent of a shared letterbox imo.

Shared Facebook would be fine too.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/10/2015 18:03

It's very popular in italy - I think it's weird as fuck too !!

BetLynchsBeehive · 09/10/2015 18:04

But these things are public anyway, not a private diary.

YouMakeMyDreams · 09/10/2015 18:37

A family member and his girlfriend have a shared page. They used to have separate ones. She is odd he is usually lovely and it's always her that posts on it now rarely him. I ended up deleting them it just got annoying.
I even think it's more odd than people who make Facebook pages for their pets and I think that is really odd.

Lweji · 09/10/2015 18:38

Not so public.
That's why people use passwords.
And have secret groups.

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/10/2015 18:39

People make fb pages for their pets?!

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