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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Term time absence - WIBU?

73 replies

Podsandpeas1 · 04/10/2015 08:48

DH works away often ; for this reason , we have had very little family time over the summer .

We also couldn't afford the extortionate holiday prices anyway.

DH family live abroad. MIL called last night and has kindly offered to fly out and host our family and both BIL's family for a few days in the middle of December .

It would be for 4 days - Saturday through Tuesday .

We are the only ones with a school aged child (5). Therefore , DD1 would miss two days of school .

DH thinks we should go and accept the fine as we haven't had any time together .

I'm a little nervous of getting a telling off from the school Blush

We would never lie to school about being ill etc.

WWYD?

Would we even be fined for two days?

I'm torn ! Confused

OP posts:
SquareStarfish · 04/10/2015 08:50

Very unlikely you'd be fined. Depends a lot on the school and/or LA.

spanieleyes · 04/10/2015 08:51

Unless you have a spectacularly bad attendance record already, there is no way you will be fined for 2 days absence! Write a letter to the Head, setting out the circumstances, accept that it will be unauthorised but that the family aspects outweigh this and just go!

monkeysox · 04/10/2015 08:51

Tell them she's ill. Not worth a fine. They'd have to put it down as unauthorised absence if you tell them the truth.

eatingworms · 04/10/2015 08:51

I would go, no question.

Glassofwineneeded · 04/10/2015 08:52

I don't think any school can authorise an absence now. I think the only way is to be honest, you will probably just get an unauthorised absence. can you ask at the school what their policy is? Have other parents in the school been fined do you know?

TeamBacon · 04/10/2015 08:52

How's the school with this sort of thing? Our head would grant permission for a trip like this. How's her attendance normally?

LIZS · 04/10/2015 08:52

Check dates for nativity, Christmas party etc. Your dc might be upset to miss out.

BrandNewAndImproved · 04/10/2015 08:53

I would ring Monday morning say you went out to the country it is for the weekend and your flights have been cancelled and dc will be back Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. I think it's over 5 days to get a fine but I may be wrong.

Or I'd ring in sick Monday morning for a stomach bug, only problem with that is dc will be talking about it when they go back. But they won't chase you up for that or say to you well dc said you were on holiday.

AmandaTanen · 04/10/2015 08:53

I would do it, especially at that age and time of year. My DH gets allocated holidays so can sometimes be given leave out with school holidays. We are in Scotland though so thankfully free of worry about being fined.

superram · 04/10/2015 08:54

Team bacon your head cannot authorise this. However, most heads would see the opportunity as a valuable one and be very unlikely to refer to la for fining for 2 days-if attendance is otherwise good!

BeanGirls · 04/10/2015 08:55

I would definitely go.

ilovesooty · 04/10/2015 08:55

In my LA this would be an unauthorised absence but no fine.

monkeysox the OP has already stated that she has no intention of lying and claiming illness.

ilovesooty · 04/10/2015 08:57

I just don't understand the mentality of people who'd go in for feigning illness or convoluted lies about cancelled flights.

And nowhere has the OP even indicated considering these options.

Crazypetlady · 04/10/2015 09:01

If I understand right MIL is paying for your flights?
Hopefully you won't get fined but if you do then you haven't paid for flights anyway so effectively you are just paying your holiday.
Go for it.

Sirzy · 04/10/2015 09:03

I would go if there is really no other option for going during the holidays.

However please don't lie. Firstly it's not fair on your child to ask them to lie and secondly that is the reason why so many schools are treating genuine absence with suspicion and asking for doctors notes and things.

Original poster
Podsandpeas1 · 04/10/2015 09:07

So the general consensus is go ! Grin

I'm very excited Grin

Her attendance is good , she's only ever been off for genuine illness .

The only thing that concerns me is that we didn't meet the attendance target for last year after we did actually get stuck abroad (at MIL's) when dd1 came down with chicken pox .

The visit was over a half term, but as we couldn't fly back , we actually missed a week of school and it was put down as unauthorised because it was a "holiday".

The twist in this being , dd was still only 4 so not of compulsory school age - but it did mean we didn't meet the overall attendance quota.

Would this change things or not ?

(Sorry if that was a drip feed, I hadn't thought of it until a pp asked about attendance )

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 04/10/2015 09:08

Personally I wouldn't go. I would tell MIL the school holiday dates and try to work around that. But yes no harm in going if you really want to. I would write a very nice and honest note to the head. They can't lock you up for two days can they.

Original poster
Podsandpeas1 · 04/10/2015 09:09

Sirzy I definitely have no intention of lying.

I want to be honest - and DC will look rather odd coming back with a lovely tan feigning illness Grin

OP posts:
LucozadeBreath · 04/10/2015 09:11

Don't lie about it...just go.
Missing 2 days of school is in no way going to compromise your daughter's education - especially not at 5 years old.
And her spending a bit of time with her grandparents, aunt and uncle, will be way more valuable to her in the long run, than 2 days worth of ABC's.
Smile Hope you enjoy your family break, and DD enjoys cuddles from her Grandma!! Smile

And if the school have a problem, then let it be there problem. Would be very petty of them to try to fine you for missing 2 days!

DoreenLethal · 04/10/2015 09:15

However please don't lie.

She already said she wasn't going to lie.

The only thing that concerns me is that we didn't meet the attendance target for last year after we did actually get stuck abroad (at MIL's) when dd1 came down with chicken pox

Then she would have been off with chicken pox anyway.

Two days, aged 5, in December is not going to affect her in any way. Go and let her have fun with her family.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2015 09:17

dd was still only 4 so not of compulsory school age - but it did mean we didn't meet the overall attendance quota.

If you mean your school's attendance target, it would be very unusual indeed to include under-fives in the LA's monitoring data, so I'd be surprised if that happened.

But if you mean her unauthorised absence brought her class attendance down, I guess that could be true as she would have been on roll at the school and therefore counted.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2015 09:19

And her spending a bit of time with her grandparents, aunt and uncle, will be way more valuable to her in the long run, than 2 days worth of ABC's.

What on earth are ABC's? Confused

InimitableJeeves · 04/10/2015 09:19

Can't you ask MiL to make it at half term or the Easter holidays?

greenfolder · 04/10/2015 09:21

Have a look at la website. Ours will not fine until more than 5 consecutive days in each 13 week period.

TimeToMuskUp · 04/10/2015 09:22

I work in an infant school and have a DS in Reception, but would go without a moment's thought. She's 5; anything she's missed that's life-and-death (which will be nothing, because she's so young) can easily be caught up on. Go and enjoy some family time.

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