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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Term time absence - WIBU?

73 replies

Podsandpeas1 · 04/10/2015 08:48

DH works away often ; for this reason , we have had very little family time over the summer .

We also couldn't afford the extortionate holiday prices anyway.

DH family live abroad. MIL called last night and has kindly offered to fly out and host our family and both BIL's family for a few days in the middle of December .

It would be for 4 days - Saturday through Tuesday .

We are the only ones with a school aged child (5). Therefore , DD1 would miss two days of school .

DH thinks we should go and accept the fine as we haven't had any time together .

I'm a little nervous of getting a telling off from the school

We would never lie to school about being ill etc.

WWYD?

Would we even be fined for two days?

I'm torn !

OP posts:

auntyclot · 04/10/2015 09:25

When was she 5? If her birthday is this term, she won't be compulsory school age until January (it's the term after they turn 5). Children below compulsory school age don't impact on the school's attendance figures and the school shouldn't be marking their absence unauthorised, they should be marked with a code X, which means "not required to attend". I would definitely go either way. Our school would authorise it but even if it's unauthorised, it's highly unl;ikely you'd be fined for two days.

Neddyteddy · 04/10/2015 09:25

You won't be fined. It will just be noted as unauthorised absence which is fine

lurkinginthenorth · 04/10/2015 09:27

Children don't die from 2 days absence. Children also do not 'fall behind' from 2 days absence either. Never met a child who has missed their targets due to '2 days absence'. Also it is December - full of glue, glitter, paint, nativity practise and Christmas Carol Services.

I'm a teacher.

The BIGGEST problem is families who allow their child to stay at home because they are tired, got out of bed late, want to go shopping, parents can't be arsed to take them to school, dirty uniform, they have a cold but are generally fine in themselves (no temp) or they want to miss PE or another subject they hate! Also the persistent offenders are those who have 1 day off most weeks or several 1 day absences over a term. These will NOT be for genuine illnesses.

Planned absences should be dealt with on an individual basis; current attendance record (no less than 95%), attainment (child making satisfactory-outstanidng progress in their learning) and the number of days/weeks they will be away. Unfortunately EVERYONE is being tarnished with the same brush because of persistent absenteeism of certain families.

OP it is unfortunate that the absence was recorded as 'unauthorised'. I would have fought this. Regardless oF where you were, your daughter had CP. So whether abroad or not, would not have attended school.Pity you didn't have a doctors note from abroad to back this up.

BoffinMum · 04/10/2015 09:29

Children are not obliged to go to school until the term after they are five so the legality of fining kids under compulsory school age is extremely dubious - it would presumably have the same status as fining parents for taking children out of a school nursery class for a day.

Attendance is pretty important at school, and children that have 100% attendance do better than those who are in and out, but I also happen to think it's pretty oppressive of the state not to think about the genuine need for family time and emotional needs sometimes as well.

BoffinMum · 04/10/2015 09:32

Lurking is spot on, by the way. The problem is with families who have not really got what we call 'the habit of schooling' and pick and choose what they can be bothered with. Families who really care about their children's progress and engagement with school are not the issue here and the policy is a blunt instrument.

DurhamDurham · 04/10/2015 09:35

I'd go if I were you, have a fab time and phone in sick to the school on Monday morning. My two girls missed school for families holidays, this was before the fines were introduced. They has a degree and the other has just started Uni to train to be a nurse so I don't think it was too detrimental

Branleuse · 04/10/2015 09:37

its 2 days. Just call in sick. Save the school the paperwork

ilovesooty · 04/10/2015 09:40

The situation of one off family events is something I can sympathise with and I don't think two days of unauthorised absence in this case is likely to be detrimental. I agree that parents who are simply neglectful of their child's schooling are the ones who pose problems.
People who advocate lying and calling in sick or feigning missed flights simply have no moral compass as far as I'm concerned.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2015 09:40

auntyclot

We don't mark unauthorised absence for under-fives as "not required to attend" because we don't have a mark for that. If they are on the school's roll they should attend. However they wouldn't be included in the LA's attendance monitoring data.

I do think it would be odd to enrol your child in school and then use the "not of statutory school age" argument to keep them off school for a holiday. If you don't want them to go to school until they're five, fine - keep them at home. I thought I'd read somewhere that's it's possible to do that now.

NorbertDentressangle · 04/10/2015 09:44

Hang on a minute ....when your DD had chicken pox why did the school mark it as an unauthorised absence? Just because she was abroad when she had it doesn't discount the fact she was ill!

I would have questioned the school about this and, in fact, if they start spouting nonsense about her attendance when you mention this next trip I would question it now .

As to this proposed trip I would do it - outline the value of spending time with her extended family, the cultural aspect, the travel etc

gingerdad · 04/10/2015 09:45

You've got to go missing 2 days is neither here or there. Especially at 5. Fines don't kick in till 5 days. School may authorise it due to my job I've had authorised leave in the last 12 months. Also if your school is an academy they have slightly more flexibility.

Go enjoy.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/10/2015 09:46

I am genuinely surprised that anybody thinks two days off school when you're 5 matters a jot. (Although I understand not wanting to be fined, which is a different issue).

Of course you should go!

ragged · 04/10/2015 09:54

Inform the school that you're going so they know she'll be absent and won't ring you. You can explain circumstances & they may authorise, but really doesn't matter if they do or don't.
I dunno what to tell you about the fine, at end of day it's only £60 at worst and they probably won't fine anyway.

DoreenLethal · 04/10/2015 10:01

I lost loads of school when I was 6 by moving countries twice - and I have 4 degrees to my name. It really doesn't matter at that age.

Youarentkiddingme · 04/10/2015 10:06

I'd ignore attendance targets tbh. My ds missed his last year with 26 authorised absences. Sounds terrible and looks terrible on paper and he was year 6 so considered an important year.
However only 7 of those were illness. 11 where when he was at new secondary doing transition, the rest were medical appointments etc. he has a long term disability.

He still got 93% attendance!

2 days is nothing compared to that and I would class seeing GP as exceptional circumstances anyway.

Enjoy your Christmas trip

Original poster

Podsandpeas1 · 04/10/2015 10:07

DH has just called MIL and confirmed we will be there!

I'm sooooo excited - MIL is lovely and loves having us over

We haven't told Dd yet as she will be hyped up and ready to go when it's still a long time
Away for her yet .

Is it too early to start packing ?

OP posts:

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 04/10/2015 10:09

We're taking 7yo did to Glastonbury in June, meaning 3 days off school - will be completely up front with school, don't expect it to be auth'd but don't want to lie.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2015 10:13

youarent

Your DS had 11 authorised absences for secondary school transition? Do you mean 11 sessions (5 and a half days) or 11 days? Either way, that seems a very long transition to me. Year 6 children in our LA have two days of transition at their new school.

FluffyNinja · 04/10/2015 10:14

Have a lovely break.
We just came back from a family party abroad. My DS (6) missed 4 days of school (either side of a weekend) and had a fantastic time playing with his cousins that he hadn't met before.
Luckily we live in Ireland and they don't have petty rules about term time holidays.

verenti · 04/10/2015 10:14

Have a lovely time Pods!!

Youarentkiddingme · 04/10/2015 10:16

It was 11 sessions. The secondary do a week transition but ds also had extra due to his SN.
I've actually lied as it was 12. But one of those sessions he was actually at his junior school even though he was marked as not there . Even more is he'd been there since before lunch as the senco and ELSA took him to new school and bought him back!

WorraLiberty · 04/10/2015 10:18

Her attendance is good , she's only ever been off for genuine illness

They've only been back a month so far (unless you're in Scotland).

How much time off has she had? This is what they need to take into account, before considering issuing a fine.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/10/2015 10:20

enjoy your holiday!!! it will be a rich learning experience for your dd. I firmly believe holidays offer as much if not more educational value.

dd1 went on holiday with grandparents in reception I asked her teacher if she would be missing anything and the answer was no. (was last week before summer hols)

CP would have meant your dd was off whether you were in a flat above the school hall or In Australia. they can't make these rules then throw following them. in your face.

so pleased you decided to go!

ManicPixieDream · 04/10/2015 10:22

My Mum lives abroad and we were in a similar situation last Christmas a though I had a DC in Y6 (I also work in a school). I wrote to both Headteachers explaining why we were going and when. Both schools authorised the absence. No fines, no lies, no daft excuses. Go, have a fab time but be honest or your DC will drop you in it when you are back anyway.

Nettletheelf · 04/10/2015 10:22

You want to take your children out of school during term time, which you know would be treated as an unauthorised absence, and yet you're fretting because you might get "a telling off"?

Grow up. Either do it or don't do it. You know the consequences.

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