to think dh needs to speak up or am I actually the money grabbing one.

[northernsoul78]

So dh has two brothers. We have 3 dc, one brother 2 dc and one none. This will become relevant. They sadly lost their parents in the last two years. The estate is about to be settled.
Through out the whole proc2fess the other brothers were quick to ask dh for his share of expenses such as flowers etc but less willing to pay up when he did the same. Most of this was eventually sorted but only after I encouraged dh to speak up.
Now the estate has been pretty much settled and all 3 brothers have received close to 180k which is of course a lot of money. (Well one received 3k more and dh and the other brother 1.5k less but this was agreed.)
However, it has now transpired that each grandchild was to receive a 2k legacy. This was not accounted for. Dh has pretty much said it doesn't matter as the parents can individually deal with their own childs legacy. Now in some respects this seem fairer but it is not in accordance with the Will.
I am torn between letting it go (I definitely would if I hadn't felt dh's good nature hadn't already been taken advantage of) and us sucking up 6k, dbro1 4k and dbro2 2k or speaking out and saying that grandchildren's legacies should be paid from the estate once some final proceeds come in.
mn what do you think?

Sorry got that wrong in op. Dbro 2 had one child.

Let it go. Totally not worth the likely fallout.

Not sure where rogue n came from

Leave it, it's up to dh

Money grabbing. Let it go.

I think I'd let it go, it's a small amount of money compared to the bigger sums.

Technically you are right as it should be distributed in accordance with the will. But since you're the one with the most kids you will come across as money grabbing. I'd just leave it.

If your DH says it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter. If I were in your position I would leave it to them. Their parents, so not really something you should be involved in.

How is the relationship among the DBros outside this issue? Are they close?

In the great scheme of receiving £180k, I think i would suck up the £6k for your dcs.

I think you are probably right. It is a small amount in the scheme of things. I guess I am just over cautious with money especially as I earn very little and Dh is now out of work. ( he resigned) sorry probably should have put this in op but it was getting long.

It's not 6k though. The 10k for all the grandkids would come out of the estate and reduce the brothers share by 3,333 each. So you'd only be up 2,667 as a family.

They get on fine.

Suck it up, it's only £2k !

Basically the brother with one child would have to give DH £2k - not worth the fallout

Technically not in accordance with will (solicitor speaking), but in the great scheme of things it's probably fairer. There will probably be more grandchildren but yet born who'd get diddly squat. Plus, for such a modest sum, not worth the grief.

This is the sort of thing families fall out about for years and years. If your dh is happy with the arrangement then leave it. Is the extra money worth risking the relationship with his brothers?

Sorry meant suck up difference between 6k we will pay and 3333 we should pay.
Tbh we plan to give kids more than that eventually as long as dh finds work soon or I can increase my earnings as my income barely covers half our food bill.

Based on what he has inherited I would just let it pass. The £6 K is only around 3% of what he has received. In my opinion not something to potentially start a family argument over. I'm sure the relative whose estate it was would not have wanted any disputes.
You are technically correct though.

Yes I think I will keep quiet.

Sorry meant to say as it isn't really my business.

Well, this way all the cash that the family receives you will be able to use as your financially troubled circumstances dictate, you won't feel that you have to tuck away your DCs money for the future and not touch it even in case of hardship. (trying to think positive for you!)

Who is the executor of the estate? The funeral expenses should have come out of the estate, then the grandchildren's legacies, then the remainder divided between the brothers. Given where you are now I'd let it pass, but really it should never have come to this.

I would just leave it but I'm surprised the money has been paid out before this was sorted???

When my mum died, she left all her investments to her grandchildren (6 of them). I have 1, 1 sis has 2 and another has 3. 2 further siblings have none. This money was paid separately before the rat of the estate was shared out. Ds was the only minor and his was put in trust. Other grandchildren got cheques.

We (siblings) had to pay all costs from what was left.

Not sure how your dh and siblings get to choose but get.

Very money grabbing. Keep quiet and be grateful of the £180 k

I agree you should keep quiet. I appreciate it's a tough one when the kids should have the money, and your financial situation is so tricky, but it's relatively small amounts compared to the fallout that would ensue.