to think dh needs to speak up or am I actually the money grabbing one.

[northernsoul78]

So dh has two brothers. We have 3 dc, one brother 2 dc and one none. This will become relevant. They sadly lost their parents in the last two years. The estate is about to be settled.
Through out the whole proc2fess the other brothers were quick to ask dh for his share of expenses such as flowers etc but less willing to pay up when he did the same. Most of this was eventually sorted but only after I encouraged dh to speak up.
Now the estate has been pretty much settled and all 3 brothers have received close to 180k which is of course a lot of money. (Well one received 3k more and dh and the other brother 1.5k less but this was agreed.)
However, it has now transpired that each grandchild was to receive a 2k legacy. This was not accounted for. Dh has pretty much said it doesn't matter as the parents can individually deal with their own childs legacy. Now in some respects this seem fairer but it is not in accordance with the Will.
I am torn between letting it go (I definitely would if I hadn't felt dh's good nature hadn't already been taken advantage of) and us sucking up 6k, dbro1 4k and dbro2 2k or speaking out and saying that grandchildren's legacies should be paid from the estate once some final proceeds come in.
mn what do you think?

It shows a lack of respect for the children that, instead of them receiving their legacy through a properly executed will they will rely on getting it from their parents instead, as if they are somehow less important than the adults - presumably if they were adults nobody would have suggested the same.

That said it will likely sound grabby coming from you OP unfortunately.

If it's in their account now that sounds like the end of the matter!

It hasn't really come from the right source though and hopefully the cousins will get there share too.

Your DH was one of the executors, op. Can he explain how it was missed?

Very badly handled but tbh having the three main beneficiaries as joint executors sounds like a bad idea anyway. I'm not surprised it was messed up. Surely it needed one person to sit down and do the sums, ideally a solicitor who can do it as their job not a busy bereaved son.

I don't know. He seems to have brain freeze re money. Brother asked him to transfer x y and y and he just did it.
It could be an non event as they should have enough from the bond to execute it but it remains to be seen if they do.

I think personally the problem is that the executors are responsible for settling the estate in line with the will. What if the parents do not keep the money in trust? Surely those dc as 18 could take action against all 3 executors? If there is a bit more money to come it would make sense to settle it out of that.

Good point green I hadn't thought of that.

I agree Green. In theory if the other brothers don't put money aside for their children, the children could come after the executors later on.

It all needs to be done properly, regardless of the ages of the beneficiaries.

When I've been a beneficiary, I received the money with a formal letter from the executors, asking for an acknowledgement.

The way the OP has now just bunged money into the children's ISAs could be deemed as a gift from their parents, not receipt from the estate as there is no paper trail. (Should anyone wish to query it later).

Yes the issue is potentially down the line if one gdc doesn't get its share. The executors would come under uncomfortable scrutiny, and the headache and costs would far exceed whatever 2k could grow to by then.

I think it should be done properly, although you will have a tough job making out this isn't because you have the most kids.

OP, have you done the maths on this.

Your children getting 3/5 of this money (a pittance given the total inherited) will cost you 1/3........ Is it really that big a deal?