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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going out with the "girls" isn't the B all and end all and that maybe these people need to grow up and stop dumping their kids on people so that they can go out and get drunk!

438 replies

Suzi78 · 03/10/2015 15:28

Just that really. I have shall we say aquaintences on Facebook who I've known from various places, work, college, school etc and their posts are full of nights out, holidays, lunches etc and this is all they seem to care about. There are four women in particular, three of whom are single parents (if you can call it that) and the other is married. There Facebook feeds are all about how they can't wait to dump the kids on their fathers at the weekend as they can't wait to go clubbing, to parties, concerts etc etc, but are dreading their hangovers the next day!

Now I know that everyone is entitled to a bit of me time and shouldn't be begrudged a night out but with these women it's every single week! Three of them don't even work so I don't know how they afford to go out every week as well as buying a new outfit, getting their hair done weekly, manicures etc.
As far a I'm concerned (before anyone suggests it, and I know that they will) I'm not jealous, I'm relitively happy with my life and could chose to go out every weekend if I wanted to as I have enough friends who socialise in different circles and I'm always invited to go out, but I work all week, my children go to after school club so weekends are for family time. Now I know that people do things differently and whilst that's all good I don't know how these women can just dump their kids every week not spend any time with them and spend their money on goog out when their kids need things first. I know I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I dot care, I think it's disgrace, a parent is supposed to put her kids before everything (within reason) and clearly these women don't give a damn and would rather spend their time getting drunk on nights out than with their child and spend money on flashy clothes and haircuts rather than on their children, AIBU to think this is kind of sad?

OP posts:
Obs2015 · 03/10/2015 17:06

Hang on a sec, op said her friends came round with their kids and they all played - op playing with her kids.

Now she's saying the kids are upstairs and she's downstairs cracking open wine with her friends.

So which is it? Hmm

HamaTime · 03/10/2015 17:06

I just dot understand the need to want to go out and get hammered every weekend

I don't understand why you need to understand it. I don't understand why anyone drinks at all - it's vile stuff. I don't understand people who get pleasure from attending sports fixtures. I don't understand the joy of dance music, or indeed, dance. And gardening! I mean, wtf, it's outdoor housework ffs. I just accept that people have different sources of pleasure. Why is your 'friends for dinner' the only thing allowed? Do you have absolutely no imagination? And if it's so bloody superior then why is your DH allowed to go to the damn pub when it's happening?

Besides, your OP was about 'dumping' kids who are

A. - with another family member (possibly as access - should fathers not have access lest the mothers forget their role?)

B. - asleep

DixieNormas · 03/10/2015 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 03/10/2015 17:08

See we are the opposite Suzi struggling for every penny despite us both working. I no longer care for going out and getting ratarsed. I did all that long before kids came along and now I am more than happy to spend time with them. If we had the cash it wouldn't be spent going out every week on lash. For a lot of people it gets boring. I don't miss it.

I can kind of see what you're getting at.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 03/10/2015 17:09

It's not for you to understand, though you don't need too. I don't understand a lot of things

I don't understand why people like to watch American sports
I don't understand why people Eat spicey food
I don't understand why people like don't like dogs
I don't understand why people don't like Roban keating.

Then people don't understand why I do like Golf
Why I do like coconut
Why I'd happily spend hours on the back of my stepdads motorbike even though I can't drive.
Why I like doctor who.

Neither they or me start today treads going these people do this they should do stuff like me!

They want to go out and get hammered when they know their kids are safe with their dads that's up to them you wouldn't that's fine you don't have to understand it though!

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/10/2015 17:10

So you admit that meeting up at each other's houses is only the 'next best thing'? Maybe deep down it is a night out on the lash you want, OP? It's just that you've somehow managed to convince yourself otherwise, how sad. Lucky that some parents can do the 'best thing' and actually go out, and they still get to be awesome parents after doing so. Lucky old them having the best of both worlds, and managing not to judge you for you boring old girls night in, whilst your husband is down the pub (probably having a laugh with the same brazen 'bad mothers' you're going on about).

Getyercoat · 03/10/2015 17:10

Look on the bright side though OP. You get to feel like a much better parent because you can compare yourself to these ghastly creatures.

^^ this.

I'm an awful parent. I'd kill to be able to go out every weekend.

BlueBlueBelles · 03/10/2015 17:11

Some people didn't do it all before they had kids though

I was married at 22, a mother of two by the age of 25. So when I was 27 and a single parent, a lot of my friends hadn't even started with their kids.

AHypnotistCollector · 03/10/2015 17:12

So when your friends come over you have a 'good gossip' while your husbands are out having fun in the pub. Sounds like great fun Hmm

What would you all talk about if it weren't for these women? You should really consider getting a life rather than sitting in your house gossiping and being judgmental, it's a pretty sad way to live.

clam · 03/10/2015 17:12

Well, isn't that all just peachy for you, then Suzi. You've got your life sorted out marvellously and your "friends" are low-rent neglectful mothers who are no better than they ought to be.

Next!

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 03/10/2015 17:14

Yes I was being facisious, the single parents arent dumping their kids with their exs (as you keep repeating) they are allowing them to know their dads probably doing exactly what your kids are doing playing board games and enjoying time with their fathers just as your children are upstairs. It's the same thing the mums know their kids are safe and happy! Yours just happen to he in the same house theirs don't! No ones dumping any kids on anyone!

Original poster
Suzi78 · 03/10/2015 17:14

Whatever! That's all i can actually think to say now.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/10/2015 17:15

Do you and your mates ever go to the pub while your DH's stay home with the kids, having a good 'gab'?

Seriously, your life sounds as boring as fuck.

This is probably why you're showing so much venom towards these women, for simply having a good time while their kids have paternal contact.

Supermanspants · 03/10/2015 17:16

Whatever! That's all i can actually think to say now

Thank god for that Smile

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/10/2015 17:17

Whatever? how old are you?

PisforPeter · 03/10/2015 17:18

I agree with OP. I know like this too.

SassyPasty · 03/10/2015 17:19

Haven't RT whole FT but have you told these Facebook friends what you actually think of them to their faces or just come on an anonymous forum to slag them off with your judgey knickers pulled up your oh so perfect backside? I'll bet my supposedly single parent's ass that you haven't.

I think you need a name change - how about meandkatiehopkinswereseparatedatbirth? Hmm

TPel · 03/10/2015 17:19

Presumably these children - who are with one of their parents - will be in bed asleep whilst their 'mother's' indulge in the worst reenactment of Sodham and Gomorrah.

If you are for real, unclench a bit. Life is for living.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/10/2015 17:20

Whatever - translation: I've ran out of goady things to say, so I'm going to flounce off until I've thought of more.

bigbloated · 03/10/2015 17:20

Like MrsGently I also have very traumatic childhood experiences of staying with my grandparents and my aunt with a similarly aged cousin. There were far too many midnight feasts, pancake and/or waffle breakfasts, movie marathons and baking sessions. However, my mum didn't go out drinking with the girls, so I wonder if that evens out things in the OP's mind?

laffymeal · 03/10/2015 17:21

Bravo OP. Those meet ups with your gossipy pals must be on par with the Algonquin Round Table with the kind of dry, cool wit you've displayed here.

WorraLiberty · 03/10/2015 17:21

I think you'll find the word is 'Wotevva'

ghostyslovesheep · 03/10/2015 17:22

Whatever - translation: I've ran out of goady things to say, so I'm going to flounce off until I've thought of more ... or bring out my sock puppets to play with

I feel sorry for people who can't grasp the basic concept that we all like different things :( must be sad to expect everyone to be like you - a constant disappointment

AuntieStella · 03/10/2015 17:23

Worra, you forgot the glottal stop!

Wo'evva

Aramynta · 03/10/2015 17:25

You sound incredibly bitter, OP.